Friday, April 17, 2009

Let... Me? Entertain You

Ahhh the fun never ends.

I posted a few days ago about this benefit talent show thingee we're doing at work to help raise money for a very ill coworker. Now if you recall, we have this sort of makeshift chorus at work. We'll be singing a song to open and close the show. A very talented coworker has revised the lyrics of "Let Me Entertain You" and "There's No Business Like Show Business" so they now reference the coworker and where we work. We had a mini-rehearsal today to learn the songs. I walked in about 3 minutes late to, "Oh great! She's here."

"She's here?" I thought...

"Susan, we've volunteered you for something."

"Okayyyy.... what?"

"Oh, you'll see. A special solo, sort of. You'll love it. It'll get you ready for your role in Abduction."

Riiiight. The role in which I'll be in a bra top and see-through pants. In a theater. Not at work...

So we go over the songs and then our "director" says, "Ok Susan, here's your part. The 2nd time we go through "Let Me Entertain You" you'll pop out from behind everyone and do this to people... " and she came over and basically did a G-rated lambada-style lappish dance sort of next to and sort of... on... me. And then, "Can you wear something revealing? Maybe under another shirt so you can take off the first shirt and surprise everyone?" Wait, what??? This is for a work-related event. A benefit for a guy who is young enough to be my child. But... what the hey, it'll be fun. Then we rehearsed it, which was interesting since there was only 1 man in the room and he happens to be gay. I guess that just made it feel safer for me. So that was fun, and I was thinking, "Ok, I can drape over my fellow chorus members..." and then she hit me with, "So you'll go out into the audience and pick people to dance on."

Scrrreeeeech. <--- That's the sound of my brakes screeching.

Excuse me? Into the audience? Will they give me tips? Because I'm not rubbing up against unsuspecting coworkers unless there's something in it for me. But seriously, I'm not quite sure about that part. I may have to plant people in the audience, people with whom I'd be comfortable doing the lambada lap dance. Husband and Alex will be there, so maybe it can be them... Otherwise, I'm sticking to the chorus, thankyouverymuch. At least they'll all be standing...

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