Out of My Price Range

Well. Last week I was so cocky with my "I'm gonna OWN this aria," blah blah blah. That was after being totally overwhelmed by the sheer number of notes on the page the week before. Well the sheer overwhelmedness has returned. Really. What was I thinking? What am I thinking? I keep practicing, doing lip trills, plunking it out on my piano backwards adding one note at a time, doing the rhythms, singing the vowels only and yet it still sounds choppy and awful. I know I have legato in me, I know I can make it sound nice... but how? Why can't I do it????? I need to be slapped, seriously. I see the insanity where my confidence waxes and wanes to the extreme. I see the insanity, but can't control it. Right now I truly believe that there is no way I'll ever be able to sing this aria well. No, really. I know last week I wrote that I was on my way to owning it. Well I just peeked at the price tag, and I can't afford it.