Pre-Hijack 6 Month Update

I seriously haven’t posted since JANUARY????? Yikes.

So I guess I’ll squash 6 months worth of opera and Mars activity into one post before hijacking my own blog to participate in an education chat over the summer.

One topic at a time:

First… The WING is no longer. I’m not sure what happened. So … I’m back on the main stage, as they call it. I’ve performed in two concerts. One was “April in Paris” and it was so much fun!

It was held at a historic mill – basically this large barn-like structure with some antique milling equipment still there. The stage is about 2 steps up from the floor. The floor was set with little round tables, cabaret style. There was a table of food at the back. And as the name suggests, it was all in French. Now, to back up… I had been working on Voi che sapete, then I learned of the theme about a week and a half before the show. French! Hmmm… back when I first began studying voice, I did learn a few songs in French. The easiest one for me to relearn in time to perform was The Tipsy Waltz. There were two Opera Project rehearsals and I had just one voice lesson before the concert.  It’s such a short song that

I sang it through twice. See if you can tell when I spilled the wine all over my dress.

The next month we had another cabaret-style concert at the mill. This time I sang Voi che sapete. The person who recorded this for me probably didn’t realize he was recording it sideways! Here we go:

I still need to work on standing still! Also, breath control. Remember to breathe! But I’m doing so much better with keeping my voice on top of the air.

Now I’m learning this silly aria from Barber of Seville. The maid sings it – it’s about how crazy the house is with everyone being in love with all different people, love is this terrible thing and OH NO SHE FEELS IT TOO. No video yet of ME singing it. Here’s a silly one I like. It doesn’t include the recit, which is a about 30 seconds long.

Then the other day I found a CD I made of accompaniments for songs I was learning with my voice teacher. I sang through them for my current voice teacher and we decided to work on Gretchen am Spinnrade and Vedrai carino. And I’m going into it all with the attitude of DON’T FEAR THE HIGH NOTES!!

So that’s the voice lesson summary. Now, onto the performances I’ve attended.

JOYCE DIDONATO in Princeton! Yes indeed. She is amazing. Had front row balcony in a tiny tiny venue.

Then I saw her AGAIN in May at the Met. La Cenerentola. Went alone. Went to the matinee. Took myself out for lunch at Bar Boloud beforehand. Food and service were fab fab fab. I had the prix-fix 3 course lunch. There was pate with these tiny pickles, quiche and a pear tart.

It was more food than I could eat. Then I went across the street to the Met and made my way to my seat in the orchestra rear. I was about 3 rows from the very back. View from my seat:

The opera itself was FABULOUS. But of course it was. How can any opera with Juan Diego Florez and Joyce DiDonato be anything but? She'll be there again next year. And so will I of course!

Next season I plan to see The Merry Widow and of course La Donna Del Lago. Nathan Gunn, Renee Fleming, Juan Diego Florez, Joyce DiDonato and John Osborn!!! Whoop whoop. Will convince the Huz to come with me to at least one of those.

Finally, in Mars news... not much. Saw Artifact in NYC. Ticket included Q&A and photo with Jared. He saw me and said, "Hey! The opera singer! We have an opera singer here!" And I swooped in for the hug. 

Future Mars news: 2 shows in August, but they're sharing the billing with another band so I have a feeling the crowd won't be the same. We'll see!

And now, the next several posts over the summer will be related to a virtual camp I'm participating in, about school involvement in the community. And maybe opera stuff, if anything happens in the middle of the summer.

No Fear!

Normally I don’t make new year’s resolutions, but this year I did make just one: Don’t fear the high notes. There are notes that I can comfortably hit and sustain, but for some reason when they turn up with certain words in a song, or in a certain jump from another note, I swallow them. Why? Fear. For some reason I’ve been afraid of sounding screechy or flat or just plain wrong. But that fear was causing me to close up, which of course then makes the note screechy or flat or wrong. So from now on my motto is, don’t fear the high notes.

I've been missing my previous voice teacher a lot lately.  I can imagine what she'd tell me to do when the notes don't come out the way I want them to. Sometimes I can hear her voice in my head, telling me to lift lift lift my voice on top of the air, aim between my eyes, and so on.

 

I’m working on The Sun Whose Rays are All Ablaze, from the Mikado. There’s one note that under any other circumstance I have ZERO problems with, but here for some reason I have a mental block. I think it’s due to the consonants. The note is on the words, “our worth” and “awake.” I think the W is messing me up. And let’s not even talk about the R in “worth.” In fact, let’s forget it exists. The K in “awake,” too. Doing the W and then the R or K has been my downfall. Sure I want to have good pronunciation, but the phrase is repeated a moment later in notes that I sing just fine. It’s more important to keep a beautiful, round, rich open tone than to worry about pronouncing these two words perfectly. When I stuck that idea into my head, suddenly I could sing the notes! Such a simple solution. I just need to practice, practice, practice so that I do it correctly every time.

At yesterday’s voice lesson there were a few other people in the house, so for me it was a chance to practice singing in front of people. I definitely felt a little self-conscious. But after a little while I got used to it. I told my teacher how well I can sing in the shower and she suggested I keep that relaxed shower attitude whenever I sing. Except, keep my clothes on. Obviously.

She actually feels I’ve progressed enough to sing with the Opera Project main stage again. I’m not sure how to even bring that up with the director. I did ask him if they plan on having Wing singers in any main stage concerts this year, but they haven’t planned that far ahead yet. Then he told me that the Wing is planning to do scenes from Marriage of Figaro this Spring. To me, that’s pretty much a message to stay with the Wing. So for now I’ll just wait.

 

There’s actually no news on any upcoming Wing concerts for the library series. However, I learned that the showcase concert in May is going to be a little different this year. In the past, they assigned roles for a few scenes, and also had people sing arias or art songs. This time around they’re having auditions. I’ve been working on Marcelina’s part in the duet “Via resti servita” and I (personally) think that would be a fun one to do. But as much as I’d love to be in a scene, the reality of the situation is, I can’t attend a whole bunch of regular rehearsals, what with working full time, having a young kid who’s in swimming, baseball and sometimes soccer, etc. It’s also hard for me to find the time to learn the recit. I asked them if there’d be any possibility of a “park and bark” as I like to call it, to see if I can sing an aria or art song, but they said that Figaro will pretty much take up the entire program. So unless I get a part that’s just me running on stage and singing, I might not be able to participate. That makes me sad, especially because my former teacher created the Wing for people like me, to get practice singing in front of an audience. I don’t have a future goal of being a professional opera singer. I just like to sing. I kind of feel like a scenes-only show (consisting of mainly high-school students) excludes people like me – adults with a full time job and a family — and therefore goes against my former teacher’s intention when she created the group. But the group has evolved, as groups do, and there’s nothing I can do about it except continue to ask if I can do an aria. And I'll audition for the concert when the time comes. Hopefully it will all work out. Meanwhile, I’ll keep on studying. And who knows what other performance opportunities might crop up.

Serendipity

It is time to write again. I toyed with the idea of writing a different entry for each topic I want to write about, or to write one long epic post covering everything that’s happened over the past few weeks. Decided to go with, "mini-epic."

So I had been scrambling around looking for a  voice teacher.  I gathered some recommendations and finally ended up going to this guy someone recommended. It turns out he actually knew my teacher, although he hadn’t known that she had passed away. So I had 2 lessons with him. He was very nice, but there was something about the entire situation that didn’t click for me.  Part of it was, it was in a nearby town that has metered street parking. So I sort of stressed over having enough quarters for the meters, and finding a spot near his house. It threw off my timing because I had no idea if I’d end up with a 1 or 10 minute walk to his house. Also, he did want me to commit to a regular lesson, which of course I understand, but I’m not comfortable doing that at this point. So I felt a little pressure from him there, although he was flexible for the 2 lessons we did have. I was sort of willing to deal with those factors, but then he made a comment about me having to unlearn everything my last teacher taught me so he can teach me his way. My stress over the parking situation, the pressure to commit and that one comment led to my decision not to study with him. He was super nice, but the situation just wasn’t for me.

 Meanwhile, I needed to prepare for the October 19^th memorial concert. I went to a rehearsal for it, coincidentally on the same day as a 30 Seconds to Mars show. The last time 30 Seconds to Mars played that same venue, I had an Opera Project rehearsal. So anyway I went to the rehearsal, then arranged to meet one of the teachers/directors for a lesson. That was fun, it went well. But generally he teaches only male students, so it was a one-time thing. He gave me great advice and also recommended that I hook up with a vocal coach. Bottom line, though, was that I need to take regular, weekly lessons in order to maintain and improve.

Then, the concert. I did pretty well, I thought.



Turns out it wasn’t broadcast live on the radio station. However they did record it, so who knows, maybe it’ll turn up online one day.

 After that, I sort of despaired about finding a teacher. How was I going to find a local teacher who I liked, who was as flexible as my last voice teacher was? It was impossible. About 2 weeks ago I finally gave in and realized that it just wasn’t going to happen. I actually said out loud to my husband that unless a situation like I had before just fell into my lap, I’d be giving up studying voice for a while. I knew I was giving in but I didn’t know what else to do.

That very same afternoon, I received a call from a woman, a singer and teacher, who had been very good friends (and was a former student, 40 years ago) with my voice teacher. Before my teacher died, they had discussed this woman taking on my teacher’s students. Because she was so close with my teacher’s family for so many years, they insisted that she give lessons in the house, in the same room even. It’s what my teacher wanted. So that’s what she’s doing. She told me that she’s still figuring out the scheduling, so is it ok with me if we schedule from week to week? And she’ll charge the same amount but will go 15-30 minutes longer. I seriously couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I almost started crying. This was the very same day I had the conversation with my husband. And BOOM something fell into my lap. 

So I did go for a lesson last week. I thought it would be weird to go into the house but have a lesson with someone else, but it wasn’t. It was actually comforting. It was great. It was natural. It was exciting. I kept giggling during vocalizations, I was so happy to be there. She was a great teacher too. So… I have a new voice teacher.

 

Next time we'll go over what aspects of singing I need to work on, what songs I've done, what I'd like to do, what she thinks I should do and just make a general plan or goal.

Back on the Horse

I still have the recording of my last lesson with my voice teacher from March on my iphone. About 2 weeks ago I was finally able to listen to it without crying. I actually sang along and felt happy. I realized I was ready to study again.

About the same time, I learned that The Opera Project was presenting a memorial concert for my voice teacher in October. I emailed the director with the idea in my head that if I don't ask if I can participate, I definitely won't be participating. If I do ask, there's a chance he'll say yes. And he did. I actually got a little weepy when I got his reply, saying that he's sure she would have wanted me to perform. So I'll sing Sposa son Disprezzata.

Next, I realized that I really do need to get some lessons in between now and then, because I've lost some of the breath control, legato and other good singing habits. So I got a few recommendations, contacted one of the teachers and we set up a trial lesson. That lesson was yesterday and it went really well! It turns out that he was at the Opera Project Wing concert where I sang Sposa. So he's heard me sing, he knows what I can do, he knows where I need work and also... he knew my voice teacher.

In the middle of this lesson I was internally freaking out thinking that there's no way I'll be ready to sing this song by October 18. Typical. And like my other voice teachers, he did a great deal of psychotherapy along with the regular voice lesson stuff.

I cried a little on the way home, because I miss my (late) voice teacher so much. I can't even. I'm getting weepy just typing this. But today I listened to yesterday's lesson, and practiced, and I can already hear an improvement in how I'm singing. So hopefully I'll make her proud. Now I will add her to the ranks of people I love who are no longer here, who I imagine come to the concerts to hear me sing.

One more thing about this October 18th concert: It's going to be broadcast live on a local radio station. They have a website with a link to listen online. NO PRESSURE. Zoinks.

Past, Present, Future

I really have no excuse for not blogging in so long. I keep having ideas of things I want to blog about, but I never seem to have them when I'm sitting in front of my computer.

So let's first do an update on Things That Have Already Happened.

Remember that contest I begged for votes for? Not the vintage cherry one. This one, to win a Meet & Greet with 30 Seconds to Mars? Well, like the vintage cherry contest, I won this one too, thanks to everyone's loyal daily voting!

Here we are in the room while Jared Leto thanked us blah blah blah.

Then we had the photos. Tomo, the "thumbs-up" guy in the black leather jacket, is the guitarist. As soon as he saw me he shouted, "OPERA SINGER!" So I gave him a big hug. Chatted with them a little, took this BORING photo...

So I asked for another, more creative pose:

This all took place before the concert, so even though we had been in the front of the line, we had no chance of getting on the barrier by the time we got into the theater. Instead we went up to the balcony and joined this row of photographers in the 1st row up there. They left after a few songs so then we had the row to ourselves!!

Next, let's have some singing updates. My last voice lesson was in March. I haven't had one since, and have been to only one coaching. I did perform, though. Here's what I did ... probably the best singing in front of people that I've ever done:



I'm thankful that I did have a chance to show this video to my voice teacher before she died.

There's a memorial for her at the end of the month. It'll be nice, I think. I've had no one really to talk to about her, I've just been mourning sort of on my own, which is very lonely. 

The other thing that's been filling my time and brain is that my son is now going to a special ed school for "smart kids with behavior challenges" ie, autism and adhd. We toured a bunch of schools, it was quite stressful. But we all like where he is now, him included. So things are settling down. I'm still doing a great deal of advocacy on his behalf with the school district over a few things, but things are getting done.

All this and I haven't really had time to sing. I sing a little, here and there, and of course in the car. But I feel like I'm losing my breath control and technique. I need a teacher. I have no idea how to find one, because I want MY teacher back. She didn't require payment up front, she understood that "life happens" and sometimes you have to cancel a lesson. I think I canceled maybe twice in the 4 years I went to her. Funny, my 1st two voice teachers sort of fell into my lap, without me looking for them. So who knows what'll happen next in my explorations.
 
More future stuff is, Met Opera tickets go on sale August 11. I want to see La Cenerentola and Die Fledermaus. It's hard to find someone to go with me though, and I don't have the money to shell out for an extra ticket in the hopes that someone will go. So I have a week to find a companion and convince them to pay now for an opera in April. Otherwise, I'm going alone. Wish me luck. I'll probably be going alone to Joyce DiDonato's recital in Princeton, but that's no big deal... just a 20 minute drive. I can eat pizza for dinner and still make it to the recital. But it's more fun when going to the Met to make it an adventure. So, we'll see!

Another Catchy-Uppy

Trying to get back into a regular blogging schedule, rather than this “1 post every 3 months” pattern I’ve fallen into.

Voice lessons are going well. I was supposed to sing at a concert in October but I was ill. Woke up with basically no voice. After discussion with my voice teacher she urged me to drop out, because if I tried to sing and didn’t do my best, I’d beat myself up. Then a few weeks later I got strep throat. Again, no singing. Then the subsequent concert was canceled because it was scheduled for right after Hurricane Sandy, which basically wiped out most of the electricity and half of the trees in New Jersey. So I missed about 3 weeks of lessons due to the storm and the infection. Didn’t sing when I was sick, obviously. So now I’m busy trying to work my way back up to where I was. Amazed at how quickly I’ve lost the placement and breath control. It’s coming back quickly too, but it shows me that taking that much time off from singing and from lessons is not a good idea.

For the concert I dropped out of, I was going to sing Sposa son Disprezzata. For the concert that was canceled, I was given the role of Iolanthe in a scene from Gilbert & Sullivan’s operetta of the same name. Yeah I’d never heard of it either. Sounds glamorous to have the title role, but actually it’s a pretty small part in that scene. I’m fine with that – I don’t have the mental energy to learn a huge amount of new music in a relatively short period of time. I’ve also requested (not quite begged, but that’s how I feel) if I could sing Sposa in that concert. I’ve gone over it with the vocal coach, I’m confident with it and am eager to sing it to an audience. They did have some art songs and arias in the program so hopefully they’ll let me. Fingers crossed!

Currently listening to Juan Diego Florez. I’ve written this about a thousand times before, but I must say it again. His voice. Sigh. It washes over me like a warm soft waterfall of happiness. Extremely excited that I’ll be seeing him in January in the same opera with Nathan Gunn. Speaking of Nathan Gunn...  I haven’t blogged about the Gunnster for a while. I do check his website for updates. He’ll be performing in Carousel in NYC around the same time he’ll be at the Met. Those tickets are tres $$$$ so I’m going to have to pass. That makes me sad but what can you do? He'll also be at Zankel Hall again in February but you know. Been there, done that.

The Lazy Blogger

This might possibly be the longest break I’ve ever taken from the blog. And really it’s just because I’m lazy. And busy. Busy being lazy. So what’s new? Let’s break it down.

Voice lessons: They're going great!! Working on the lower part of Rossini’s Cat Duet. Don’t have anyone to sing it with. How pathetic is that? I’m also working on Sposa son disprezzata. It’s sounding better and better. It’s in a perfect range for me. My main concern is keeping the air up and over and front for every note. I practice sections at a time to make sure each vowel combo gets lifted, lifted, lifted.

Opera: Got tickets to see Comte Ory at the Met in January! They changed their pricing structure. No  more Grand Tier Rear. Bye bye jokes related to that. Now it's premium, prime and balance. Like steak, almost. So of course the prices went up too. Balance is the last two rows on the sides, except for the aisle seats. The price difference is ridiculous. So I got the best possible balance seats. Hoping we'll be able to move to slightly better seats like I've done in the past. And of course if they still have it, I'll enter the weekly drawing for $25 weekend tickets. And YES!! I'm excited to see Juan Diego Florez and Nathan Gunn in the same opera. Finally! Maybe. As long as no one cancels this time. I don’t think either of them will. I don’t think I’ll cry if they do, like I did last time, but I make no promises.

Other upcoming adventures: Seeing Blondie (again) in early October, and then Adam Ant (again, after a Very Long Hiatus) that same week, two nights in a row. Meet and Greet tickets for Adam are $300 so that won’t be happening. But, as usual, I have something in the works… the tickets for one of the AA concerts are courtesy of a friend’s husband’s friend… so the friend will work on the husband to work on the friend to see if there’s any way we can somehow participate in some type of meet and greet. I suggested she bake the guy cookies, or maybe even a cake. Because Adam Ant was my life in the early and mid-80s. Much like opera and 30 Seconds to Mars are now. Now, the idea of meeting him makes me crazy with excitement. And even though I kept my cool meeting Juan Diego Florez and 30 Seconds to Mars, I can’t help but wonder if I wouldn’t dissolve into tears meeting Adam Ant for real rather than down an alley and behind a fence like I did last time… in 1985. And since I have no idea if it’ll even happen, I’ve decided to simply refuse to think about it. Wish me luck.

Finally, YouTube: I have an accounts under Melfindel, TheLuindriel and Bookshelf23. I don't need or want multiple accounts so I plan to consolidate them soon... whenever that will be.

Random

Let’s start with voice lessons and singing.

I can hear and feel myself improving every week. Slowly, slowly, I am incorporating and blending together the different techniques that together help me to produce beautiful rounded notes on top of my air. I’m currently working on many many songs, but focusing mainly on Voi che sapete and Deh vieni non tardar. Because why not sing two different character’s arias from the same opera? Also working on El Majo Discreto, I Love all Graceful Things, O mio babbino caro, and keeping fresh and updated on the songs I’ve already performed. Upcoming concert will be in April, I think in a local library.

Speaking of April, I’ve planned a trip to see the parents. Last time I was there they told me and Alex to stop singing around the house. Oh joy. Then if for some reason they do ask me to sing, my mother will interrupt and ask why I’m not singing in English. Oh joy. My dad will make some snarky comment about the crystal breaking, or when will I be onstage at the Met. Oh joy. So they’ll be snarky to me, but I will learn later from the relatives that they brag about me when I’m not there. What’s up with that? I wanted to plan the visit to coincide with Rigoletto at Florida Grand Opera so I could take my mom, but I just couldn't work it out.

Next random. For a giggle. Jared Leto has a photo blog. He has been asking people to send self-portraits that he makes into a collage and posts on his blog. He gets thousands of entries and uses about 20. He chose my picture for the first one. Look! Guess which one is me. Go ahead, look for me there.

Another random: Fun with the blog tracker! There was a period of time where I was getting hits from a search on “spider with striped legs,” mainly from people in Ohio. That’s weird, right? I often get hits from google searches about the Grand Tier in the Met Opera. And now I wonder if Nathan Gunn isn’t up to something, as I’m suddenly getting many hits from searches about him… including people looking for naked pics!! Uh… no. I realize that simply by putting this in a blog entry I’m going to get more hits. It’s a loop. It’s loopy. I’ve also got people googling him and my blog together. Like they're looking for him here. More than once. So now if they do it again they’ll know that I know they’re looking. I know that they know that I know…and so on, and so on, and so on.

Final random: My next operatic adventure is in March! It seemed like it would never get here when I bought the tickets back in August. But finally, soon, I'll be seeing Juan Diego Florez and Diana Damrau in Elixir of Love. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside, thinking about it.

If I Can Trill It, It Will Come

I’ve been bad bad bad about posting here. But I’m back!!! My voice lessons have been going swimmingly. We started Voi che sapete a few weeks ago. It was sort of a relief to learn a song that I already know the melody of. Also we’ve been working on different kinds of exercises. My teacher had me lip trilling up pretty high... then she pointed out that if I can trill it, I can sing it. And wouldn’t ya know, that knocked down some sort of psychological block - maybe one of those pesky gremlins- and there I was, ringing out these gorgeous high notes. Like, higher than I ever imagined I’d be able to hit. All this music, this voice, has been inside me all this time, and finally with the help of my teacher I am finding it and letting it out. She keeps giving me pep talks about what a gorgeous instrument I have, and how great I sound and all that. She tells me enough, I’m almost starting to believe her. Almost.

If I can figure out how to chop out a piece of the recording, I’ll post a section of the lesson where I’m singing these crazy notes. Meanwhile, I'll be singing along to all these high arias I used to think were out of my reach. Queen of the Night? Never say never!

Yeah, I know

Ahaha I have to laugh at the title of this post because a few years ago I wrote one called, "um... I don't know." My post today may have an opposite title, however it is not opposite, or even related to, the "I don't know" post.

That said... What is it I DO know?

Well, I've said several times that I love the internet, for how it connects people who otherwise would never have the opportunity to interact. And a few days ago, I received a really nice message on YouTube from some singer/teacher in France... I'll paste the email in here:

Just a suggestion... from another singer

Hello, Luindriel. You are musical. Your voice has real potential, but you're missing the level of relaxation & breath control that permits the tone to float. It's clear you want to sing, and you can teach yourself to sing in a way that will bring you great beauty, by going out to www.archive.org, and doing a search, texts only, on 'voice culture' and you can also get things from 'singing', but texts only. You will find a host of books written more than 100 years ago that will show you how to sing the way you obviously want to. At the moment, your vowels are poorly formed, but that's normal if no one has shown you how to do them so that they ring without pushing. Take your future into your own hands. I teach in France or I would offer to help in person. What you want is a beautiful free easy sound, and you can get it more quickly by relaxing your jaw, your tongue, your face even. That's just a smidgen of the kinds of great solutions you can find. I used these books to reset my own technique recently, and they work, as now I am singing better than ever. A good book to begin with is How to Breathe, Speak and Sing, which gets into the old Italian school, the secret of great singing. There's also a new book out by Denes Striny called 'Head First, the Language of the Head Voice' that talks about the same things but in simpler terms. Just skip through the secions on anatomy if you don't like them - they're not crucial. I guarantee you results, and it's free (Striny's book isn't, of course), and all the old books on singing can be downloaded. Great summer reading for a singer. Good luck, and I hope you keep singing.
Robin Hendrix, Perpignan, France

I replied, thanking her for taking the time to write and recommend things, and gave her a brief account of my singing history and background.

Her email really pointed out to me things I already knew but needed to hear - especially the very 2nd line - that I’m missing the level of relaxation and breath control that permits the tone to float. That’s exactly what I’ve been working on! A few weeks ago my teacher pointed out that I seem to always have fun... except when I’m on stage... So I’ll probably peek at some of the books she recommends. But the reason I’m sharing this is, how nice is it that some random person came across my videos and took the time to compose such a nice message? A change from some of the comments I’ve gotten on the videos, my favorite being, “stop sing!!!!!!!!!!!! you destroyed this beautiful peace!” on If Music Be the Food of Love. That may be, but please, if you're going to criticize, at least offer some suggestions for improvement?

What also stood out to me in the message, "Take your future into your own hands." Yes! I agree!! I have always believed that. It's good to hear it from someone else.

So I have a voice lesson today. I’ll have to remember to tell my teacher that I’m going to see Blondie in September!! Debbie Harry was her student back in the early 80s, back when I was singing along to Blondie into my hairbrush microphone in front of my bedroom mirror at the time. Yeah, that makes me giggle.

Suck it Up

You know how sometimes you're trying to learn something and you're just not getting it… then one day someone describes it in a different way, or uses a different word, and suddenly it all makes sense? That's what happened when I switched voice teachers a year ago… my current teacher had a different way of describing what I needed to do and suddenly it just clicked. I made a huge leap in my singing ability based on that… and while I've slowly continued to improve and refine my singing, I don't feel like I've made any huge leaps since then.

Then at my last lesson, we were doing vocal warm-ups at some lower notes and she said, "Think of sucking your voice up." I had been thinking along the lines of throwing it out between my eyes, focusing over my nose, or up and over inside my mouth and face. When she said to suck it up, I thought of trying to suck it into my skull. Of using my brain to pull it up there. That one word somehow made something click, and I was suddenly able to keep my voice up on top of the air at a note that I had struggled with before.

So off I go now, to suck it up.

Coughing Through the Oldies

Welcome to the sick house. Luckily it's not the kind of virus you can catch from reading a blog. We have all had some version of "what's going around." Had to skip my voice lesson this week, not because of my chronic coughing-up-a-lung cough, but because the evening before I was up at 3am with Alex and his over 103.1 degree fever. I say "over" because I took it with an ear thermometer, and that thing registers us as having body temps of 95 when we're healthy... so who knows what his temp actually was? He's doing much better now except for his coughing-up-a-lung cough that seems to be much worse for him than it is for me. My poor little future opera-singer baseball-player astronaut.

I've been going back on my own and revisiting many of the songs I learned with my previous teacher, to try and apply all I've learned since then. It's interesting because my body falls into the same old habit of how I sang those songs when I learned them, even though I know proper technique and what I need to do to make them ring out on top of the air. So then I go back and do them without consonants, and note by note, to make sure each and every note is getting on top of the air. And then still, when I try to sing it, I sometimes slip back into bad habits here and there. Mostly at the beginning or end of a phrase. Like it takes me a few notes to get up to where I want to be, and then I let down early. So I then go back and force myself to pay extra attention, over and over, so I can relearn the songs the correct way. Maybe one day (when I'm home alone) I'll record myself singing one of them. I really want to retry Gretchen am Spinnrade. Of course I have no idea how to pronounce most of the words, which sort of puts a damper on learning it... But I'll get it.

At my previous lesson I started learning "The Sun Whose Rays are all Ablaze" from the Mikado. Gilbert & Sullivan!! Learning it for real!! How fun!! Here's a sample so you can hear how it sounds.

As we were going over it, the next student was out in the foyer and heard me. She commented on how much I've improved since she last heard me sing. People keep saying that - I know it's a compliment and I do take it as such, and thank them graciously, because I truly am thankful, but it does sort of make me feel embarrassed at how bad I must have been before, for so many people to comment on how much I've improved. I know they don't mean that either, but it does cross my mind. And while it does make me wish I had started studying voice years ago, I'm also so very grateful for having started when I did. And I can never express how thankful I am for Alex's early childhood music teacher for putting me on that path.

Hearing is Believing

I still can't believe I sang at the meet and greet. I know this sappy happy feeling will fade, but I'm reveling in it now. I mean, WOW. Jared snapped his head around at the sound of my voice. A voice that he has, in part, inspired me to achieve. The whole band has, really, but you know. I was pretending that he had to be able to hear me up in that cupola in the painting! I lapsed into that trance and forgot that he was actually in the room. How ridiculous is that?! It was, as one friend pointed out to me, both thrilling and slightly horrific at the same time. But mostly thrilling! And somehow, through it all, I managed to maintain bladder control. Actually, peeing in my pants wasn't really a concern of mine. Forgetting how to talk coherently, yeah. But that's pretty much always a concern...

But yeah. Shannon fawned over me and my voice. Tomo and I talked about proper breathing. Jared... he heard me sing. And complimented my voice. I didn't even think to tell him that he has inspired me. I was just... gahhh.

My voice teacher was thrilled when I told her all about it. She said that it really took cojones to do that, and she's not surprised that I did, because I have them! She pointed out to me how validating is it to be able to sing on command and to "wow" people like that. And that often people are in awe of opera singers because opera seems so difficult and inaccessible. Was Shannon star struck? Maybe a little! Plus he was definitely impressed that I had the cojones to do it. The truth is, I felt a little uncomfortable by the attention. People were there to see them, not to hear me. She told me to get used to it. Yikes!!

I've found that people I know are impressed that I can sing an entire "song" in another language. But I don't just stand up and perform - I practice and study and learn the words and the notes and how to sing them and I practice singing them in front of people and so on. It may appear effortless in the end, which is the goal, but it's only all the prep work that makes it seem so.

And now, life resumes as before. Must must must call the vocal coach. Must must must mentally prep for my next adventure, which is seeing Nathan Gunn perform next month. And then Juan Diego Florez, Diana Damrau and Joyce DiDonato the following month. And finally, I must plan for my next adventure on Mars!

A Quckie

Quickie post here...

Got a great, really helpful comment on my previous post. I tried it... and it worked! Focusing on the a of soave made the other notes just sort of... bounce off into the right place. And so far I'm able to do it about 90% of the time.

I haven't been to my coach in a while. I really really REALLY have to call her. Hoping to start back up with her next week.

My lessons are getting better and better, just more and more fun plus more and more work, but GOOD work. My teacher has me going back to older pieces I've sung, to keep them fresh. And, I assume, for me to apply what I've learned since I last sang them.

And now... I must run and prepare for an ADVENTURE!!! Going to see Thirty Seconds to Mars tomorrow night about 3 hours north of here. It's supposed to snow/sleet/rain tomorrow so we're going up tonight. Pictures and a full report to follow of course!

Little Things

Sounding better and better after each lesson. Funny that.

The lesson takes place in my teacher's living room. A few weeks ago, instead of standing in one spot next to the piano, I decided to use more of the room. I mean it's not a huge room, but there is space in the middle with no furniture. And once I started doing that, I started sounding better. Suddenly I wasn't just standing there. Walking and moving somehow helps me to focus. I don't move the entire time, but I have given myself permission to not just be a statute next to the piano.

A couple of weeks ago my voice teacher's friend, also an opera singer/voice teacher, came to the lesson. He said he was amazed at the difference in my voice since the last time he heard me. He gave me some really good pointers. Sometimes they talked about me like I wasn't in the room! It was nice, it was all good.

Anyway, so once again it comes down to consistency. I am able to hit higher notes than I've ever dreamed possible (for me) but something inside me is afraid. Afraid of the note, afraid of having it sound wrong, afraid of something. I look back at my own history and see a pattern. When I was learning Una Donna a 15 anni I was afraid of the jump "finger ri=so... finger pia--nti" to the "so" and the "ti." The fear would cause me to close down on it and then I wouldn't be able to hit it. Now I have no problem with it. But here I am learning Ombra Mai Fu, (with that recit at the start, but I think I'm learning it in a slightly higher key than that, because I can do that one no prob but the low notes are a bit low for me) and there's a note at the end, the 2nd to last "soave piu" where the "piu" is a jump up to a note that I fear. I fear it, and I close down. I have to get over the fear and just do it. Sometimes I can hit it nicely. I can't (yet) hold it out as long as I'd like, or as long as I guess I'm supposed to, without closing down on it. So I'm hoping that I'll get over it, be able to do it, later while learning (and fearing) some new jump, wonder why I ever had trouble with it. At least I'm consistent with that...

The Songs and the Torches

Whew, finally time and energy to write in the blog!

Once again I'm participating in the holiday chorus at work. We've sung in both cafeterias and next week we'll sing at the conference center. We're singing songs in English, French, German, Italian, Latin, Hebrew, Yiddish, Ukrainian and Chinese. The Ukrainian is hard!! It's "Carol of the bells." Look at this video, not only to hear the song, but because the video is quite... entertaining. Luckily we all already know the tune because forget about the words. Most of the time I sort of fudge it. And I know I'm not the only one. Still sounds good though.

I'm trying out all sorts of different pieces with my voice teacher. She gave me a copy of "Ombra mai fu" in a higher key and we're working on that. We're also working on something called "The Green Dog," a very silly one, and a song cycle called, "I Hate Music." Not sure how I feel about that one yet. I think I prefer the older stuff.

In Mars news, Hurricane has been released. It's extremely controversial because it contains many scenes of sex and violence. And as I suspected, our marching scene didn't make it into the short version. Remember I said that we marched up stairs out of a sort of tunnel? I caught a screen shot of what they did end up using:

Just a few more seconds and you would see me. Of course, because of the content of the rest of the video it's not like I'd go around announcing, "Hey! Look at this video! I'm in it! No, not that scene. No, that's not me. Uh, no, not there..." If you do watch the video, let me warn you right now that it's not safe for work, kids, relatives or anyone else whom you wouldn't want to catch you watching it.

In other Mars news, I decided that I wanted to avoid waiting in the freezing cold all afternoon on the day of the concert in order to secure a spot up front, so I went ahead and purchased a "Golden Ticket," which is a VIP pass that includes a poster, a t-shirt, early entry to the venue and OH YEAH! A MEET AND GREET WITH THE BAND. And I will, of course, report that experience in full detail afterwards.

Spanish, Karaoke, Casting

I must apologize for the lack of blogging! I feel like life is just swirling sometimes and there's no time to sit and write. But that's just not true. So here I am, sitting and writing.

I had a voice lesson and a coaching since my last post. My teacher totally understood what I was talking about when I described the state of relaxed concentration I was in last week. I got there again at the coaching when we went over El Majo Discreto. My teacher would love for me to sing that at a future Opera Project recital because she says there are so few Spanish songs performed, plus she thinks it's good for my voice. I think so too. Now that I'm getting more confident with it, I'm starting to have fun with it.

Speaking of fun, I was unable to participate in last weekend's Opera Project recital because I was at the most amazing Halloween party, ever. Alcohol + karaoke = lots of silliness!! There are videos out there... if someone asks nicely I'll post a link as a reply to a comment.

In other news, apparently I'm being considered (or... possibly... have been cast????) for a part in a local composer's opera, for some future Opera Project date. It's all very mushy. Someone mentioned it offhand to me, "Oh, you'll be in that thing... maybe you'll play the part of my wife." So of course I'm all, "WHAT thing?" and then I learned that someone asked someone else if they thought I'd be interested in participating ... well YEAH!!!! And that's all I know. Not much. I haven't even thought about it that much because there's no info to think about. So instead I'll just wait, and maybe follow up with a "What ever happened with that opera thing..." if I don't hear anything in a few weeks.

Ok, fine. Here. Note to self: Step AWAY from the karaoke stage...

A Happy Place

Still coming down from my Hurricane high. Meanwhile, voice lessons and vocal coachings have continued.

I started Ombra Mai Fu. So so pretty. Here's Joyce DiDonato singing it. I can only daydream about sounding that beautiful. But I can make it pretty, I hope. I started it with my voice teacher on Tuesday, then I saw my vocal coach today. Today's "payment:" A giant chocolate chip cookie, decorated with frosting and little candy bars. So we went over If Music be the Food of Love, Se Tu M'ami and then Ombra mai fu. After going through it a couple of times she had me put the music down and go sit in a chair across the room. Then she played it and gave me the musical cues for when I should sing certain things. For example, hold out the opening note until the chord changes down, then go on. And so on, all different musical cues in the piano for when I should change what I'm singing. She also called out the words to me just before I sang them. Getting rid of the printed music was scary at first, but then it was liberating. Soon I was relaxing into the music and just letting it come out of me, while at the same time concentrating like mad to follow the cues. I was split into two levels. A super-relaxed, let-it-all-out level and a super-intense, concentrate-like-mad level. It was exhausting and exhilarating. And the time just flew by. It was one of the best coachings we've had so far. I'm in my happy place now.

Coaching with Cookies

Wow. All the excitement of my 30 Seconds to Mars adventure has kept me from blogging properly. And there is plenty of singing stuff to mention.

Last week I had my first ever vocal coaching with a lovely and talented woman who happens to live in my town. She' in her 80s and is very good friends with my teacher so she won't take money from any of the students my teacher refers to her. So before the coaching I picked up a half dozen of the most beautiful cupcakes from the bakery for her. I should have taken a picture of them.

The coaching was great. It was my first time hearing Lascia ch'io pianga with the piano. It's so beautiful! She gave me a lot of advice about the recit - we went over it about a thousand times. Each time she said, "Ok, just one more time..." Uh huh. And one more, and one more, and one more... and it was exactly what I needed. She talked about how the recit is talking, even though there are musical notes. It's talking. You phrase it like you're talking. We went over the phrasing a lot. You are not restricted to the meter or rhythm because it's not the music... it's talking. With music. She told me that in about 10 different ways until she was sure I understood. As I relaxed I was able to relax into the part and get the musical recit to sound like talking... talking that just happens to have notes behind it. I still have a lot of practicing to do but I might be slowly starting to get a grasp on the concept.

Then of course we worked on the aria. That, of course, is restricted to the music, and needs to have more legato than the recit. And with me, when I learn something new, my legato is the first thing to go, and then I have to work it back in.

Then on Sunday I had an Opera Project rehearsal. But before I go into that, let's back up to a week ago Saturday, when I jumped like mad during the Jared Leto Aerobics Hour (and a half) that was the 30 Seconds to Mars show. My back, it doesn't like jumping. No, not at all. It was already unhappy before the show, from all that standing around. Then, JumpJumpJumpJump!!! and then ... the next day... OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH. It has gotten progressively worse since then. On Sunday morning I gave in and took half a Demerol I had lying around from when I had a root canal. (c'mon, you all do it, you save the painkillers in case you need them again...) And then, I went to the rehearsal. Hoo boy. Not doing that again. Luckily, Husband drove. So I stagger up there (most of the stagger was from the pain) and explain to them that I am on Demerol, then I try to sing. Actually I did ok, except I was nervous and actually forgot the words. I know the words! I know them very well!! Except ... I forgot them. I was ok with keeping the voice on top of the airstream, but my legato left me. One of the men there came up and asked me if I'm embarrassed to let my belly poof out. Well hell yeah, I'm a woman, I keep that sucker sucked in as much and as often as I can. He urged me to let it out and really use it, to use all my breath and not just the last 15% residual air in my lungs. Duh. I know that. But I wasn't doing it. I blame the Demerol. I actually blamed it at the time. I promised I'd be sober next time. I actually said that. I know I shouldn't have. I was just embarrassed at how sucky I thought I sounded. Then they went on about what a beautiful voice I have and it's a very common problem among singers and I need to work on the legato and see you next week. Husband said I didn't sound as bad as I thought. Someone else in the church (we rehearse in a church) told me I sounded great. They didn't have to do that. But if all these people are telling me how nice I sound, why do I think I sound like a screech owl? As I stumble around on my low dose of narcotics? I tell ya, if there's a way for me to embarrass myself in a situation, I will find it and not only will I do it, I will do it well. Of course all I did was thank them for their help and for the compliments while at the same time thinking, "Holy crap, I suck, they're not going to let me sing, they're finding all this stuff wrong, they're lying about how I sound..." Hello, self-esteem? Are you on vacation this week?

Tomorrow I have another coaching. I'll have to stop by the bakery on my way. Maybe I'll get cookies this time - oooh I know - a linzer tart or two. They're pretty big and they are YUM. Hell maybe I'll get one for myself too, and eat it in the car on my way home so I won't have to share. Bwuaa haa haa.

On a completely unrelated note, sources indicate that Our Favorite Baritone, Nathan Gunn, will finally be singing Don Giovanni. According to this article it's set for some time in 2012 in Washington, DC. I'd almost consider combining a mini-vacation there with a road trip to see the Gunnster as the Don. Plenty of time to think/plan/obsess over that.

Cupola Man in the FLESH! Plus Opera in the Parking Lot!

Ok readers this isn't really opera related, but it sort of is because I did manage to sing a few bars and make some spoooooky ghost sounds...

I went to Atlantic City Saturday night to see Thirty Seconds to Mars!!!! I was there!!!!!!!!!! My cupola man (click the link and read to see what I'm talking about) was right in front of me!!!!!!

Ok, calming down to write now. Just remember, I may be 43 but I feel like I'm 14.

So you know from my last post how important Thirty Seconds to Mars has become for me. Their songs helped me fight all that anger and horror of the pedophiles linking to Alex's video and commenting about him. And after watching one live clip of the band after another on YouTube I realized that I had to see them live. I could not pass up on the opportunity to see them in Atlantic City, about 2 hours from here. Easy to say that now. At the time I waffled and waffled... no one I know wanted to come... I had no ticket... although I kept checking the website all day Friday and there were still tickets. Husband finally got tired of me saying, "Should I go? Should I go alone? How can I NOT go? But can I go alone?" and so on, which is stupid considering I go alone to operas, including flying halfway across the country, without a second thought. Finally he told me to cut it out and just GO already. Great!!! It was Friday night prob around 9. So I went online... all sold out. NOOOOOO!!!!!! I had finally decided to go!!!!! Then, serendipity. I look at Twitter... and lo and behold someone is offering an extra ticket to AC!!!! Another twitter user helped connect us and there it was!! Not only was I going, I suddenly had people to meet! Someone else offered to drive me, but they were staying over and it just seemed easier to drive myself. But... that meant more people to meet!!!

So... Fashion!! Just like with going to the opera, I had to decide what to wear. Decided that with the amount jumping I was seeing on these videos I should wear a top with a little extra support to help keep the "girls" in line. The only one I have with that extra panel in it is bright pink. Yes, I wore a bright pink top to a 30 Seconds to Mars show. Please don't tell anyone!! I'm so not a pink person! I wore black capri-ish pants and what I call my zoo shoes, because the first time I wore them was to the Philadelphia Zoo. They are blue plaid wool sneakers and I love them so shut up. And of course I wore earrings, a pair that I've worn to the opera, just because. Just because I wanted to wear something shiny and rhinestoney. And the socks... well, I took them from Alex's drawer. Yes, he's 6 and I'm wearing his socks. With all that I brought this horribly bright orange string bag. I was fashion in motion.

Saturday morning I was so excited I could barely contain myself. I went down in the afternoon and got there at about 3. I hooked up with the woman who had the extra ticket, then we wandered around and made our way to the line for the theater. Or whatever you call it. Venue. It was in a casino. Talk about sensory overload: I spend two hours in the car, yeah with music playing, but still... then wander through a quiet parking deck, stand in a quiet elevator and suddenly burst out onto a casino floor with loud music, flashing lights, bells and people everywhere going in every direction. I wanted to just shut down. It made me wonder if that's what things are like for Alex when he just collapses to the floor sometimes. But anyway we got into the line and I did get a chance to sort of shut down as I snoozed on my ugly bright orange bag. Before long some of the other people from twitter found me and it was like one big party waiting on line to go in. I met so many wonderful people and had to keep trying to remember real names with twitter names to keep track of who was who. I was scared about being near the front of the crowd and everyone assured me that it'll be fine, it's the best place to be, sure it's a little squishy but it's worth it. Well... they were right!! But I'm getting ahead of myself. We got on line at about 3. Doors opened at 7. We went to the front toward the left side of the stage and were about 3 rows from the very front. And there we stood. The opening act came on at 8. They were loads of fun, long hair swinging around and fun, clever songs. They finished at about 8:40 or so. Then we kept standing... and waiting... the anticipation building... and building. I thought I would explode. I was ready to burst. Seriously. I was. I kept telling anyone who would listen. Finally, at about 10 after 9, the lights dimmed and the show began!! (NSFW Warning: Jared Leto curses like a sailor. And that's how we like him.) And as usual, the blogger format cuts off the video, so click through to YouTube to see it all.

Yes, I go to operas. And I go to 30 Seconds to Mars shows and jam myself into the front to see my cupola man right there. Four feet away from me. And he's not 2 inches tall. He's REAL!!! The singer in me can't help but notice he didn't sing the high notes, but let the audience do it for him. I didn't realize it at the time. Now I totally want to give him some private voice lessons - get that voice on top of the air Jared, and drop your jaw, and use your breath, let those high notes ring out! Do you think he'd let me? I believe that he can actually reach the notes, but not while jumping around like the maniac he is. We all jumped. I jumped and jumped and made a few very jumpy videos, most of which I'll link to here.

Now I just have to post a small aside here, because I realized as I wrote that we got there at 3 and the show started soon after 9... when I went into labor with Alex I got to the hospital at 3 and gave birth at about 10 minutes after 9. The same amount of time, and while of course you can't really compare the two experiences, I will because it's my blog and I can do what I want. There was back pain, there was anticipation, there was nervousness, there was back pain. There was no baby on Saturday night - instead there was the most adrenaline-pumping, exciting evening of my life!!! As opposed to the "thank God THAT'S over" feeling of giving birth and not being in labor anymore... The excitement and energy in that room was palpable. It really was. And the guys in the band radiate charisma. Jared Leto is amazing. I'm not talking about his physical beauty (ok, maybe a little) but his presence. It's electrifying. And he's funny. And at the same time he's just normal. Like he goes from being this huge presence to just a regular guy, joking and talking, and then suddenly it's like he's preaching and everyone is worshipping. That's not exactly it... I'm having trouble finding the words. It's almost like the entire show was a religious experience. You can't not look, you can't not participate - the energy and excitement just sweeps you along and it's the most awesome feeling in the world. And the man can sing!!! No, it's not opera. It's all in a lower register. In fact I noticed that they transposed many of the songs into lower keys for the live performance. I sing along an octave above in the car all the time - my muscles know where to go to hit the right notes - so I was a bit messed up when I lapsed into singing along during the show. So I gave it up and just sang down low. And trilled, and whooped, and cheered, and yelled along with everyone else. And jumped!!! It's not like I even had a choice. I was fine in the Very Crowded front until about the 5th song or so when he told everyone to take 3 giant steps forward. Did I mention that it was already Very Crowded? Suddenly I was a sardine, a short sardine in a can of long tall sardines with elbows in my face and people packed all around. The guy in front of me was hugely tall and as excited as everyone else. I thought for sure I was going to be crushed. After about a minute of this wild press of jumping people I had to get out - I was starting to panic! So I made my way to the side and stayed just at the edge of where the crowd started to get rowdy. I was in a good position to help pull out other people who stumbled out to escape the press of people, plus I could dance and jump and go wild without fear of bodily harm.

So here's another video I made before I escaped. Another video I made while jumping... Dude knows how to work the crowd with that insane pause in the middle.

Here's another jumping jumpy video:

And here's another. I had to stop filming because the jumping was so jumpity jump jump that I needed both hands to protect my face from the elbows around me.Not fun being only 5 feet tall in a crowd like this.

For the rest, go to my YouTube page.

So I hung out at the edge of the rowdiness and slowly eased my way back in, and ended up very close to where I started out. My camera card was full and the videos I took with my phone sound AWFUL. The speaker couldn't handle the volume. In fact, one of the videos I took came out with no sound. Looks pretty good, though. I was sad/bummed/disappointed that I wasn't up in the press (yet still relieved) when Jared came down into the crowd. Wanted so badly to be there and was so very glad not to be in there. Can I arrange a private show for just me and my twitter friends? So we can all be wild without the claustrophobia? Husband's theory is that they like to see how far they can push the crowd to do stuff - like they're a little masochistic. Could be. Don't really care. They make it so you WANT to do what they say. It's scary, sort of. But it's not just that. It's the music. It's so full. It surrounds you. You just give yourself up to it and let it wash over you. The lyrics are great, if at times a little teenagery-earnest. But I eat it all up. I love it. And obviously I'm not the only one.

One of the best aspects of it, for me, was hearing and singing along with all the songs that I listened to after those pedophile bastards wrote about Alex on their message boards. It was such a great release to just scream RUN AWAY I'LL ATTACK and all the others, at the top of my lungs, with hundreds of others. It was truly cathartic. So intense. I actually feel a lot better.

After the show we milled about being silly. Jammed ourselves into a photo booth for a picture:

(see the hot pink top?)

Then we hung out on the boardwalk where I met more people that I "knew" from Twitter, even called a tattoo place to check on their hours for someone who had gotten the band to autograph her arm with a Sharpie, but she was eating greasy cheese fries and couldn't touch her phone. That was pretty funny b/c I put on my mom/teacher voice, "Hi, could you please tell me what time you're open til? And what time do you open tomorrow?" and the guy was like Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times, "Uh... 12. Maybe one." Duuuude thanks. I hope you're not the one holding the needle tonight. Not that I'd ever get a tattoo for so many reasons, the main one being not liking pain, and next being I'd never be able to decide what I want on me forever. So I'm happy looking at other people's tattoos.

Then Braxton Olita, who plays keyboards in the band, came out with his guitar and played a few songs on the beach. He was on a live chat last night where I was able to tell him I sing opera and was at the show. He commented on it so now he knows, there was an opera singer at the show Saturday night! But I digress... Meanwhile, a few of us ran over to where the tour buses were b/c the guys usually come out to chat with people. Well me missed Jared by like a minute. We were actually running (did I mention yet that I'm 43 going on 14?) and could see the bus and the crowd and hear the screaming. Then chunks of people were leaving as we got there. Grrr. I heard that he was really nice, telling people to follow their dreams and so on. Very inspirational. He talked about some of that during the show too. But then Shannon, the drummer, came out. He signed autographs and was super sweet. And small!! I mean, really muscular, but much tinier than I imagined. I guess he just looks larger on stage. They all loom large but appear petite in person. While he was signing Jared came out again carrying a cup with his hand over it. He ran over to Shannon and threw the contents of the cup at him. I heard later it was a bug. Ah brothers. I'm not the only 14 year old adult in the world.

We all hung out for a while longer and someone suggested we make a human triad. A little background: The band has these glyph symbols and the triad is a triangle with an extra line part way up. People make the triad out of candles and other things. We made this one out of ... people. See me in there? Near the point, hot pink shirt, long red hair? The other pictures in that flikr set are from that night. You must all go look even though they have absolutely nothing to do with opera.

Then we all chatted a little more before I decided a little before 1 that seeing as how I had a 2 hour drive ahead of me I should probably hit the road. During the goodbyes I found out that someone else likes opera, I sang a few bars of Lascia ch'io pianga, made some ghosty spooky operatic trills and off I went, back through the labyrinthine casino to find my way to the elevator to the parking deck. Then of course I got lost in Atlantic City and while, sure, it's cute to be on all the streets from Monopoly, it's not so cute to be lost in Atlantic City. Miraculously I had gotten onto a street that lead directly to the highway I needed, so all was good, and two hours later I stumbled out of the car and up my front steps.

This weekend was so intense, intense the way Rape of Lucretia was intense. I am so glad I went. I can't believe I went. But I did. I went. It was insane, it was, as everyone kept saying, epic. Epic was the word of the day. I want more, more, more... in spite of the pain I still feel in my back from all that standing, and the sleep deprivation and the sheer terror of being trapped in the crowd. I want to do it again!!! I met so many awesome people. I had a blast.

So today I had a voice lesson. I told my teacher all about the weekend. She's 71, by the way, and she gets a huge kick out of me. She loves that I just go out and live life rather than sit home and wonder and regret. She is the same type of person. She told me about being Debbie Harry's voice teacher and going to a few Blondie shows in New York and understanding how crazy it can be up front by the stage. She also told me about the time David Bowie asked her to dance and she didn't know who he was. Also she sang a duet with some guy from Foreigner. I showed her this picture (yes, yes I did!!) and of course she thought it was hilarious. She knows he's the man I sing to in the cupola in her painting. She said I should write him a letter and tell him he has inspired me to be a better opera singer. She was serious. I have no idea how to do that, so I twittered it to him. My "letter," in under 140 characters, including spaces:

@jaredleto Atl City was my first Mars show - I'M HOOKED! My opera singing is improving in part thanks 2 yr inspiration. Thx 4 that! ~Susan

Do you think I'll get a RT? I doubt it... but there you go. (RT = Retweet, a form of reply on twitter.) I don't think there are any characters left in my message for a RT unless he cuts some of it out. And that is way too much trouble for someone with over 250,000 followers. Do you think I'm the only opera singer in the Mars Army?

There is so much more to tell about the weekend. I'm sure I'll remember it all after I publish the post. But I think this is enough to give you all an idea of the sheer...EPICNESS of the adventure!!!