No Fear!

Normally I don’t make new year’s resolutions, but this year I did make just one: Don’t fear the high notes. There are notes that I can comfortably hit and sustain, but for some reason when they turn up with certain words in a song, or in a certain jump from another note, I swallow them. Why? Fear. For some reason I’ve been afraid of sounding screechy or flat or just plain wrong. But that fear was causing me to close up, which of course then makes the note screechy or flat or wrong. So from now on my motto is, don’t fear the high notes.

I've been missing my previous voice teacher a lot lately.  I can imagine what she'd tell me to do when the notes don't come out the way I want them to. Sometimes I can hear her voice in my head, telling me to lift lift lift my voice on top of the air, aim between my eyes, and so on.

 

I’m working on The Sun Whose Rays are All Ablaze, from the Mikado. There’s one note that under any other circumstance I have ZERO problems with, but here for some reason I have a mental block. I think it’s due to the consonants. The note is on the words, “our worth” and “awake.” I think the W is messing me up. And let’s not even talk about the R in “worth.” In fact, let’s forget it exists. The K in “awake,” too. Doing the W and then the R or K has been my downfall. Sure I want to have good pronunciation, but the phrase is repeated a moment later in notes that I sing just fine. It’s more important to keep a beautiful, round, rich open tone than to worry about pronouncing these two words perfectly. When I stuck that idea into my head, suddenly I could sing the notes! Such a simple solution. I just need to practice, practice, practice so that I do it correctly every time.

At yesterday’s voice lesson there were a few other people in the house, so for me it was a chance to practice singing in front of people. I definitely felt a little self-conscious. But after a little while I got used to it. I told my teacher how well I can sing in the shower and she suggested I keep that relaxed shower attitude whenever I sing. Except, keep my clothes on. Obviously.

She actually feels I’ve progressed enough to sing with the Opera Project main stage again. I’m not sure how to even bring that up with the director. I did ask him if they plan on having Wing singers in any main stage concerts this year, but they haven’t planned that far ahead yet. Then he told me that the Wing is planning to do scenes from Marriage of Figaro this Spring. To me, that’s pretty much a message to stay with the Wing. So for now I’ll just wait.

 

There’s actually no news on any upcoming Wing concerts for the library series. However, I learned that the showcase concert in May is going to be a little different this year. In the past, they assigned roles for a few scenes, and also had people sing arias or art songs. This time around they’re having auditions. I’ve been working on Marcelina’s part in the duet “Via resti servita” and I (personally) think that would be a fun one to do. But as much as I’d love to be in a scene, the reality of the situation is, I can’t attend a whole bunch of regular rehearsals, what with working full time, having a young kid who’s in swimming, baseball and sometimes soccer, etc. It’s also hard for me to find the time to learn the recit. I asked them if there’d be any possibility of a “park and bark” as I like to call it, to see if I can sing an aria or art song, but they said that Figaro will pretty much take up the entire program. So unless I get a part that’s just me running on stage and singing, I might not be able to participate. That makes me sad, especially because my former teacher created the Wing for people like me, to get practice singing in front of an audience. I don’t have a future goal of being a professional opera singer. I just like to sing. I kind of feel like a scenes-only show (consisting of mainly high-school students) excludes people like me – adults with a full time job and a family — and therefore goes against my former teacher’s intention when she created the group. But the group has evolved, as groups do, and there’s nothing I can do about it except continue to ask if I can do an aria. And I'll audition for the concert when the time comes. Hopefully it will all work out. Meanwhile, I’ll keep on studying. And who knows what other performance opportunities might crop up.

Back on the Horse

I still have the recording of my last lesson with my voice teacher from March on my iphone. About 2 weeks ago I was finally able to listen to it without crying. I actually sang along and felt happy. I realized I was ready to study again.

About the same time, I learned that The Opera Project was presenting a memorial concert for my voice teacher in October. I emailed the director with the idea in my head that if I don't ask if I can participate, I definitely won't be participating. If I do ask, there's a chance he'll say yes. And he did. I actually got a little weepy when I got his reply, saying that he's sure she would have wanted me to perform. So I'll sing Sposa son Disprezzata.

Next, I realized that I really do need to get some lessons in between now and then, because I've lost some of the breath control, legato and other good singing habits. So I got a few recommendations, contacted one of the teachers and we set up a trial lesson. That lesson was yesterday and it went really well! It turns out that he was at the Opera Project Wing concert where I sang Sposa. So he's heard me sing, he knows what I can do, he knows where I need work and also... he knew my voice teacher.

In the middle of this lesson I was internally freaking out thinking that there's no way I'll be ready to sing this song by October 18. Typical. And like my other voice teachers, he did a great deal of psychotherapy along with the regular voice lesson stuff.

I cried a little on the way home, because I miss my (late) voice teacher so much. I can't even. I'm getting weepy just typing this. But today I listened to yesterday's lesson, and practiced, and I can already hear an improvement in how I'm singing. So hopefully I'll make her proud. Now I will add her to the ranks of people I love who are no longer here, who I imagine come to the concerts to hear me sing.

One more thing about this October 18th concert: It's going to be broadcast live on a local radio station. They have a website with a link to listen online. NO PRESSURE. Zoinks.

Double Cross-Dressing

Once again I find myself apologizing for the huge gap in posting. Last month was a little hectic, but things have finally calmed down enough for me to catch up. And guess what? I sang in a concert and I’m actually not disgusted with my performance! I mean, yeah, of course I hear all the mistakes, but I’m pretty pleased for the most part. Here, decide for yourself.



And yes, as you see, this is my “alternate” youtube account, because once again EMI has made copyright claims on the 30 Seconds to Mars videos I posted. I filed the same response as I did last time. If/when my Luindriel account is reinstated, I’ll quickly change the descriptions on all the Mars videos.

But back to the concert. I played Cherubino in drag in another scene, dressed as a girl from the village bringing flowers to the Countess. That was fun because I got to act, hiding behind other girls while they shoved me to the front, and then they spun me down the line to end the song with me presenting the flowers to the Countess on the last beat of the music.

I also sang in the chorus for scenes from Die Fledermaus, Madame Butterfly, Dido & Aeneas and The Mikado. If videos of any of those scenes show up anywhere, I’ll post links.

An Interlude to my Interlude

Lots going on here! YouTube reinstated my page, hooray! And I'm doing scenes and an aria at an upcoming Opera Project Wing concert. But more on all that later. I'm breaking my (unintentional) posting interlude with something I haven't done in a very long time... A Gunn Interlude.

Here Nathan talks about his top 5 shirtless roles. He seems to be smeared with mud and blood alot.



Note his reversal of barihunk into hunkatone. Somehow "hunkatone" has a slightly different meaning to me than "barihunk," and it actually does seem to more accurately describe him.

And here's another topic on which Mr. Gunn and I agree: His view on Opera vs "Popera." I have had, while not quite arguments, let's call them... heated discussions, with people, on why Andrea Bocelli is not really an opera singer, nor are any of those contestants on the many singing reality shows out there who choose to squawk out an aria when it's their turn to compete. It's not that these people don't have talent. They do! But they couldn't get on stage and sing an opera, without a mic.

So yeah, speaking of getting on stage and singing, I'll be singing Voi che sapete and also doing the Cherubino cross-dressing scene in the upcoming Opera Project "Artist Development Wing" concert. Basically it's me and 15 teenagers. The youngest is I believe 13. We are all singing in the chorus for scenes from Die Fledermaus, The Mikado, Dido & Aeneas and Madam Butterfly. We have actual staging and everything. I'll report more on that... eventually.

Whirlywind

The days are just flying by!

I sang in the first Opera Project Wing performance last week. I sang two songs – Nel cor piu non mi sento and Voi che sapete. I did ok, but would you believe I actually FORGOT THE WORDS at one point? I fudged it and no one seemed to notice. People who know Voi che sapete will know where I made up a word. Hey at least the vowel was the same. And a few people actually approached me afterwards to compliment my voice and say how much they liked my performance. That was nice! I'm always so surprised when that happens. All I hear are mistakes, so I always assume that people are just being nice. But I also know they wouldn't approach me and say that just to be nice. So it's pretty cool!

The voice lesson following that recital I was lucky enough to have two teachers at once. Sometimes they talked about me like I wasn’t there. I was fine with that. I learned a lot about breath and legato line and how to really incorporate the two. Like my voice teacher says, sometimes you just need a different person to explain the concept to you a different way in order for you to get it. So I’ll see her today for a lesson, then I’ll be seeing the other teacher later in the week.

Then… on Friday. FINALLY! L’Elisir D’amore at the Met!! Juan Diego Florez. Ahhhh. And then on Sunday, another recital, where I plan to tackle Ombra mai fu. Then I'll write all about both adventures, hopefully while they're still both fresh in my mind.

From Singer to Winger

Well, it was good while it lasted. The peeps in charge of the Opera Project have changed the focus of the group, to a more professional type of group, featuring people who have or are on their way to a career in opera. Makes sense - this way they can get more donations, more patrons, etc. I’ve known all along that I’m not in that league. The good news is, they’re creating a “wing” program for people like me – people with a halfway decent voice who want experience performing. They’re planning on holding 1 or 2 concerts a year. So eventually I will get to perform again… just not any time soon. It is sort of a kick in the gut when I get the press release emails about upcoming concerts … but I know it’s not a personal kick. To add a twist of irony to all this… Due to a miscommunication, I wasn’t informed that I wouldn’t be performing in the September concert, so I showed up for the rehearsal. Awkward… yeah. So anyway I got there at 2. A photographer from a local newspaper was there to take a picture to accompany the print version of this article. The people who actually were performing, including the accompanist, hadn’t arrived yet. The photographer had to leave, so I ended up singing while one of the founders/teachers sort of accompanied me. I say sort of, because I’m singing a different version of Nel Cor than the one in the Italian Aria book, but he knew the one from the book, so that’s the one he played. I plugged along singing the version I know while the photographer snapped away. Luckily you can’t hear in a photograph. So…I got my picture in the paper as a singer for the Opera Project…







...when actually I’ve been moved (let’s not say “lowered” ok?) to the Wing program. Story of my life. From Singer to Winger. My teacher told me of some other local, amateur performance groups in the area so I might check them out. The more confident I get, the more likely the chance that I’ll eventually maybe be back on the regular roster.

A Paying Gig!

Whew. Finally I'm not totally embarrassed by a performance. I say not TOTALLY because of course there's always something that makes me cringe. Like in this past performance, finally, finally, I didn't crack and I kept my voice on top of the air, for the most part. But then…why was I channeling Stevie Wonder? I mean, he's blind…he doesn't know that people don't usually waggle back and forth when they sing. I have no excuse. But I'm getting ahead of myself here.

There was no rehearsal with the accompanist before this concert, and I was singing something that we hadn't practiced before, so I actually took a photo of the music and emailed it to the accompanist. Then I went up an hour and a half early to run through it with him before the show.

I wore the same cocktail dress and hot pink feather hairband that I wore to the last concert:

But I waited until I got to the venue to pull on the restrictive, flesh-squashing underwear. Wouldn't you?

Before the concert began, one of the guys gave me a pep talk. He said he wanted to work on me with my self-esteem - that I'm just as good as everyone else in the group and to just get out there and have fun. He kept telling me how far I've come in just a year and how gutsy that is. It doesn't FEEL gutsy. It just is what it is. But he was right, as I watched the other performers that night I realized that I was on par with them.

Before I sang I invoked the presence of all my dead, opera-loving relatives - my grandfather, an aunt and an uncle. I was focusing on my aunt mostly, but I swear I felt like my grandfather bumped into my right side. It sounds crazy. Probably just wishful thinking. I mean, I was thinking actively about them, and then it felt like he was there, to my left. I don't have that feeling now. I'm trying to feel it as I type this. It's not there. So who knows. I'm the biggest skeptic there is so I don't even believe myself.

So here we go, Sento nel Core, by Donaudy:

So my next goal is to work on STANDING STILL!!!

After we all sang, the owner of the winery gave us each two bottles of wine! My first paid gig. Paid in wine... that works for me.

Then I got in the car, pulled off the flesh-compressing underwear and drove home.

Now I have the whole summer to build up a little rep... maybe I'll be able to sing TWO pieces at a concert next season.

Just the Facts, Ma'am

The Opera Project has a concert on Saturday, May 7 at 2, to celebrate some important birthdays in the company. Last week I noticed on the website that my name wasn't listed as one of the singers, although my teacher and I had discussed me singing there and I was preparing Ombra mai fu. So my first thought was, I guess they don't want me singing there after all. Then I gave myself a mental slap and thought, They may not know that you're interested. Because even though my teacher is one of the founders and all that, it's someone else who sets the programs for the concerts. So I sent him a text asking if there was room for me in the program because I'd like to sing, and he said yes. Like, pretty much immediately. Which was nice. I mean, if he didn't want me singing he could have said that there was no room, right? Of course the rehearsal was the same day as the 30 Seconds to Mars concert in Camden, which made me really nervous about the timing since I was getting picked up at my house at 2, and the rehearsal started at 1 about 30 minutes north of where I live. I did end up getting to sing first, and was done pretty quickly, but I didn't do as well as I hoped. And I know it's just a rehearsal, but it's daunting… I was actually shaking. Because the truth is I'm still intimidated by the talent of all the other singers, and I still marvel at how very fortunate I am that I sing with this group. And I was a little embarrassed singing because they are all so good. I know it's silly, and I know that they wouldn't let me sing with the group at all if I wasn't good enough, but that doesn't stop that little nagging voice that tells me I'm not good enough. So anyway I got home in time and the concert was great (another post for that!) but then the next day I got a voicemail message… and before I write about that I must say they are the nicest people ever, and that no matter how this may come across in print here on the blog, this was relayed to me in the nicest, gentlest and most friendly way. They said that they think I'm not quite ready to sing Ombra mai fu, that it's a bit too sophisticated for me. But I can sing Se tu m'ami again, and then maybe think about Ombra mai fu for the following concert on June 11. So of course THAT got me wondering just how bad I really sounded at that rehearsal...although they did still suggest that I sing... Also there's a birthday party after Saturday's concert, and I can sing it there. Truthfully, I'm not upset about not being able to sing Ombra mai fu at the concert. I'm still thrilled that I have the opportunity to sing again, and I'll get more practice doing the same song in front of an audience and so on. But the embarrassment… oy. I'm embarrassed that those ten people sat there in that little church chapel listening to me sing… and then decided that no, I shouldn't sing that song. I mean it's a GOOD thing. Better to be embarrassed there, in a safe place, than in front of a paying audience. But still… I don't even want to tell anyone about this. Even though it's not such a big deal. It's taking up a large amount of space in my head right now, space that should be filled with happy thoughts, not embarrassed thoughts. I'm hoping that by blogging it, it'll leave and I'll be able to move back to the happy high I was experiencing after the 30 Seconds to Mars concert… which I'll post about shortly.

So, to sum up: For a while I was feeling kind of dejected and embarrassed, but I'm back to grateful. I am so grateful for this opportunity to sing. At what point will I ever feel like I fit in?

Rainy Day Crack

My previous voice teacher told me that no matter how much you practice and prepare, if something goes "wrong" in a performance it's never the thing you expect it to be. That info came to mind the other day after performing "Se tu m'ami" at the Opera Project concert this past weekend.

I'm not usually a pessimistic type of person, but looking back at the evening…

• It was pouring rain. POURING.
• When I got in the car I noticed a bunch of CDs had slipped through the passenger seat cushions to the floor below Alex's seat, where they appear to had been stepped on. I scooped them up and put them in a little tote bag I found laying there.
• When I got to the green room (really a preschool classroom in a building adjacent to the church where the performances take place) there was NO ONE THERE. In reality that's a good thing, because I did some warm-ups, tried to tame my hair, etc. But I was a little concerned… WHERE THE HELL WAS EVERYONE? DID I HAVE THE WRONG DAY? Turns out that because of the rain, everyone else went straight to the church.
• Because of the rain, there were more singers than audience members. We sat in the audience when we weren't singing, to make it look fuller.
• Before I performed I went into the "backstage" office to change into my shoes. Things are piled up there, hoarding-style. I knocked into a precariously balanced tray and sent a box of stationery tumbling out and all over the place.
• My shoes felt strange… because I had put them on the wrong feet. Corrected that immediately.
• My panty hose kept rolling down every time I stood up. No one could see but I could feel it.
• I realized I never had agreed on a signal with the accompanist to begin. He started as soon as I got on stage. I was hoping for a moment to take a deep breath and center myself. Did so during the musical introduction.
• I didn't sing it as well as I know I can. I lost the air pressure, gulped on a word and then actually had a huge crack near the end.
• I bowed and smiled but felt like crying. I disappointed myself and felt like I let my teacher down, although she didn't feel that way at all.
• When I opened the passenger side car door to put my bag in, the little tote bag of CDs fell out and most of the CDs slid under the car. Did I mention it was pitch black and soaking wet out?

Apparently everyone else thought I did great. I guess I do hear the mistakes and the potential for improvement more than anyone else does.

Judge for yourself:

I'm not trying to be an overly-dramatic drama-llama here. It's just that, I know the potential sound I can produce, so I'm disappointed when I don't. Consistency, that's what I want.

On the plus side, during the performance of one of the singers after me, the pianist was missing a page of the music, and it took them a few tries to figure out just what the heck was going on. Plus he sang beautifully, and there was a huge thunderclap during a dramatic pause. So it's all good. My crack? Forgotten. By all but me.

Comte Ory in Multiples of Three

Saturday was packed with opera! I had a rehearsal for an upcoming Opera Project recital at 3. We got there promptly at 3:00 and I'm proud to say I think I sang pretty well! I did the song twice because my teacher arrived halfway through the first time. Then we all chatted briefly with the director. I told him that we were on our way into NYC to see Le Comte Ory, and who was in it. Well. He told me that the O.P. is planning on doing some sort of benefit next year for some sort of vocal award (can't remember the particulars of any of it) and happens to be an award that both Juan Diego Florez and Joyce DiDonato have won. And there's a slight slight infinitesimal chance that they would actually be at the event. I mean, let's be realistic. It's highly unlikely. Highly. But just the idea that there's even the slightest, less-than-1% chance that they could be there… OH.MY.GOD. Just the idea is leaving me floating in my happy place. And then off Husband and I went to see them in NYC.

We drove in and got there an entire hour before our restaurant reservation. We wandered around a little and then ducked into Bar Boulod for drinks.

The pink drink is some fabulous mixture of blood orange and absinthe. The other is kumquat and I don't recall what kind of alcohol. They were both yum.

Then we went to Rosa Mexicana where I had a mango laden drink and Husband had an uber-fancy margarita. Then he had a pear something with cinnamon simple syrup that I drank most of.

He ended with a glass of "sipping" tequila and I had a coffee with Kahlua, tres leches and Kahlua mousse. And that's just the drinks. The food was YUM. We ended up with their famous guac for two, then we shared a bunch of appetizers as our meal. Everything was delicious, PLUS we had room for dessert: The most scrumptious flan ever, with a scoop of absolutely delectable chocolate mole sorbet that was just TO DIE FOR.

We stumbled across the street to the Met where I bought myself a wind-up Nunzilla that spits fire!!! Look! I also got a Magic Flute flipbook, which Alex at first rejected but then later looked through and now loves.

We got to our seats with plenty of time to hit the restroom.

View from the seats:

And now, the opera itself.

Very loosely, the story line is, the men have gone off to fight in the Crusades. Their wives have vowed to live as widows until they return. The countess isn't married but her brother is one of the crusaders so she decides to live as a widow too. So they're all (allegedly) chaste and in mourning. The Count Ory, who happens to be in love with the countess, but apparently not THAT much, sees this opportunity to help "console" all these lonely women so he runs off with his assistant and comes to the village disguised as an old wise hermit, complete with long hair and a long beard. His assistant totes him as this mystical guy who can grant them blessings, etc. So he comes in and all the women are fawning all over him. Everyone lines up to ask him for blessings. He is all, come back to my hovel with me and I'll comfort and bless you all. Then along comes Isolier, his page. This is a trouser role played by Joyce DiDonato (who tweeted me back during intermission when I tweeted her a photo of my view of the stage!) So of course the hermit/count recognizes the page, but the page doesn't recognize his boss. He too is in love with the countess. The countess has asked for an audience with the hermit because she's so depressed. Isolier suggests that the hermit counsel the countess to fall in love with Isolier to help lift her depression. Isolier also tells the hermit of his idea to sneak into the castle dressed as a nun. So of course the count is all pissed off that Isolier is his rival, and of course he steals his idea. The countess comes, he counsels her, she falls in love with Isolier, there's all this confusion typical of Rossini and then the hermit removes his hair, beard and raggedy shift to reveal that he's actually the count. Everyone is royally pissed off, they chase each other around in circles, etc. End of Act 1.

Zipped out to the balcony for some fresh air:

Act 2 takes place in the Countess' castle. It begins with a terrible thunderstorm, complete with pyrotechnics on stage - they used some sort of arc-creating device like a welding tool to create the lightning, it was really cool. So all the ladies in the castle are freaked by the storm, then there's a knock on the door - it's a bunch of nuns who claim they have been harassed by the count. Except… it IS the count and his knights. We have an absolutely ridiculous scene where the count, dressed as a nun, thanks the countess for saving them… and gets very, very friendly. The countess is like, what the… why is this nun behaving this way… meanwhile… the count's assistant, dressed as a nun, has broken into the wine cellar and brought the nun-knights plenty of bottles. And I have to say that nothing pleased me more than to see Juan Diego Florez dressed in a nun's habit, spinning happily in the middle of the stage, habit flying out. The nuns-knights proceed to get trashed. Every time a woman from the castle came by they pretended to pray, but it was more and more difficult for them the more they had to drink. They sang, they danced, they formed a kick line. It was hilarious.

Then by far the best scene… Isolier gains entrance to the castle. When he learns that a group of nuns is there, he realizes that the count has stolen his idea and it's actually all men. Oh the horror, oh the scandal!! Isolier pledges to protect the Countess. They figure the count will try to sneak into her bed that night so Isolier stays with her. And of course he does, pretending to be the nun and claiming to be scared and unable to sleep. What ensues is confusing and hilarious. He gets into bed with them and somehow (perhaps because he's drunk??) doesn't realize that Isolier is there. So the three of them are pretty much all over each other. Isolier tells the countess (who at this point knows it's the count and not a nun) that if it makes the count happy, why not let him caress her? Yowza baby! It was quite interesting to watch, and watching through binocs gave it an added touch of voyeurism that opera is known for. They were seriously all over each other. Hands on legs, diving under her dress, snarfling each other and so on. It was this bizarre sensual mixture of, are we watching a woman with two guys (Countess, Page and Count) or a guy with two women (Juan Diego, Joyce and Diana)? At the end the husbands return and the count I guess gives up.

The singing was, of course, spectacular. At some points Juan Diego was a bit hard to hear. Diana Damrau… what a treat to hear her sing. Those high notes…WOW!! She seemed to have a little trouble with a few of them but for the most part she was spot on. And Joyce DiDonato…adorable. ADORABLE!

After intermission the people next to us didn't return to their seats so we got to spread out a little. Did they leave or simply move to other empty seats? Who knows…

Here are some videos the Met posted on their YouTube page, taken at the dress rehearsal... including the Menage a trois from act 2. As usual, if the blogger format cuts the video edge, click through to YouTube to see it.

Desperation!

Still have to sell my extra Le Comte Ory tickets. Desperate to sell them, actually. I have them listed on Ebay AND Stub Hub. I have a sign up at work. I've posted it to the electronic "for sale" board at work. I've touched base with the guy who bought my Sonnambula tickets like 3 years ago. I've checked Craigslist. I've posted it multiple times to Twitter and Facebook. So far, nothing.

Luckily, I'm going to NYC on Monday to see this. Conveniently, it's located next door to the Met Opera. Also conveniently, as a subscriber I can exchange tickets up to a week prior to a performance. So if they don't sell by then, I'll exchange them for Rigoletto in May. I will continue to try to sell them, but if I can't, then I'll go. Husband will go too if we can find a babysitter. But hopefully, since people have actually heard of Rigoletto, I'll be able to sell the tickets.

On the singing front, I've been asked to perform with The Opera Project in recitals on April 16 and May 7th. Hm but thinking about that, will I be able to make the rehearsals? Going to see Comte Ory on Sat the 2nd, which means taking a train at about 3:30. Will be in Florida on Saturday the 9th. The 7th is a week after the 30 Seconds to Mars concert. Depending on what time I'm heading to Camden, I should be able to make that rehearsal. If I go first… but maybe there'll be one on April 23. I can make that day. I wish that were the day of the April recital. I can make a rehearsal the Saturday before, no problem.

Whew. It's fun to be busy but not when my busy-ness interferes with my availability to perform.

So… who wants to by the opera tickets?? Anyone? Send me an email by Sunday, March 20 - luindriel@gmail.com - and we can make a deal.

Reporting In and Getting Excited!

Reporting in!!

Opera Project Recital was November 13. There are still a few shrieky, straight-out-of-my-mouth moments, but overall I think it's ok. I was feeling a little intimidated because all the other women who sang are absolutely fabulous.



The venue was interesting. It's a winery, hence the wine you can see in the video. And it's a castle, hence the wall hangings and chandeliers. Our "green room" was a conference room upstairs, through a gift shop/museum type area. Singing there was odd because there was pretty much no echo so it was hard to hear yourself.

There was no food there, and I hadn't eaten since lunch, so afterwards a friend and I went out for dinner. (Husband was home with Alex.) Oh also we got our picture taken for some newspaper... just did a quick search and can't find anything online.

Then a few days later I sang in the talent show for work. This was held in a theater at a local college campus. We had a rehearsal earlier that day and they asked me if I wanted a stool and where did I want the microphone?

Me: No stool, and I don't need a mic.
Them: No really, where do you want the mic?
Me: I don't use a mic.
Them: Don't you want to be heard?
Me: I'll be heard.
Another one of them, joking: She doesn't want to be heard.

Then, I sang.

"Oh. You don't need a mic."
"Yeah, I know."



Husband made this video. I really wish he had kept the recorder on. They applauded and applauded and hooted and hollered and I didn't know what to do! I bowed once and said thank you about a hundred times, and they were still doing it as I left the stage. I was shocked but I must say it felt pretty good! It was so strange to be on that stage. The spotlight was SO BRIGHT that I couldn't see a thing. NOT A THING. The other acts were fun. There were a few singers, a magician and a jazz guitarist. Also a poetry reading, a short story reading and a chair-yoga demonstration.

My goal now is to really stop all that head movement. I guess it's back to the mirror for me...

Coming up:

Cosi fan tutti next Saturday at the Met!!!! I was about to say that it's been over a year since I've seen Nathan Gunn perform but NO I saw him in March and again in April this year. Lucky me. A girl could get used to this.

In Mars news, remember that video I was an extra in? It's allegedly going to be released any day now. There's a preview here. Gulp. No, I'm not in any of those scenes.

Other Mars news, I'm going to see them in February!!! With the same group of people (plus a few more!) I met in Atlantic City. Planning is underway!!!

Opera Project Party TONIGHT!

Hasn't really sunk in that I'm singing tonight. Had a voice lesson on Wednesday and a vocal coaching on Thursday. On Thursday morning I got a message from the main guy saying that some people are sick, we might have to add stuff, can I please bring the music for what I did LAST time too... the Mozart piece... Yikes! So instead of going straight to my vocal coaching from work, I ran home and basically tore my house apart looking for the sheet music for Batti Batti. Sang it a few times with the coach. I have no idea if I'll have to sing it tonight but at least now I'm prepared. It was fun to sing in a way because I've learned so much since I last sang it. My vocal technique has improved, my singing has improved so so much. And since there's no time to go over the song with my voice teacher, I'm really concentrating on incorporating everything I've learned into singing the piece, basically overcoming old "bad" habits so I can bring the song up to where I currently am, vocally. The coach said that it happens all the time as people progress. The revisit something they sang a while back and have to relearn how to sing the piece with their "updated" voice.

Then next week is a talent showcase at work. No one is able to accompany me so I'm doing "If Music be the Food of Love," the soprano version, with the CD accompaniment that came with the music book. It's so fast, it's like running a race, but that's ok. I went over it with the coach and will probably see my voice teacher the day before that performance.

That evening my voice... vanished. GULP. I was totally hoarse, sore throat, runny nose. NOOOO!! Woke up yesterday unable to sing. Tried humming and lip trills... nope. I wasn't hearing the notes I was trying to make. I spent most of yesterday whispering or talking very quietly when I had to talk at all and drinking tea. This morning I woke up and my voice is back!! Whew!!

Of course nothing has really changed as far as my parents are concerned... Today I told my dad I was singing in a recital tonight and he said, "Oh that's nice. A solo???" and I said yes and he said, "Really? You're GOOD enough?"
Pause. "Apparently."
"Wow. You'll have to sing for me the next time you come visit."
Yeah, ok. Sure... I'd love to sing for you so you can cut me off and ask why I'm not singing in English, and then make fun of me. Can't wait...

But on to better things - TONIGHT! I'm really excited! I'll try to get someone to record it.

Whirlwind

I just can't seem to get my brain out of this whirlwind it's in!! So much going on. I have one voice lesson a week, and I try to squeeze vocal coaching in every week. I'm participating in the holiday chorus at work again this year and we rehearse once a week. I have an Opera Project recital this coming Saturday. Then there's some sort of benefit talent show at work next week and someone involved with it who saw me at that benefit show we put on last year emailed me specifically to see if I'd like to sing in it. So I have to find an accompanist, and then figure out what to do with Alex since the rehearsal time overlaps with when I have to get him from school, and the performance starts at about the same time Husband usually gets home from work that day. So I'm thinking that I just might not be able to participate in that - too much baggage. But then, let's see. Cosi at the Met on November 27. And then December. What's going on in December? One possible Opera Project recital. And then if I happen to win a contest (hahahaha as if) to go to Las Vegas on New Years Eve (how unlike me is that???) then I'll go to see 30 Seconds to Mars do their New Year's Eve show. Of course by the time the contests (for there are 3) close the show'll probably be sold out.

So that's where I am. Constantly checking the calendar to see where and what I should be singing. Crazy fun! I love it!

Mix-Ups, Repeats and a Photo

So tired I can barely think. So here I am, writing.

I thought I had a vocal coaching today. No one was there. Later found out that she thought it was tomorrow. Rescheduled for next week. Now I have no choice but to eat the apple pie I had picked up for her.

Next Opera Project recital is November 13th at a winery!! The accompanist isn't available for a rehearsal so we're going to repeat the program we did at the jewelry store. I like the idea of singing the same thing again - I wonder how I'll do it differently this time?

And on a non-opera, 30 Seconds to Mars note, look!

Dang, that's tiny. Even clicking on it doesn't make it that much bigger. Forget that. Click here to see it REALLY big, and then, FIND ME!! Hint: I was very near the front of the mob. More photos from the video shoot are here.

And now.... Zzzzz.

Spanish, Karaoke, Casting

I must apologize for the lack of blogging! I feel like life is just swirling sometimes and there's no time to sit and write. But that's just not true. So here I am, sitting and writing.

I had a voice lesson and a coaching since my last post. My teacher totally understood what I was talking about when I described the state of relaxed concentration I was in last week. I got there again at the coaching when we went over El Majo Discreto. My teacher would love for me to sing that at a future Opera Project recital because she says there are so few Spanish songs performed, plus she thinks it's good for my voice. I think so too. Now that I'm getting more confident with it, I'm starting to have fun with it.

Speaking of fun, I was unable to participate in last weekend's Opera Project recital because I was at the most amazing Halloween party, ever. Alcohol + karaoke = lots of silliness!! There are videos out there... if someone asks nicely I'll post a link as a reply to a comment.

In other news, apparently I'm being considered (or... possibly... have been cast????) for a part in a local composer's opera, for some future Opera Project date. It's all very mushy. Someone mentioned it offhand to me, "Oh, you'll be in that thing... maybe you'll play the part of my wife." So of course I'm all, "WHAT thing?" and then I learned that someone asked someone else if they thought I'd be interested in participating ... well YEAH!!!! And that's all I know. Not much. I haven't even thought about it that much because there's no info to think about. So instead I'll just wait, and maybe follow up with a "What ever happened with that opera thing..." if I don't hear anything in a few weeks.

Ok, fine. Here. Note to self: Step AWAY from the karaoke stage...

Down the Stairs in Heels

I know, I know, I owe you a long overdue post about the Opera Project recital. I'm sorry! Things have been hectic!! I'll explain that too.

So the recital... Got there about an hour early. The venue was the atrium of a store/mall sort of place. It was open, with a wide stairway on the side leading up to a balcony-ish sort of area. Behind that was a glassed-in room. That room was the green room. There were cookies!!! Shaped like martini glasses! Yum! Of course no one ate until AFTER they sang!

So they way they set it up was, the singer on deck would wait on the landing of the stairs, then when the previous singer was walking toward the stairs, the next singer would come down and they'd pass each other on the floor near the bottom of the stairs. It's like the act of walking out on stage isn't nerve-wracking enough... they had to add the negotiation of a long flight of stairs... which of course the women had to do in heels. So dumb as it sounds, I actually walked up and down those steps a few times, to practice. I think having that to focus on took away my nervousness.

I was in the 2nd half of the recital. It was fun! I had no problem on the steps at all. I was a little nervous just to start and you can hear that in the opening note, and I cracked (OUCH!) at one point on a lower note, but corrected it pretty quickly. I still hear all the spots where I need to improve, but I thought I sounded pretty good, for me!! I can't believe how much better I've gotten since changing teachers. It's amazing. I'm like a whole new singer. And it's not like the other teacher didn't teach me how to sing - she taught me quite a lot, but I guess I just needed to hear the same stuff told to me in a different way and POW all of a sudden I can get my voice on top of the air, control the breath more and so on. Of course that also makes me realize how much more I have to learn, but that's ok. It's exciting to know that this singing journey will last for the rest of my life. But I was relaxed, I remembered to open wider for the higher notes, use my breath and so on. Still need tons of practice getting it all together of course. But as you can see from my smile at the end of the song, I wasn't unhappy!

After the recital we hung around eating cheese and cookies. I had so much fun the entire night, really, hanging out with the other singers as we all cheered each other on. The next recital that I hope to participate in is in mid-November.

Recital Video!

This is the best I've ever sung in front of people, but of course all I hear are the mistakes. First of all, my face looks pinched as if there's something uncomfortable jammed up my butt. There wasn't. Then, I cracked. I didn't open wide enough. I started out poorly. Otherwise, I guess it's ok. Click thru to YouTube if the blog format cuts off the window. I'll write more about the evening another time, but I wanted to get the video up.

Being Brave!

Opera Project recital!! I sing tomorrow! In front of people!! And... I think I'm ready!! I'm excited and nervous at the same time. It's different this time because this is the first time I'm singing since I switched to this voice teacher. It's like a first performance. Especially since I've changed, I've improved so much since I switched. It's like I'm a new singer.

Things have been crazy. I had that one demerol-hazed rehearsal, then I saw my 87 year old vocal coach, whom I adore, she's so much fun and has so many great stories, plus she's an amazing piano player and has given me such wonderful advice about performing, then I had another regular rehearsal where I did much better. After THAT rehearsal one of the guys gave me an impromptu lesson. He said he really likes my voice - he thinks it'd be good for medieval music because I can sing the higher notes straight without going flat, and a lot of the older music was written for that type of singing. Singing them straight means I can do them without vibrato. I hadn't been thinking of that as an asset. I've been trying to figure out how to consistently maintain vibrato on the higher notes. Who knew it was a skill to hit them on pitch without vibrato?

Then I had a lesson yesterday. My teacher had a couple of visitors so after warming up they came in to listen to me sing Lascia ch'io pianga. They responded positively, said that my voice sounded very clear and pure. That's nice! In the middle before the higher notes she called out to be brave... so I did... and out came these gorgeous notes! It was all I could do not to giggle, but I forced myself through it and kept on going. Be brave... such simple words... and I listened and obeyed and dropped my jaw and supported my breath and OUT came the notes! I was reminded of that vocal eval from a few years ago where one teacher wrote, "Courage!" Maybe that's what she meant. Courage to trust myself.

My teacher and I talked about maybe coming up with a program of madrigal-type songs for me, in English, Italian and Latin. She pointed out how nice the music would be with a harp or harpsichord, and I joked that with a harpist I could then sing at wedding ceremonies. And then suddenly we were like, why not? Why not have a goal? I'm not sure at the moment exactly how to get from here to there, but the first step is to learn the appropriate music. The time will pass whether or not I work towards a goal. So who knows, it may never happen, but then again, maybe it will. As 30 Seconds to Mars says, Provehito in Altum - Reach for the Heights, or, Launch Forth into the Deep! Either way, I'm reaching/launching for it. With courage! I will, of course, report in again after the recital!! Hopefully with video!!!

ps must apologize if the font is all wonky. I wrote much of this entry from work in an email to myself and I can't get the formatting to change to the regular font.

Coaching with Cookies

Wow. All the excitement of my 30 Seconds to Mars adventure has kept me from blogging properly. And there is plenty of singing stuff to mention.

Last week I had my first ever vocal coaching with a lovely and talented woman who happens to live in my town. She' in her 80s and is very good friends with my teacher so she won't take money from any of the students my teacher refers to her. So before the coaching I picked up a half dozen of the most beautiful cupcakes from the bakery for her. I should have taken a picture of them.

The coaching was great. It was my first time hearing Lascia ch'io pianga with the piano. It's so beautiful! She gave me a lot of advice about the recit - we went over it about a thousand times. Each time she said, "Ok, just one more time..." Uh huh. And one more, and one more, and one more... and it was exactly what I needed. She talked about how the recit is talking, even though there are musical notes. It's talking. You phrase it like you're talking. We went over the phrasing a lot. You are not restricted to the meter or rhythm because it's not the music... it's talking. With music. She told me that in about 10 different ways until she was sure I understood. As I relaxed I was able to relax into the part and get the musical recit to sound like talking... talking that just happens to have notes behind it. I still have a lot of practicing to do but I might be slowly starting to get a grasp on the concept.

Then of course we worked on the aria. That, of course, is restricted to the music, and needs to have more legato than the recit. And with me, when I learn something new, my legato is the first thing to go, and then I have to work it back in.

Then on Sunday I had an Opera Project rehearsal. But before I go into that, let's back up to a week ago Saturday, when I jumped like mad during the Jared Leto Aerobics Hour (and a half) that was the 30 Seconds to Mars show. My back, it doesn't like jumping. No, not at all. It was already unhappy before the show, from all that standing around. Then, JumpJumpJumpJump!!! and then ... the next day... OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH. It has gotten progressively worse since then. On Sunday morning I gave in and took half a Demerol I had lying around from when I had a root canal. (c'mon, you all do it, you save the painkillers in case you need them again...) And then, I went to the rehearsal. Hoo boy. Not doing that again. Luckily, Husband drove. So I stagger up there (most of the stagger was from the pain) and explain to them that I am on Demerol, then I try to sing. Actually I did ok, except I was nervous and actually forgot the words. I know the words! I know them very well!! Except ... I forgot them. I was ok with keeping the voice on top of the airstream, but my legato left me. One of the men there came up and asked me if I'm embarrassed to let my belly poof out. Well hell yeah, I'm a woman, I keep that sucker sucked in as much and as often as I can. He urged me to let it out and really use it, to use all my breath and not just the last 15% residual air in my lungs. Duh. I know that. But I wasn't doing it. I blame the Demerol. I actually blamed it at the time. I promised I'd be sober next time. I actually said that. I know I shouldn't have. I was just embarrassed at how sucky I thought I sounded. Then they went on about what a beautiful voice I have and it's a very common problem among singers and I need to work on the legato and see you next week. Husband said I didn't sound as bad as I thought. Someone else in the church (we rehearse in a church) told me I sounded great. They didn't have to do that. But if all these people are telling me how nice I sound, why do I think I sound like a screech owl? As I stumble around on my low dose of narcotics? I tell ya, if there's a way for me to embarrass myself in a situation, I will find it and not only will I do it, I will do it well. Of course all I did was thank them for their help and for the compliments while at the same time thinking, "Holy crap, I suck, they're not going to let me sing, they're finding all this stuff wrong, they're lying about how I sound..." Hello, self-esteem? Are you on vacation this week?

Tomorrow I have another coaching. I'll have to stop by the bakery on my way. Maybe I'll get cookies this time - oooh I know - a linzer tart or two. They're pretty big and they are YUM. Hell maybe I'll get one for myself too, and eat it in the car on my way home so I won't have to share. Bwuaa haa haa.

On a completely unrelated note, sources indicate that Our Favorite Baritone, Nathan Gunn, will finally be singing Don Giovanni. According to this article it's set for some time in 2012 in Washington, DC. I'd almost consider combining a mini-vacation there with a road trip to see the Gunnster as the Don. Plenty of time to think/plan/obsess over that.