Showing posts with label embarrassment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label embarrassment. Show all posts

Monday, January 2, 2012

The MARS 300 Song!

I finally had the house to myself the other day. I put my R2 shirt on, warmed up the pipes and then recorded myself singing this about 50 times until I got a version I wasn't too embarrassed to share. So this is how I wanted to sing it on the 7th. I've tweeted the link to the band a few times but they get so many tweets that it's unlikely that they'll see it... but I wanted to get it out there. So, without further ado, here we have, the MARS300 SONG!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Just the Facts, Ma'am

The Opera Project has a concert on Saturday, May 7 at 2, to celebrate some important birthdays in the company. Last week I noticed on the website that my name wasn't listed as one of the singers, although my teacher and I had discussed me singing there and I was preparing Ombra mai fu. So my first thought was, I guess they don't want me singing there after all. Then I gave myself a mental slap and thought, They may not know that you're interested. Because even though my teacher is one of the founders and all that, it's someone else who sets the programs for the concerts. So I sent him a text asking if there was room for me in the program because I'd like to sing, and he said yes. Like, pretty much immediately. Which was nice. I mean, if he didn't want me singing he could have said that there was no room, right? Of course the rehearsal was the same day as the 30 Seconds to Mars concert in Camden, which made me really nervous about the timing since I was getting picked up at my house at 2, and the rehearsal started at 1 about 30 minutes north of where I live. I did end up getting to sing first, and was done pretty quickly, but I didn't do as well as I hoped. And I know it's just a rehearsal, but it's daunting… I was actually shaking. Because the truth is I'm still intimidated by the talent of all the other singers, and I still marvel at how very fortunate I am that I sing with this group. And I was a little embarrassed singing because they are all so good. I know it's silly, and I know that they wouldn't let me sing with the group at all if I wasn't good enough, but that doesn't stop that little nagging voice that tells me I'm not good enough. So anyway I got home in time and the concert was great (another post for that!) but then the next day I got a voicemail message… and before I write about that I must say they are the nicest people ever, and that no matter how this may come across in print here on the blog, this was relayed to me in the nicest, gentlest and most friendly way. They said that they think I'm not quite ready to sing Ombra mai fu, that it's a bit too sophisticated for me. But I can sing Se tu m'ami again, and then maybe think about Ombra mai fu for the following concert on June 11. So of course THAT got me wondering just how bad I really sounded at that rehearsal...although they did still suggest that I sing... Also there's a birthday party after Saturday's concert, and I can sing it there. Truthfully, I'm not upset about not being able to sing Ombra mai fu at the concert. I'm still thrilled that I have the opportunity to sing again, and I'll get more practice doing the same song in front of an audience and so on. But the embarrassment… oy. I'm embarrassed that those ten people sat there in that little church chapel listening to me sing… and then decided that no, I shouldn't sing that song. I mean it's a GOOD thing. Better to be embarrassed there, in a safe place, than in front of a paying audience. But still… I don't even want to tell anyone about this. Even though it's not such a big deal. It's taking up a large amount of space in my head right now, space that should be filled with happy thoughts, not embarrassed thoughts. I'm hoping that by blogging it, it'll leave and I'll be able to move back to the happy high I was experiencing after the 30 Seconds to Mars concert… which I'll post about shortly.

So, to sum up: For a while I was feeling kind of dejected and embarrassed, but I'm back to grateful. I am so grateful for this opportunity to sing. At what point will I ever feel like I fit in?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Practicing

This is definitely a work in progress. My goal is to take the parts that sound pretty and apply it to the notes that don't. I hear all the bad ones, trust me.

I also need to learn the part in the middle... you can see/hear that it's a bit mushy.

Like I said, it's Work In Progress.



I recorded a little of Lascia ch'io pianga also, but for some reason the sound didn't take. Maybe the movie program is trying to tell me something?

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Learning Experience Recital

I've been avoiding writing about Saturday's recital because I just wasn't happy with my performance.

But I'll write about it anyway.

This recital was on the main campus of Westminster Conservatory. My voice lessons are on one of the satellite campuses. There are a few satellite campuses in the area. They decided to have each satellite teacher to send 1 student over to the main campus for a recital. I was one of two voice students... oh and I was the only adult. There were 17 of us. We sat in order of appearance in the first row. I was 2nd to last. At the other end, the earliest performers sat, their legs dangling because they didn't reach the floor. Yep, we're talking, 5 and 6 year old kids getting up and playing piano and violin. Then a few tweens playing wind and brass, a few piano, a teen singer who sang some show tune, and me. And these kids were so cute, and performed as you'd expect a talented kid of their age to perform... and the audience was all their parents and grandparents.

As it got closer and closer to my turn I found myself getting nervous. I had this sudden fear of forgetting the words, of not having warmed up enough, anything... Seriously. So when I got up, I explained in 20 seconds what the aria was about, then sang. First off, in rehearsal the accompanist and I decided she would play a chord and then start. She played a note and I was like, wait, that's not a chord, but I think that's what she's doing, so I went with it.



I felt like I forgot all I had learned. I sang nicely enough but not operatically. I forgot to make the notes ring. I had to struggle to get vibrato. I was actually sharp on some of the high notes. Husband made a video but I'm too embarrassed to even post it. I know, I know, even the most talented of singers don't like how they sound in video recordings, but trust me... it was bad. I'll post snippets of the video, but not the really cringy parts.

At the end of the event, they gave out these certificates.



Yes, I am a participant. In a fit of unnecessary paranoia I just removed my last name from the photo, not that it would make a difference... but whatever... Anyway then they told us to all group together so our parents could take group photos. Um, my parents are in Florida... so... this is about half the group. The little ones are farther down to the right.



So I figure if nothing more, it's a learning experience. Afterward my teacher was nice enough but, "We'll talk next week." gulp. Yeah, can we skip that part? I pretty much know I sucked, thanks.

Here's the ending. The best of a bad performance... that should give you an idea. This is bad. Imagine very, very worse for the rest.

Ouch.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Talent Show Clips

Wow! Singing tonight was SO.MUCH.FUN!!!!!

We opened with the chorus and my special lambada-esque thing. Improvised the dipping - hilarious when he caught my head near the end!




So for the duet... Technically I could have been better, but in the end it didn't matter. We pulled this together with one or two rehearsals. My Papageno and I sang it through once before with the music. So yeah, there are errors, and truthfully that's all I hear, but I think for the most part it's ok.

The fun stuff: We had the music set to play on this iPod player system... and it didn't work. So we had to stand there and direct someone to bring the CD over and set it up... so by the time we started singing we had already been "on stage" for a long minute or so.
I sang the wrong words at one point!! The words are "It is the greatest of all feelings" and I sang, "The greatest happiness is many," straight from the Met's English version of Magic Flute. Oops. My Papageno went with it as if it were planned. There was another line somewhere that we were supposed to sing together and he didn't sing... we both had sections where our voices just cut out... I could go on and on... I didn't sing from low enough in my body... I could have sounded richer had I remembered to do that. You know, use proper technique. Oops. Try not to cringe too much. Trust me, I'm doing enough cringing for everyone. In fact I think I just injured myself cringing.



There are two more videos to upload but it's taking sooooo long that I'll put them in another post.

Ok, here I go, hitting "publish" and embarrassing myself once again. If I had a nickel... hahaha I'd be able to always afford orchestra seats.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Planned versus Spontaneous Embarrassment

I still have this, "post a blog entry" feeling so I'm scraping around the dusty corners of my brain for something to write about. Let's see... opera... keeps me awake... price of tickets... voice lessons... being a fan... making videos... embarrassing myself in a variety of ways... going backstage... geez how many days till Lucretia? Because even though I have no plans to do anything except show up, lord knows I'll no doubt have some sort of embarrassing moment. And you know I'll write about it. And I know you all love it. But that doesn't mean I'm going to go out and look for an embarrassing moment just to have something to write about. No need. Trust me, they happen naturally. There's no premeditation. Hm maybe that's the problem. Maybe I should think of every potentially embarrassing interaction I can have with anyone (cough) and that way I'll be prepared. All I need to do is memorize each situation and how to extract myself from it gracefully. And then hope that the other person/people involved follow the script I've written in my head. They never do though...

See, it worked! I went on a small word-association thing, quickly got to embarrassment and suddenly had something to write about.

I'll be off the fluff and back on the content this week as we prepare for this Thursday's benefit thing.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Finally, the After

You heard the before and saw all the problems I listed.

Here is the after. I only occasionally have that full sound that I want, like a syllable here and there. And it only took about 7 attempts to get a version that I felt confident enough to post... although by no means am I pleased with it. This is strictly for comparison.


Monday, March 30, 2009

Experiment: Before and After - The Before

After about 20 attempts, I have a video that I'm willing to post as part of an Experiment. This is the Before, as in, before my vocal break. I will make an After video when I return from Florida so we can compare to see if there's a difference.

First off - I hear all the mistakes. I am aware that some notes are off, some are squeaky (aka, passaggio problems) and that the legato, well, sucks. I'm also feel like I move around too much, although I was actually trying not to. You can hear at the end where I run out of breath. So the short list is:

  • Not open wide enough for high notes - I'm working on it!
  • Keep the vowel forward, projecting the sound forward - I'm working on it!
  • Low breath, low in the body - I'm working on it!
  • Breath control - I'm working on it!
  • Keep the arms down to prevent squishing of the rib-cage - I'm working on it!
  • Maintain connection to the character - I'm working on it!
  • Change the vowel sound through the passaggio to keep the vowel forward- Ouch I'm working on it!
  • Legato - The first thing to go when I focus on something else, like all those things listed above. I'm working on it!
All those points to remember! They all overlap in that they affect each other, but for me it's not merely layers, it's more spatial and three-dimensional.

Several months ago I posted something about having a three-dimensional space in my head where all these things floated and I had to hold them all into their own places in order for it all to come together. That is the best way I can describe it, for now. Does that even make sense to anyone? Anyone????

So please comment and please be nice! Advice is welcome, bashing, not so much. I do that to myself enough already. I certainly don't need anyone's help. Anyway, here we go.

Before:



Oh, in case you're wondering - I had just washed my hair and I twisted it to help reduce the frizz and keep the curl. As if that helps. Not.

Speaking of experiments, a few weeks ago I posted something about experiment number two. Of course I kept it so secret that I now forget what that was about. Well, sort of. But that post refers to an earlier "experiment" post and reports positive results. I realize now that the earlier experiment had not concluded at the time of that report. It has now, I think, concluded, and the results are... inconclusive. Of course I don't quite remember what that one was either, because in a fit of I-don't-know-what (I'm lying, I know exactly what), I deleted most of it. But based on the comments, lap sitting was involved, so it must have been something good.

That's what's so great about having my memory go, um, pretty much when I got pregnant with Alex in 2003 - old things seem new and more importantly, I can recreate the past to my liking. Wait isn't that what we all do anyway????

Friday, March 20, 2009

Word of the Day: Appoggiatura

Appoggiatura. It's not a type of apology. It's not a twist on an apple pie. No - it's a long word to describe adding a musical embellishment or ornament to lean on another. Luckily you don't have to say the word in order to do it. You can read about it here.

The music I'm learning has a * every so often above the staff. On the bottom of the page we see that the * means, Appoggiatura possible. So we wrote in the ornamental note - just one tone above the note with the star, just before it. A professional opera singer friend described it to me today like this: appoggiare means to lean... which is appropriate, since it means, leaning tone. And that's what it does - it's a tiny-ish note that leans on the main note.

It does make me wonder why sometimes these embellishments are printed there in a smaller note-font, and other times they're there like that. That very song has optional ornamentation written into the music. And I always do it, of course. Possible means probable.

I really like the song. I'm very comfortable with the range. And I don't have to struggle with the pronunciation. I think my teacher was getting a wee bit frustrated with me and the French. Or, frustrated that she had to keep correcting my pronunciation, which took away from the meat of the lesson.

Once I feel super-duper comfy with the music I'll try to make a video, cuz y'all know I live to embarrass myself. I manage to do it quite well without actually singing, but at least with singing I'm in control of said embarrassment. Right. I have earned my ribbon, or medal, or whatever, in embarrassment. Now I'm working on an upgrade to the next level - mortification. Geez I hope not. Well, if it does happen, it'll most likely be on a Thursday, since that seems to be the Weekly Embarrassment Day. Uh oh... Nozze is on a Thursday and I'm going backstage. Luckily Rape of Lucretia is on a Friday. And I'm not going backstage for that one. Unless I'm invited. As if. If I'm on a list, it's not that one. Hahahaha sorry I just burst a gasket laughing. Hey that's better than crying with embarrassment.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Some Real Reviews

To balance out my review disclaimer in my previous post, here are links to some real reviews of Firebrand. Everyone loved it. Look!

The Sun News

Backstage.com
- Note the use of the word "sizzle." My facebook status update during intermission was, Susan thinks Firebrand is sssss sizzlin'

QMetropolis


NY Times

Playbill.com
- Photos of the after-party in the Patron's Lounge.

I'm done for the day.

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Official Unofficial Review

Before I begin, I feel the need to mention my disclaimer: I do not do a professional musical review. I write about my experience, my perception, my impressions. If you are looking for a professional review that uses musical terms and so on, you are reading the wrong blog.

Ok, now that I've taken care of business...

Day 1:

I got to Penn Station at about 4:15 and met my friend at 4:30. We walked uptown, took a few photos



and then made our way to the restaurant. She had made a reservation at the same place I went to back in October before Lucia.We went around the corner from the place, found a little courtyard with benches and went in to change into our heels. I'm sure we weren't the first to do that there and we won't be the last. So we walk in and she jokes with the guys there that she was allowed out for the evening... everyone laughs, we sit. A minute later the maitre d' (I looked that up, that's how it's spelled) came over with two glasses of champagne, "To celebrate being let out for the evening." Nice, huh? So we ordered the 4 veggie, 3 seafood plate from the antipasto bar and of course I got those yummy tiny octopuses. Yum!!!! Tentacles, suckers and all. Perhaps this time the champagne affected my gross-food meter? But I'm sober now and salivating at the thought of those yummy tiny things. Ok moving on, I also ordered the special salad of the day which included caramelized pears and candied pecans. Or maybe it was walnuts. I don't even remember. It was like dessert with mixed greens. I also ordered a drink called a Pear Sidecar, your typical girltini drink with a caramelized pear in it and a cinnamon-coated rim. I should have taken a photo of it. Well now I have an excuse to go back and order it again. During the meal the maitre d' came around again with a tray of freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies and he was giving a cookie to each diner. When I say tray, I mean, from the oven, and he was using a spatula. It was odd, sort of, but fabulous. The cookie was scrumptious. Then we hobbled our way across the street and into the Met. Up, up, up the stairs, all the way to the top.



I wrote about the show here. There's really not much more to say. The singing was superb. Sound flows out of Juan Diego Florez like shimmering liquid, like honey. It is unbelievable really, that a person can produce the sounds he produces, yet he does it. He sounded better than I have ever heard him before - in any recording, any live performance, anywhere. He was amazing. Natalie Dessay is like a bird. The setting was confusing and stupid. At points the sound was a little muddy - I wonder if the seat location had anything to do with it? Anyway, I should have saved my money and gotten a score desk ticket.

Afterwards we joined the press of bodies jamming down the stairs and out the door. My friend and I parted, I hopped in a taxi and made my way across town to the apartment of another friend.

Next day my other friend and I hung around, wandered around, hung around some more. We popped in and out of shops and I got this adorable hat - I'll have to post a photo. We hadn't seen each other for like 20 years but we fell immediately back into that easy friendship and conversation as if it had merely been a few weeks. You know... the performances, the fashion, the backstage adventures... they were all fun... but hanging with my friend was really the best part of the weekend. I'm just realizing that now and I am such a dork that I'm actually getting weepy as I type this. Damn hormones. She happens to be pregnant so some of those hormones probably wafted over and entered my bloodstream. Not to make me pregnant (that's not how it works kids) but enough to make me weepy.

Ok... so we hit ourselves with pretty sticks and hopped on the bus to go back across town to Lincoln Center. At Alice Tully Hall there's a new little cafe. We met a fellow blogger there and had a nice little dinner before the performance. My friend didn't have a ticket so she went home and my other dinner companion and I went in. It's really pretty in the theater. I wasn't about to whip out my camera and take a photo, so I whipped out my phone instead and did this self-portrait before the performance. Ok, I'll admit, I wanted to see just how frizzy my hair was at this point. It was Frizzy.



You can see the paneling on the walls - it was really pretty. At some point these black curtain things rolled down over the side walls.

Here is a pre-performance shot from my seat. I was in the 4th row, pretty much right in the middle.



It was a concert staging. There were three or four rows of chairs on the stage for the chorus and principals. Everyone had a looseleaf notebook of the music. Whoever was singing would move forward to the music stand and microphone. They were all formally dressed in tuxedos and gowns.

The performance was great. As you can see from the picture, there was a screen behind the singers, but they didn't go nuts with the pictures - it was subtle and often quite funny. It was obvious that the performers didn't know what was on the screen because when the audience laughed they'd peek behind.

The songs were your sort of catchy generic Broadway type songs with silly clever lyrics. The singing was fab. Nathan was great. In my opinion the woman who played Angela was the best. Her voice was angelic (no pun intended), a beautiful high soprano, clear as a bell, just a delight to listen to. Her name is Anna Christy. I do believe I would go out of my way to see a performance she is in. Everyone was great. The roles are all so silly and they all looked like they were having a blast. One singer played several different characters and just changed his hat each time. There was a narrator who didn't sing but had some great descriptive lines along the way. The whole thing was so well done. I'd never seen a performance in that format and I didn't know how I would like it, but it was just delightful.

Ok so the plot... I'll just copy it from here. Benvenuto Cellini, the great Florentine sculptor, is sentenced to hang, but he is pardoned when the duke realizes that he has not completed a previously commissioned sculpture. Freed, he is able to turn his attention to his favorite model (and object of his affections), Angela. The Duke also is interested in Angela. Thus, Cellini does his best to keep the Duke away from Angela. Meanwhile, he finds he has to keep himself away from the Duchess! At the end of the show, Cellini escapes yet another death sentence by fleeing to Paris.

Yes, your typical mayhem and madness, sneaking around and so on, with catchy tunes and silly lyrics.

I already wrote about the pre and post-show adventures here.

I'm still deciding if I should post the picture or not. Ah, what the heck. Half head and frizzy hair, here we go. For anyone who doubted, here's the photographic evidence that I was there. Proof. And poof - my hair, that is. Poof. So much for anti-frizz curl-enhancing products.


Friday, November 28, 2008

Is it Still Friday?

I was home alone all day today and spent most of the day recording myself singing. What better way to fill yourself with self-disgust and embarrassment than to watch video after video of yourself singing flat, singing sharp, cracking for no reason and doing all sorts of other embarrassing things. Luckily for all of us it's Cat Pic Friday.


Diego, King of All He Surveys




Viola Approaches the Table



Cats read Opera News too, especially when Nathan Gunn is on the cover

.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Post 401 - The Stuff I Forgot to Put in Post 400

My utter embarrassment for my friend as well as sort of for myself knocked some of the other interesting and non-embarrassing things out of my mind, so in no particular order, here we go with more things Ann told me about her day.

  • The sound was much quieter than she expected, because she usually listens in the car at top volume.
  • Christian's voice carried very well and he sounded Grrrreeaaat.
  • Before the performance, there was an announcement that Nicole C. had a cold and while she was going to perform, she might not be up to par. Ann could detect no problems - said that she sounded fabulous.
  • Everyone was much taller than she expected
  • The supers were the best part of the show, especially the bald ones in the saffron robes. Ok she didn't say that but I had to put that in for one of the readers. As a super myself, I always look for and notice supers, but the uninitiated don't notice them. I suppose that's the point.
  • This is my 401st post on the blog, in case the title didn't clue you in. Ann didn't tell me that either.