Recital Report... Video to follow

The recital went pretty well! Of course I think I could have done better, but I think I did ok.
I had a lot of fun. I feel so privileged to be able to perform with the Opera Project. Everyone is so talented! It's great fun to hear, support and encourage each other.

When I got there I realized that the tags were still attached to my skirt! So I was up in the green room (also known as the preschool classroom at the church where we perform) with my hands down the back of the skirt to tear them out when one of the other singers, an older guy, walked in. Oops, caught me with my hands down my skirt! The skirt was so long that I kept stepping on it on the stairs until I just gave up and hiked it up past my knees when I was on the stairs. That was interesting since of course I was wearing knee-high hose... but luckily the only stairs were the ones leading to the green room... through an area that was under construction... so the steps are splattered with paint, the railings are covered with drop-cloths, the floors are bare plywood and there is large equipment in the corners - big saws with jagged blades and I don't know what else... because there were no lights over the stairs. Fun!! All part of the adventure.

We forgot to bring the camera, so Husband made a video with his iPhone. It's taking forever to load so I'll publish it later... for now... Not sure what I was doing with my arms ... have to remember to let them just hang next time. You'll see what I mean if/when the video ever loads!

...

Later: I gave up and uploaded it to YouTube. Here it is:

Mental Prep

Tomorrow is the Opera Project recital! So of course I woke up yesterday with a sore throat, and today I have swollen glands. Not too congested... mainly the throat. I hummed a bit in the shower this morning and then sang a few scales - the voice seems ok. I just practiced a bit, to get the breathing thing going on those trouble spots, and now my throat is a little sore and my head is a little spinny. However, I think I'm slowly figuring out, layer by layer, how to attack those sections of the song.

There's one section that comes really easily to me - 4:26 to 4:34 here. (And my fantasy, of course, is to sound as beautiful as she does.) But for some reason I was having trouble with 4:19-4:22. It was the whole mental thing ... I anticipated it and tensed up... same old story. So I separated my brain out to pay attention to my body in that later part, then I applied that to the earlier part, and it worked. Basically, it comes not only to using the low abs for the breath, but also to trust myself to do it. When I relax and just let it happen, it sounds so much better than when I think about it. I know the words, I know the notes, I know the rhythm. I don't need to think about it. I do at some points need to think about where to breathe, to remind myself to take a breath, but the rest, I have to just trust my body to do its thing. So the next thing I need to trust it to do is not go all hoarse on me tomorrow.

I got the program for the evening. I'm in act 2 which means I'll have time to warm up during intermission. Good. One less thing for me to wonder and worry about.

Deep breath... relax... go.

Opera Project Rehearsal and CHOCOLATE!!

Just rehearsed Batti Batti for the upcoming Opera Project recital:



The woman who gave me those extra lessons last time told me I have improved a lot and it sounds really pretty. *blush* I still find it hard to believe I'm actually doing this! It's still so odd to me to suddenly sing. I mean, I get there, I give the music to the accompanist and then suddenly I have to sing. I know that's what's going to happen, but it's still a sort of shocking transition from just standing around to suddenly singing. Funny, when I stepped onto the stage I actually said out loud, "I love it up here." And that love or delight or whatever helped me relax and sing my best. We went over a few parts where the accompanist and I had to coordinate speed, etc, then I was done.

Then I drove home through a torrential downpour with flooded parts of the road, tree limbs and wires down and general mayhem on the roads. That didn't prevent me from stopping at the market to pick up a few chocolate items - dark chocolate-covered marzipan, one of my favorites, and some ice cream and whipped cream to serve for dessert tonight since I have a friend coming over for dinner. The marzipan I ate most of on the under-one mile drive home of course.

Still All in My Head

Ack! It's all happening so fast. First of two rehearsals for the Opera Project recital is this coming Saturday. I'm singing Batti Batti and I go back and forth between thinking I'm not ready and feeling like I can do it. I've done it. I know I can do it. Plus I have a voice lesson that morning and we'll go over it. And of course I've been practicing. Suddenly I can hear myself letting air out all these places where I shouldn't. I hear that h coming out in between where a vowel has two notes. Last week during my lesson, in addition to the zombie vocal frying, my teacher pulled out the ole rubber band and was stretching it out as I sang. Silly as it sounds, it really helps. So I've been doing it at home. It's hard! I mean, my fingers are sore! But seriously, the visual of the rubber band stretching reminds me to keep the steady pressure and not stop for a h break where it doesn't belong. So I do my glottal stop, my vocal fry, my rubber band stretch, trusting that my voice will send out the correct note all pretty and bell-like, all the while remembering the words, keeping the breath low and steady in the abs, standing still, pressing my shoulders down, gazing out over the "audience" (or out the window, at home) and not fearing those certain vowels on certain notes. I was explaining this all to a friend today who was hanging out while I futzed around with the music. She laughed when I did lip trills. I remember when I first learned about them and how I couldn't get through a line without laughing, kind of like now and the vocal frying. We both laughed hysterically at the vocal frying stuff. But I've been practicing and it really does help. She was good because she assured me that the i vowel (that's long eeeee like see or si) on an F doesn't come out all screechy like I feel it does. She said it comes out like I'm comfortable singing the note. And since I can sing the same note just fine on other vowels, it's obviously all in my head. So what else is new.

The Learning Experience Recital

I've been avoiding writing about Saturday's recital because I just wasn't happy with my performance.

But I'll write about it anyway.

This recital was on the main campus of Westminster Conservatory. My voice lessons are on one of the satellite campuses. There are a few satellite campuses in the area. They decided to have each satellite teacher to send 1 student over to the main campus for a recital. I was one of two voice students... oh and I was the only adult. There were 17 of us. We sat in order of appearance in the first row. I was 2nd to last. At the other end, the earliest performers sat, their legs dangling because they didn't reach the floor. Yep, we're talking, 5 and 6 year old kids getting up and playing piano and violin. Then a few tweens playing wind and brass, a few piano, a teen singer who sang some show tune, and me. And these kids were so cute, and performed as you'd expect a talented kid of their age to perform... and the audience was all their parents and grandparents.

As it got closer and closer to my turn I found myself getting nervous. I had this sudden fear of forgetting the words, of not having warmed up enough, anything... Seriously. So when I got up, I explained in 20 seconds what the aria was about, then sang. First off, in rehearsal the accompanist and I decided she would play a chord and then start. She played a note and I was like, wait, that's not a chord, but I think that's what she's doing, so I went with it.



I felt like I forgot all I had learned. I sang nicely enough but not operatically. I forgot to make the notes ring. I had to struggle to get vibrato. I was actually sharp on some of the high notes. Husband made a video but I'm too embarrassed to even post it. I know, I know, even the most talented of singers don't like how they sound in video recordings, but trust me... it was bad. I'll post snippets of the video, but not the really cringy parts.

At the end of the event, they gave out these certificates.



Yes, I am a participant. In a fit of unnecessary paranoia I just removed my last name from the photo, not that it would make a difference... but whatever... Anyway then they told us to all group together so our parents could take group photos. Um, my parents are in Florida... so... this is about half the group. The little ones are farther down to the right.



So I figure if nothing more, it's a learning experience. Afterward my teacher was nice enough but, "We'll talk next week." gulp. Yeah, can we skip that part? I pretty much know I sucked, thanks.

Here's the ending. The best of a bad performance... that should give you an idea. This is bad. Imagine very, very worse for the rest.

Ouch.

Merry Merry!

It's Christmas Eve and here I am blogging. Why? Because I'm Jewish, that's why! Well, really because I'm finally not too tired or busy to sit at the computer and attempt to string two words together.

Last week my voice lesson was canceled due to SNOW!!!! Big piles of fun fluffy snow. I spoke with my teacher and she said we'll have enough time to get Batti Batti into shape before the recital at the end of January. And I have been practicing! I have been singing it without consonants. I have been singing it while consciously dropping my jaw down, down, down. I have been forcing my shoulders down. I sang it in the yoga tree pose. I've sung it while bent over and hanging down to touch my toes. I have been employing the Julia Child technique to keep the resonance. I want to be ready, I want to nail it.

I've also been trying to teach myself La ci darem la mano. The duet starts about 3 min into that video. You can also see it here, although they need to work on their diction. Ahem.

If only I knew a baritone to sing it with... For now I sing along with whatever recording I have handy - one in the car, one in the house, etc. Perhaps I can slowly teach myself all of Zerlina, wouldn't that be interesting. Hm. I have no idea how to learn or perform recits. I never even thought about it, really. I once had a friend who was a teaching assistant for a Mozart Recit class in a University in the Midwest, that's the closest I've come to it. An entire semester on just recits. So is that something I can teach myself? I doubt it... But I'm not ready for that yet anyway. This recit thing is just a train of thought here.

Work chorus thing happened. It was the same as last year. They asked me to get in front of the microphone. It didn't always work out that way. It didn't matter. We all had fun and even got a free lunch at a swanky restaurant out of it.

My final thought of the evening: I've been offered a free ticket to see Don Pasquale at the Dallas Opera on Feb 24. A free ticket to see Nathan Gunn sing some pretty music. This ticket possibly comes with a post-performance trip backstage. But either way... I have enough frequent flyer miles to do it. I've found a reasonably-priced hotel within a mile of the opera house. The problem is, I'm going to see La Fille at the Met on Feb 22. Husband teaches on the evening of Feb 23 so we'd run into the same old childcare issue. So if I went, it'd have to be the day of. We all know how snow can interfere with travel plans. I'd much rather get a flight for the day before. Plus it'd be exhausting to run to NYC and then fly to TX the next day. I've pretty much told the kind and generous person/friend that I don't think I can swing it. But wow I wish I could! I can't leave him hanging, though, if he wants to offer the ticket to someone else. Ah well. I guess I'll have to resign myself to seeing Mr. Baritone in March and in April.

Damn I'm spoiled. And I like it that way.

Progress!

Great voice lesson today!!! I warmed up beforehand, like I usually do, but instead of warming up in the car up to the time of the lesson, I warmed up at home and was pretty much silent in the car for the 15 minute drive. Did that make a difference? One of the many questions I have about warming up... that could be its own blog entry.

So we did all these vocal exercises up and down the scale and I was in great voice. Then we did Batti Batti and my teacher was impressed!! She said I sounded really really nice. She jokes that I'm the poster child for a good voice student, because all her other students are teenagers and they don't pick up the music or practice in between lessons. Yeah well when I was a teenager, whenever I sang my two older brothers would tell me to shut up and that my voice stinks. So I can imagine some of them might be in a similar situation that makes them self-conscious. Hell they're teenagers - everything makes them self-conscious. Plus I pay for my lessons... but that's not why I practice. It's the "I don't give a crap what you think" attitude about people overhearing me practice. And as I've said before, my neighbors have all heard me. And I love singing, and I want to sound better and to learn more more more!!! THAT'S the real reason I practice - because I WANT to! I can't NOT sing. Hokey hokey hokey I know. Anyway she gave me some exercises to do for a few of the tricky spots in Batti Batti - the "ah" sound at a certain note is coming out sort of strained, so she reminded me to keep what she calls a "dumb jaw," a wide open mouth to create vertical space. For myself, I also think it forward, sort of up and out, and I have to remember to use my low breath. The more I practice, the more easily I can fit it all together. So I was really pleased at the end of the lesson.

Alex started his lesson today too. He's getting a 30 minute private lesson which will mostly be a piano lesson but will include a lot of music theory appropriate for his current musical knowledge and skill. His teacher is excited because he picks it up so quickly. She said he really fits best in-between the levels of the group classes, so private lessons are perfect for him.

I'm thinking that if he's learning some piano, we really ought to pick up an electric keyboard for him to practice on. But do I need to get one with piano action keys? They're so much more expensive, and who knows if he'll continue with it.

I've decided that I will save the warming-up questions for another post, as it is now 12:01 am and although daylight savings time means an extra hour of sleep for most people, young children aren't clued into that. But the good news is, he'll go to sleep at 6:30 tomorrow night.

Let's Twist Again... On 2nd Thought, Let's Not

Great voice lesson this morning!

First, of course, she asked me WHY I was trying to sing Gretchen when we hadn't gone over the pronunciation and rhythm and all that. She basically gave me the same lecture/advice as SEY did in the comment here. Patience, patience, patience, layer by layer, one thing at a time and so on. Then we went over the first two pages of music, IPA, pronunciation (yeah of course I was pronouncing a few things WRONG!!) and rhythm, then I sang just those two pages and we worked on that a bit. Oh even before all that... well, AFTER the lecture but BEFORE the singing, we did some warm-ups to work through what she calls "the valley of the shadow of death," those low-ish notes where my voice (and other people's voices too, I imagine) tends to break and crack. Then we were doing things up and down with a glottal stop to prevent me from adding an H to the beginning of the vowels. At one point she stopped me and asked if I realized I was doing a bit of what she called a "washing machine twist." For certain parts of the scale, but not all, apparently I was doing this little sway back and forth as I sang. I'll have to look back at the videos to look for it. So I concentrated on standing still, keeping the breath low, using the low abs and all that, not adding that H to the beginning, up and down and up and down to iron out that break... THEN we worked on Gretchen. Ok that's not true either... she said something about the A vowel being difficult at certain notes, which reminded me that I wanted to ask her about one section of Batti Batti, the "sapro baciar" part, where I have so much trouble with "baciar." At least I thought I did. I think I do. She had me sing it and said it didn't SOUND like I had trouble with it. She said that the CH causes us to close down when we need to be open for the next vowel, the A. She suggested practicing those measures without the CH and then adding it back in. Same old story. So back to Gretchen because AFTER that, we did work on it. My homework for Gretchen is to keep the vowels going to the end of the words. Some of the notes are held for a bit, and I tend to let down as if I've run out of energy. Thinking about it now, I think it's because I'm unsure of the song, so hopefully I'll be able to practice now, along with the cassette recording I made of the lesson, and gain more confidence. My other homework is to read about Faust, to see where Gretchen's lament about losing her lover fits into the story. My teacher said she loves how I can carry the emotion in the music, and it'll be better if I really understand the character and the story beyond, "She's distraught because she lost her lover."

So that's my homework for the week. Oh and to focus on standing STILL. I guess it's back to the mirror for me.

Oh, and she read/watched (and commented on) this. She thought it was great. She knows Alex because she used to each in the Early Childhood department and was his teacher for two years. That's how I met her, and when she switched to teaching voice she recruited me as one of her students. Read about that here.

When I got home, Alex asked me for a blank tape to record some CDs, just because it's fun to play with the boom box, so I gave him an old voice lesson recording. Well, before recording his songs onto it, he listened to the whole thing. I was in the next room and it was strange (and almost creepy, for some reason?) to hear my voice doing scales and what-not from the next room.

I'm so happy to have my voice lessons resume!

Batti Batti-ing my Head in Frustration

So basically I've taught this to myself. I think I went over the rhythm with my voice teacher at our last lesson. Then I listened to Cecilia Bartoli and others while following along in the music.

The accompaniment was ridiculously fast. Same guy played the accompaniment for Una Donna - he obviously had a golf game to get to. So I put it into Garage Band and slowed it down a little.

Then, since I was home alone this evening, a rarity, I recorded myself singing this about 15 times. I took the four best and, using iMovie, edited them using the best parts of each. Well, sort of. That got tedious pretty quickly, so really I guess you could say I edited parts in to cover mistakes. So I edited out the worst parts. And of course there are still many mistakes. But you should have heard how I was when I first started learning it.




So I'm struggling with breath control and high notes. And low notes. And what's with the lurching forward? That's new.

I could say a lot more about what's wrong with this, what many challenges I have to overcome and all that. But since it's time for me to go to bed, I'll try to end on a positive note... This is a very difficult song and I'm impressed that I got through it. A year ago I never would have believed I could do it, and prior to studying voice it never would have crossed my mind. So in spite of how crippy this sounds, I'm proud that I've gotten this far. My journey is still only just beginning, and it'll last for the rest of my life.

Plugging Along

So I've been plugging along this summer without voice lessons and I am really missing them. I'm teaching myself Batti Batti and Gretchen am Spinnrade, but who knows if I'm teaching myself correctly? I could be practicing mistakes.

One of the things I'm trying to do is crescendo into a note. I want to start out quiet and get louder and louder in a slow and steady pace. I'm also trying to do it in reverse - decrescendo. I'm still trying to figure out the breath control. Something in my brain is mixing me up and I end up changing the note along with the volume. As I get louder, I get higher. It seems like no matter how hard I concentrate I still change the notes. I'm sure my teacher would have some way of describing what to do/think about/behave in order to achieve the steady crescendo on one note.

So that's my latest vocal struggle/challenge/desire/whatever. Feel free to post comments with tips if you have any.

Legato in the Mountains

I may be able to get away from home and work, but I can't get away from music. I don't want to. So my goal these next few days is to:

A. Memorize the rest of the words to Batti Batti
B. Sing it without consonants to improve my legato
C. Try to figure out where to breathe

Wish me luck.

Off I go to the mountains.

Normalcy?

When I was a teenager I recall one of my friend's mothers saying that the most commonly asked question among teenagers is, "What's wrong with me?" I wonder if it simply starts during the teenage years, when we really become self-aware, and then fades but never completely vanishes from our psyche.

Obviously I am in dire need of a voice lesson and the mental release it provides.

Today I was practicing Batti Batti and was actually pleased with my progress. I am using all the layers I've built into my voice, or I should say, I'm incorporating them all together much more quickly than I was able to before. I'm really working hard now on staying grounded and using my low abs - keeping the breath low in my body. I'm remembering to open open open and not swallow the vowels that are followed by /r/. I'm even finally getting the hang of reading music. I never really learned before, but finally I feel a little less awkward reading along the rhythm, or moving to the note that the note symbol moves to on the staff. I think in terms of wholes and halves. I still have to work on remembering the sharps and flats from the beginning of the music. But little by little my brain is learning to read the music. I can't necessarily name the note by glancing at the staff, but I can do the changes and the rhythms. I still usually have to do the "Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge" and F-A-C-E for the notes. One layer at a time. I'm glad I'll have a few voice lessons this summer to help me round out the aria.

So anyway, I'm excited by all that. Then, because of Facebook status updates, I'm aware of some of the rehearsal schedule for the opera I'm not supering in this summer, and seeing that makes me sad. Ok, it feels like a kick in the stomach. I know, I know, it sounds so dramatic, but there you have it. I know, I know, get over it already. I am trying to. Really I am. I thought I was over it, until I realized that rehearsals with the supers have probably already begun.

To put things into perspective, I keep reminding myself that if this is what's making me sad, that means that the rest of my life, the real stuff, must be pretty good. Otherwise this wouldn't matter at all.

Plus I still have this other thing in the works at the moment, the thing I won't write about until I know what the outcome will be. So I don't know yet if I'm happy or crushed by that.

So I'm hit with elation, depression, happiness, sadness, and I'm hit pretty hard in both directions, all over the course of several hours. This is my life. Is this normal? To quote the typical teenager, "What's wrong with me?"

Maybe it's time for some medication beyond the girltini. Feel free to recommend your favorite anti-depressant. My doc will rx anything I ask for.

Hot Fun in the Summertime

Yes! I'm taking voice lessons over the summer!!! With my voice teacher! I'm so happy. I'm taking only 4 lessons, spread out in July and August. I had started making tentative plans on how to continue studying on my own - researching websites that have vocal exercises and techniques, compiling vocal exercises and warm ups, just to keep on building. I do that a little, but really rely on my teacher for the foundation.

So now we'll continue with Batti Batti, which I LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! I'm in love with this music. And we'll also be able to get into Gretchen am Spinnrade, which while I'm not totally blown away by, I know I will be, because right now the haunting melody captivates me. It captivates me even more than before after seeing Lucretia and experiencing those haunting melodies.

I have something else in the works but I don't want to write about it until after it takes place, or perhaps when it's imminent. Until then...

p.s. And speaking of hot fun in the summertime, I haven't forgotten about this.

A Quickie

Voice lesson: Since we'll have a few weeks before the next lesson, instead of starting Gretchen, we began Batti Batti, which I had pulled out last week. We did the pronunciation, the rhythm, the melody. I know much of it already from listening and singing along with the CD. In the car. Very loudly. I make up the words I don't know. I guess I'll learn them now. I still need to translate it word for word and do selective IPA-ing.

Tomorrow: Changed my mind and decided to go with the long black flowery skirt and a black top. I do have earrings for it but of course I needed to make new ones so I spent much of the evening after my lesson throwing together variations of sparkly dangly things I can wear with it. I'm too wiped to photograph them now but I will. I think I made 5 or 6 pair.

So anyway I've tossed what I think I need into the bag, including the tickets. Don't want to forget the tickets. I have makeup, clothes, shoes, jewelry, toiletries and the camera. Tomorrow I'll toss the phone charger in and that will be it.

Hooray!! An adventure!!!