Saturday, August 2, 2008

What Not To Do

Imagine you're driving along in your car when you notice something out of the corner of your eye. You glance out the window and there it is, inches from your face:


A giant ugly hairy orb spider with horrible striped legs. Apparently it has taken up residence in your side-view mirror and has built a web between the mirror and the driver-side door. Your rational side keeps saying, "There is a closed window between you and this spider. It cannot get into the car." Your insane side, meanwhile, is freaking out, and it's clearly shoving your rational side to a remote corner of your mind. It's forcing you to keep an eye on the spider, even though it's early morning and you're driving through a very deer-ridden area. As you turn onto a road where the speed limit is 50 miles per hour, you figure that at that speed, the spider will surely fly off. But no. You watch while it flails around wildly, failing to fall off. Why isn't it falling off? And you really should be paying more attention to the road, as you are now driving between 50 and 60 miles per hour and there are many, many deer in the area. Suddenly you see the spider gather itself, and you actually see it shoot out a new thread of silk and sort of suck itself over the mirror right next to the window. At that point your rational side has left the building and you let out a throat-scraping shriek. Then, slightly embarrassed, you laugh at your silliness. By the time you get to your destination, the spider is nowhere to be seen, however, your throat feels like someone ran a nail file over it. Not really the best thing for your voice...

5 comments:

Lydia said...

Oh, I know exactly what you mean! I HATE spiders and freak out whenever I see them, especially in my car. Blech.

Anonymous said...

I had a similar experience this morning. I drove six miles to a store, and when I got out of the car I noticed a brown spider with black and white legs on a web between the outside mirror and the driver's door. I hadn't seen it before, but it must have been there for the six miles. When I came out of the store, it was gone. I guess it decided to take up residence in the store parking lot.

Susan said...

OK - So you noticed the spider AFTER you got out of the car. You left it there and went into the store. You came back and it was gone.

Did you drive 6 miles freaking out about a spider on the other side of the window, mere inches from your face??? No. Did you knock the spider off when you saw it? No. Did you worry the entire time you were in the store? No. No drama there! HAHAHA. I would have used a piece of cardboard or something to flick the spider off the car and I would have let out another throat scraping screech as I did it. I know, I'm such a girl.

You know, it's probably hiding in some nook or cranny by the side mirror...

Anonymous said...

Maybe, but I think it liked the parking lot and decided to stay there.

Susan said...

Yeah. You just keep telling yourself that.