A Paying Gig!

Whew. Finally I'm not totally embarrassed by a performance. I say not TOTALLY because of course there's always something that makes me cringe. Like in this past performance, finally, finally, I didn't crack and I kept my voice on top of the air, for the most part. But then…why was I channeling Stevie Wonder? I mean, he's blind…he doesn't know that people don't usually waggle back and forth when they sing. I have no excuse. But I'm getting ahead of myself here.

There was no rehearsal with the accompanist before this concert, and I was singing something that we hadn't practiced before, so I actually took a photo of the music and emailed it to the accompanist. Then I went up an hour and a half early to run through it with him before the show.

I wore the same cocktail dress and hot pink feather hairband that I wore to the last concert:

But I waited until I got to the venue to pull on the restrictive, flesh-squashing underwear. Wouldn't you?

Before the concert began, one of the guys gave me a pep talk. He said he wanted to work on me with my self-esteem - that I'm just as good as everyone else in the group and to just get out there and have fun. He kept telling me how far I've come in just a year and how gutsy that is. It doesn't FEEL gutsy. It just is what it is. But he was right, as I watched the other performers that night I realized that I was on par with them.

Before I sang I invoked the presence of all my dead, opera-loving relatives - my grandfather, an aunt and an uncle. I was focusing on my aunt mostly, but I swear I felt like my grandfather bumped into my right side. It sounds crazy. Probably just wishful thinking. I mean, I was thinking actively about them, and then it felt like he was there, to my left. I don't have that feeling now. I'm trying to feel it as I type this. It's not there. So who knows. I'm the biggest skeptic there is so I don't even believe myself.

So here we go, Sento nel Core, by Donaudy:

So my next goal is to work on STANDING STILL!!!

After we all sang, the owner of the winery gave us each two bottles of wine! My first paid gig. Paid in wine... that works for me.

Then I got in the car, pulled off the flesh-compressing underwear and drove home.

Now I have the whole summer to build up a little rep... maybe I'll be able to sing TWO pieces at a concert next season.

Update No. 2: 30 Seconds to Mars: NEON NIGHT

Next report: The 30 Seconds to Mars concert in Camden. Which actually took place a few days before the Rigoletto Adventure, but oh well, I'm posting about it after.

Not going to go on and on about how AWESOME it was. Just a few facts, a few photos and a video to give you an idea of my view of the stage.

Technically these are views of us from the stage, from the pit between the stage and the barrier:

I'm the one in the tiara... Yeah. It was part of the birthday gift from my friends. That, and the wand, the pink hair thing that I've worn twice to sing, and a feather boa that you can't see in this pic. It all matched great with the neon theme of the evening. And I left feathers everywhere.

Here was my view of the stage:

Neon theme... lots of pink in the crowd that night..

And here's one of the videos I took. Watch through to the end, promise? You'll see the feather boa in action. Among other things. Let's just say, be thankful this isn't a scratch-n-sniff screen.

Here is the official Meet & Greet photo. As you can see, Jared LOVED the boa. Who wouldn't?

And I know you're all wondering, did they remember me as the one who sang opera at a meet & greet a few months before? Shannon got to me first, again. I asked if he remembered that I sang opera for him a few months before... His reply, "Oh, thank you very much." Uh yeah obviously you didn't hear what I said... I was laughing because he was just clueless. Tomo, I forgot to ask. Then Jared came by. We were laughing and I said I was molting. It's true. Feathers were everywhere. Then one of my friends reminded him SHE'S THE ONE WHO SANG OPERA IN CONNECTICUT DO YOU REMEMBER??? He claimed to remember... said they had an opera singer on stage with them at a show in London once... blah blah blah... Well. Maybe they remember, maybe not. I have a feeling he always says he remembers when people ask him if he does. Anyway, I don't care if they remember. I remember and that's what counts.

Finally, before you go, click here to see the official band photo of the audience, taken from the stage. Click on the picture to enlarge it. Then look for the pink feather boa in the front row. Oh yeah.

Catchy-Uppy Part Whatever: Rigoletto in May

There are so many things to catch up on. Here we go with Part 1, Rigoletto.

Remember how I speculated (poorly) by getting extra tickets to Comte D'ory, and ended up trading last minute for Rigoletto? Well I went with a friend to see it at the beginning of May. Yeah, like 6 weeks ago.

Here I am on the train in my favorite sneakers:

I was in the very first train car, in the very first row of seats behind the little room where the conductor and driver live. And that was good, because that car lost power, which meant it lost air-conditioning. It wasn't too hot, but it did get warm. But because of the power thing, the workers kept going in and out of the little room up in front. THAT room had plenty of air-conditioning and it kept blowing out onto me. The tunnel from NJ to NY was a little dark, but there were little emergency lights so we weren't plunged into total darkness.

It was extra fun with this friend, not only because she's a lot of fun, but also because, although she'd been to many plays and shows both on and off Broadway, this was her first opera.

We had great seats in the orchestra - didn't even need the binocs.

It was, of course, really really good. My newbie friend said she could listen to the soprano "all day" and also that she'd like to come see another!

Intermission on the balcony:

So I'm already planning on a group outing for next year. I'm not doing season tickets again this year, so I'll be stuck calling and/or going online in August with all the other peons when tickets go on sale. Of course I absolutely have to see L'Elisir d'Amore so I'm thinking that might be The One.

Suck it Up

You know how sometimes you're trying to learn something and you're just not getting it… then one day someone describes it in a different way, or uses a different word, and suddenly it all makes sense? That's what happened when I switched voice teachers a year ago… my current teacher had a different way of describing what I needed to do and suddenly it just clicked. I made a huge leap in my singing ability based on that… and while I've slowly continued to improve and refine my singing, I don't feel like I've made any huge leaps since then.

Then at my last lesson, we were doing vocal warm-ups at some lower notes and she said, "Think of sucking your voice up." I had been thinking along the lines of throwing it out between my eyes, focusing over my nose, or up and over inside my mouth and face. When she said to suck it up, I thought of trying to suck it into my skull. Of using my brain to pull it up there. That one word somehow made something click, and I was suddenly able to keep my voice up on top of the air at a note that I had struggled with before.

So off I go now, to suck it up.

Gremlins! Buh-Bye

I read the following post out loud to my teacher, before publishing it here:

******

Gremlins. Ah those sneaky little things. They get in and sabotage things. Only, they are ... me.

I sang in a recital on Saturday. And as usual, I did not perform as well as I wanted. Why? I kept asking myself. What was different on that day? And slowly I came to realize that I had sabotaged myself. It started with my general feeling of, “Everyone else is so good... why do they let me sing here.” The little gremlin on my shoulder poked me in the side of the neck and taunted in a deep gravelly voice, “YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!”

Then the rehearsal, where I sang Ombra mai fu, and the call the next day. “NOT GOOD ENOUGH!” taunted the gremlin. And not being listed on the program in the first place. “SEE!” croaked the goblin. “NOT GOOD ENOUGH!” My rational side whispered, “But they do let me sing. I’m still singing. I AM good enough.” “NO YOU’RE NOT!” snapped the gremlin as he poked me in the neck.

During the week I saw my vocal coach. Corrected some rhythmic and phonetic problems. I sounded pretty good. I recorded it and practiced with it.

Then, the day of the recital. Packed house full of “important” people, ie, potential donors. One singer after another gets up and knocks ‘em dead with a fabulous performance. Then that damn gremlin showed up. “WHO ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH!” poke poke poke. As I waited for my turn, I kept telling myself that that shaky feeling wasn’t fear, it was adrenaline. Well. That damn gremlin managed to knock down my self-esteem and I walked out onto stage nervous. “YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH! NOT GOOD ENOUGH! YOU’RE GOING TO CRACK! YOU’LL SEE!” I did my best at the time, but it definitely wasn’t my best. It was acceptable. And I didn’t crack because I safely went under the “flip” for the low notes, rather than trying to keep the air on top. I smiled and all, but I was miserable. Then afterwards, the comments from people... oy vey. How we choose to interpret things.

“You sounded a little nervous when you started... but you got better...”

“You’ve come a long way. And you LOOKED adorable.”

And my favorite, the condescending & sympathetic, “Was this your first time singing with the Opera Project?”

So I have a new goal. That pokey gremlin has been warned: Gremlins who poke will lose their fingers. (thanks to a twitter friend for that gem!) That gremlin has no role in my life. I have sent him floating off in a helium balloon. I know what I can do and how to do it.

I also have been able to look at this not as “yet another humiliation because YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH,” into, you’re ok, you can do better, every performance is a learning experience. I did watch the video and realize I wasn’t as bad as I thought. It was an acceptable performance. But I don’t want to deliver acceptable. I want to deliver, spectacular. I’m hoping to be able to sing Ombra mai fu at the next recital. No more of this “You’re not good enough,” no more poking. I’m going to get out there and show ‘em what I can do. Because you know what? I AM GOOD ENOUGH!!!

******

My teacher assured me that yes, I am indeed good enough. She thinks I have the potential to be really really great. I can produce some really beautiful sounds when warming up with scales and so on. All I need to do is consistently apply that to singing arias. I just have to practice staying on top of the air at all times. She also talked about comparing myself to others - which as even I know, is a no-no. I mean, I know how I'd respond to someone who read that gremlin essay to me.

So the next recital is June 11. She doesn't think I'll be ready for Ombra mai fu so we'll figure out what else I can sing. I'm sure we'll come up with something.

So anyway, this is what I wore for the recital:

And this is how I dressed when I got home that evening, to comfort myself in my gremlin-induced pity-party:

And yes, they are footie pajamas and the skulls do glow in the dark. Thank you, Target boys' department.

Just the Facts, Ma'am

The Opera Project has a concert on Saturday, May 7 at 2, to celebrate some important birthdays in the company. Last week I noticed on the website that my name wasn't listed as one of the singers, although my teacher and I had discussed me singing there and I was preparing Ombra mai fu. So my first thought was, I guess they don't want me singing there after all. Then I gave myself a mental slap and thought, They may not know that you're interested. Because even though my teacher is one of the founders and all that, it's someone else who sets the programs for the concerts. So I sent him a text asking if there was room for me in the program because I'd like to sing, and he said yes. Like, pretty much immediately. Which was nice. I mean, if he didn't want me singing he could have said that there was no room, right? Of course the rehearsal was the same day as the 30 Seconds to Mars concert in Camden, which made me really nervous about the timing since I was getting picked up at my house at 2, and the rehearsal started at 1 about 30 minutes north of where I live. I did end up getting to sing first, and was done pretty quickly, but I didn't do as well as I hoped. And I know it's just a rehearsal, but it's daunting… I was actually shaking. Because the truth is I'm still intimidated by the talent of all the other singers, and I still marvel at how very fortunate I am that I sing with this group. And I was a little embarrassed singing because they are all so good. I know it's silly, and I know that they wouldn't let me sing with the group at all if I wasn't good enough, but that doesn't stop that little nagging voice that tells me I'm not good enough. So anyway I got home in time and the concert was great (another post for that!) but then the next day I got a voicemail message… and before I write about that I must say they are the nicest people ever, and that no matter how this may come across in print here on the blog, this was relayed to me in the nicest, gentlest and most friendly way. They said that they think I'm not quite ready to sing Ombra mai fu, that it's a bit too sophisticated for me. But I can sing Se tu m'ami again, and then maybe think about Ombra mai fu for the following concert on June 11. So of course THAT got me wondering just how bad I really sounded at that rehearsal...although they did still suggest that I sing... Also there's a birthday party after Saturday's concert, and I can sing it there. Truthfully, I'm not upset about not being able to sing Ombra mai fu at the concert. I'm still thrilled that I have the opportunity to sing again, and I'll get more practice doing the same song in front of an audience and so on. But the embarrassment… oy. I'm embarrassed that those ten people sat there in that little church chapel listening to me sing… and then decided that no, I shouldn't sing that song. I mean it's a GOOD thing. Better to be embarrassed there, in a safe place, than in front of a paying audience. But still… I don't even want to tell anyone about this. Even though it's not such a big deal. It's taking up a large amount of space in my head right now, space that should be filled with happy thoughts, not embarrassed thoughts. I'm hoping that by blogging it, it'll leave and I'll be able to move back to the happy high I was experiencing after the 30 Seconds to Mars concert… which I'll post about shortly.

So, to sum up: For a while I was feeling kind of dejected and embarrassed, but I'm back to grateful. I am so grateful for this opportunity to sing. At what point will I ever feel like I fit in?

Rainy Day Crack

My previous voice teacher told me that no matter how much you practice and prepare, if something goes "wrong" in a performance it's never the thing you expect it to be. That info came to mind the other day after performing "Se tu m'ami" at the Opera Project concert this past weekend.

I'm not usually a pessimistic type of person, but looking back at the evening…

• It was pouring rain. POURING.
• When I got in the car I noticed a bunch of CDs had slipped through the passenger seat cushions to the floor below Alex's seat, where they appear to had been stepped on. I scooped them up and put them in a little tote bag I found laying there.
• When I got to the green room (really a preschool classroom in a building adjacent to the church where the performances take place) there was NO ONE THERE. In reality that's a good thing, because I did some warm-ups, tried to tame my hair, etc. But I was a little concerned… WHERE THE HELL WAS EVERYONE? DID I HAVE THE WRONG DAY? Turns out that because of the rain, everyone else went straight to the church.
• Because of the rain, there were more singers than audience members. We sat in the audience when we weren't singing, to make it look fuller.
• Before I performed I went into the "backstage" office to change into my shoes. Things are piled up there, hoarding-style. I knocked into a precariously balanced tray and sent a box of stationery tumbling out and all over the place.
• My shoes felt strange… because I had put them on the wrong feet. Corrected that immediately.
• My panty hose kept rolling down every time I stood up. No one could see but I could feel it.
• I realized I never had agreed on a signal with the accompanist to begin. He started as soon as I got on stage. I was hoping for a moment to take a deep breath and center myself. Did so during the musical introduction.
• I didn't sing it as well as I know I can. I lost the air pressure, gulped on a word and then actually had a huge crack near the end.
• I bowed and smiled but felt like crying. I disappointed myself and felt like I let my teacher down, although she didn't feel that way at all.
• When I opened the passenger side car door to put my bag in, the little tote bag of CDs fell out and most of the CDs slid under the car. Did I mention it was pitch black and soaking wet out?

Apparently everyone else thought I did great. I guess I do hear the mistakes and the potential for improvement more than anyone else does.

Judge for yourself:

I'm not trying to be an overly-dramatic drama-llama here. It's just that, I know the potential sound I can produce, so I'm disappointed when I don't. Consistency, that's what I want.

On the plus side, during the performance of one of the singers after me, the pianist was missing a page of the music, and it took them a few tries to figure out just what the heck was going on. Plus he sang beautifully, and there was a huge thunderclap during a dramatic pause. So it's all good. My crack? Forgotten. By all but me.

Comte Ory in Multiples of Three

Saturday was packed with opera! I had a rehearsal for an upcoming Opera Project recital at 3. We got there promptly at 3:00 and I'm proud to say I think I sang pretty well! I did the song twice because my teacher arrived halfway through the first time. Then we all chatted briefly with the director. I told him that we were on our way into NYC to see Le Comte Ory, and who was in it. Well. He told me that the O.P. is planning on doing some sort of benefit next year for some sort of vocal award (can't remember the particulars of any of it) and happens to be an award that both Juan Diego Florez and Joyce DiDonato have won. And there's a slight slight infinitesimal chance that they would actually be at the event. I mean, let's be realistic. It's highly unlikely. Highly. But just the idea that there's even the slightest, less-than-1% chance that they could be there… OH.MY.GOD. Just the idea is leaving me floating in my happy place. And then off Husband and I went to see them in NYC.

We drove in and got there an entire hour before our restaurant reservation. We wandered around a little and then ducked into Bar Boulod for drinks.

The pink drink is some fabulous mixture of blood orange and absinthe. The other is kumquat and I don't recall what kind of alcohol. They were both yum.

Then we went to Rosa Mexicana where I had a mango laden drink and Husband had an uber-fancy margarita. Then he had a pear something with cinnamon simple syrup that I drank most of.

He ended with a glass of "sipping" tequila and I had a coffee with Kahlua, tres leches and Kahlua mousse. And that's just the drinks. The food was YUM. We ended up with their famous guac for two, then we shared a bunch of appetizers as our meal. Everything was delicious, PLUS we had room for dessert: The most scrumptious flan ever, with a scoop of absolutely delectable chocolate mole sorbet that was just TO DIE FOR.

We stumbled across the street to the Met where I bought myself a wind-up Nunzilla that spits fire!!! Look! I also got a Magic Flute flipbook, which Alex at first rejected but then later looked through and now loves.

We got to our seats with plenty of time to hit the restroom.

View from the seats:

And now, the opera itself.

Very loosely, the story line is, the men have gone off to fight in the Crusades. Their wives have vowed to live as widows until they return. The countess isn't married but her brother is one of the crusaders so she decides to live as a widow too. So they're all (allegedly) chaste and in mourning. The Count Ory, who happens to be in love with the countess, but apparently not THAT much, sees this opportunity to help "console" all these lonely women so he runs off with his assistant and comes to the village disguised as an old wise hermit, complete with long hair and a long beard. His assistant totes him as this mystical guy who can grant them blessings, etc. So he comes in and all the women are fawning all over him. Everyone lines up to ask him for blessings. He is all, come back to my hovel with me and I'll comfort and bless you all. Then along comes Isolier, his page. This is a trouser role played by Joyce DiDonato (who tweeted me back during intermission when I tweeted her a photo of my view of the stage!) So of course the hermit/count recognizes the page, but the page doesn't recognize his boss. He too is in love with the countess. The countess has asked for an audience with the hermit because she's so depressed. Isolier suggests that the hermit counsel the countess to fall in love with Isolier to help lift her depression. Isolier also tells the hermit of his idea to sneak into the castle dressed as a nun. So of course the count is all pissed off that Isolier is his rival, and of course he steals his idea. The countess comes, he counsels her, she falls in love with Isolier, there's all this confusion typical of Rossini and then the hermit removes his hair, beard and raggedy shift to reveal that he's actually the count. Everyone is royally pissed off, they chase each other around in circles, etc. End of Act 1.

Zipped out to the balcony for some fresh air:

Act 2 takes place in the Countess' castle. It begins with a terrible thunderstorm, complete with pyrotechnics on stage - they used some sort of arc-creating device like a welding tool to create the lightning, it was really cool. So all the ladies in the castle are freaked by the storm, then there's a knock on the door - it's a bunch of nuns who claim they have been harassed by the count. Except… it IS the count and his knights. We have an absolutely ridiculous scene where the count, dressed as a nun, thanks the countess for saving them… and gets very, very friendly. The countess is like, what the… why is this nun behaving this way… meanwhile… the count's assistant, dressed as a nun, has broken into the wine cellar and brought the nun-knights plenty of bottles. And I have to say that nothing pleased me more than to see Juan Diego Florez dressed in a nun's habit, spinning happily in the middle of the stage, habit flying out. The nuns-knights proceed to get trashed. Every time a woman from the castle came by they pretended to pray, but it was more and more difficult for them the more they had to drink. They sang, they danced, they formed a kick line. It was hilarious.

Then by far the best scene… Isolier gains entrance to the castle. When he learns that a group of nuns is there, he realizes that the count has stolen his idea and it's actually all men. Oh the horror, oh the scandal!! Isolier pledges to protect the Countess. They figure the count will try to sneak into her bed that night so Isolier stays with her. And of course he does, pretending to be the nun and claiming to be scared and unable to sleep. What ensues is confusing and hilarious. He gets into bed with them and somehow (perhaps because he's drunk??) doesn't realize that Isolier is there. So the three of them are pretty much all over each other. Isolier tells the countess (who at this point knows it's the count and not a nun) that if it makes the count happy, why not let him caress her? Yowza baby! It was quite interesting to watch, and watching through binocs gave it an added touch of voyeurism that opera is known for. They were seriously all over each other. Hands on legs, diving under her dress, snarfling each other and so on. It was this bizarre sensual mixture of, are we watching a woman with two guys (Countess, Page and Count) or a guy with two women (Juan Diego, Joyce and Diana)? At the end the husbands return and the count I guess gives up.

The singing was, of course, spectacular. At some points Juan Diego was a bit hard to hear. Diana Damrau… what a treat to hear her sing. Those high notes…WOW!! She seemed to have a little trouble with a few of them but for the most part she was spot on. And Joyce DiDonato…adorable. ADORABLE!

After intermission the people next to us didn't return to their seats so we got to spread out a little. Did they leave or simply move to other empty seats? Who knows…

Here are some videos the Met posted on their YouTube page, taken at the dress rehearsal... including the Menage a trois from act 2. As usual, if the blogger format cuts the video edge, click through to YouTube to see it.

Fabulousity

Every time I walk into Lincoln Center and see the arches of the Metropolitan Opera House I want to jump around and giggle. Like this. Just the sight of the fountain and those arches fills my stomach with happy butterfly flips.

So even though I wasn’t attending an opera Monday evening, I still got those tummy flips as I entered Lincoln Center to attend a performance of Nathan Gunn and Kelli O’Hara with the NY Philharmonic. The theme: Classic Broadway.

But of course let’s back up a moment. For when does a blog entry of mine ever start with a review of the performance? No no no. We must discuss the entire adventure.

The adventure began the day before the performance. I trekked into NYC to meet Ann for our annual Gunn performance outing. We hopped in a cab downtown to a FABULOUS Greek restaurant called Snack. It was TINY. We got the last available table (there are 5 total) and feasted on grape leaves, skordalia, white anchovies and other goodies:

Then we walked around the village a little (that’s Greenwich Village, for all you out-of-towners) and wandered into the few boutiques that were still open at 8:30 on a Sunday night. I got a FABULOUS selection of rhinestony items, including this: for a Grant Total of $10.

Breakfast in the hotel was on the 33rd (I think) floor, which boasted a lovely view of buses exiting the Lincoln Tunnel:

The next day we wandered around NYC, did some shopping, I found a FABULOUS bargain on a FABULOUS raincoat that actually fits because it’s petite length!

We eventually made our way to Lincoln Center where I got those happy tummy flips as described above. I exchanged my extra Comte Ory tickets for a performance of Rigoletto in May. Had to upgrade to the orchestra. Confirmed frantically via text and telephone that the babysitter was available while I stood there at the box office window. I figure Husband will like Rigoletto - I’m toting it as “Verdi’s Greatest Hits.”

We trotted across the street to Cafe Fiorello where we feasted on the King’s Antipasto:

And finally we made our way to our seats in Row R of Avery Fisher Hall for the performance.

View from my seat:

And then... I got scolded by the usher for taking a photo. Oops. Phone off and into purse.

Confession: I always get a little nervous before a Gunn performance. I’m not sure why, but I’m guessing it’s because there’s been so much drama associated with past performances, both happy and ... not so pleasant... Or perhaps it's simply because I'm excited to be there? Either way, that anxiety quickly passed, and I’m happy to report that none of his entourage crossed my path. The usher scolding was as dramatic as it got. Whew.

Another confession: I’m not really that “into” Broadway tunes. I am, however, “into” hearing beautifully performed music. The concert itself was delightful! The NY Phil is an amazing amazing orchestra. What a treat to hear them play! And the singing... WOW!!! I believe this is the BEST I’ve ever heard Nathan sing, and I’ve seen him perform several times. I don’t know if it’s because he was wearing a microphone, or because it was not opera, or just that he was in top form, or what. His voice was AMAZING. Wait, what’s the word of the blog post? FABULOUS. He was fabulous. Kelli O’Hara has an absolutely beautiful voice too. Clear as a bell. And I took advantage of our proximity to the stage to pay particular attention to her technique - how she pronounced certain consonants and how wide open her mouth was. All thing my voice teacher has been telling me - to not over-pronounce, to open open open wide, to stand still. I realized that I understood the words even though she did not over-pronounce, and in fact, sometimes barely touched or even skipped the consonants completely. In between songs the conductor explained the history and context of the pieces, which was really really nice. He was very personable. It felt like a private conversation rather than a presentation to an audience. We left the theater smiling and feeling good. And not that anyone else’s opinion matters to me, I do want to point out that the NY Times reviewer felt the same way. Plus that's the article to read if you want all the musical details. My favorite line from the review (of course):

Mr. Gunn injected a note of lubricious sleaze into “Wouldn’t You Like to Be on Broadway” from “Street Scene.”

Afterwards, we changed out of our finery and walked around Times Square where we ran into Spiderman! Look! He complimented my hat... then he tried to steal my purse!! Hahaha!!

Next adventure: Comte Ory at the Met!!

Desperation!

Still have to sell my extra Le Comte Ory tickets. Desperate to sell them, actually. I have them listed on Ebay AND Stub Hub. I have a sign up at work. I've posted it to the electronic "for sale" board at work. I've touched base with the guy who bought my Sonnambula tickets like 3 years ago. I've checked Craigslist. I've posted it multiple times to Twitter and Facebook. So far, nothing.

Luckily, I'm going to NYC on Monday to see this. Conveniently, it's located next door to the Met Opera. Also conveniently, as a subscriber I can exchange tickets up to a week prior to a performance. So if they don't sell by then, I'll exchange them for Rigoletto in May. I will continue to try to sell them, but if I can't, then I'll go. Husband will go too if we can find a babysitter. But hopefully, since people have actually heard of Rigoletto, I'll be able to sell the tickets.

On the singing front, I've been asked to perform with The Opera Project in recitals on April 16 and May 7th. Hm but thinking about that, will I be able to make the rehearsals? Going to see Comte Ory on Sat the 2nd, which means taking a train at about 3:30. Will be in Florida on Saturday the 9th. The 7th is a week after the 30 Seconds to Mars concert. Depending on what time I'm heading to Camden, I should be able to make that rehearsal. If I go first… but maybe there'll be one on April 23. I can make that day. I wish that were the day of the April recital. I can make a rehearsal the Saturday before, no problem.

Whew. It's fun to be busy but not when my busy-ness interferes with my availability to perform.

So… who wants to by the opera tickets?? Anyone? Send me an email by Sunday, March 20 - luindriel@gmail.com - and we can make a deal.

Coughing Through the Oldies

Welcome to the sick house. Luckily it's not the kind of virus you can catch from reading a blog. We have all had some version of "what's going around." Had to skip my voice lesson this week, not because of my chronic coughing-up-a-lung cough, but because the evening before I was up at 3am with Alex and his over 103.1 degree fever. I say "over" because I took it with an ear thermometer, and that thing registers us as having body temps of 95 when we're healthy... so who knows what his temp actually was? He's doing much better now except for his coughing-up-a-lung cough that seems to be much worse for him than it is for me. My poor little future opera-singer baseball-player astronaut.

I've been going back on my own and revisiting many of the songs I learned with my previous teacher, to try and apply all I've learned since then. It's interesting because my body falls into the same old habit of how I sang those songs when I learned them, even though I know proper technique and what I need to do to make them ring out on top of the air. So then I go back and do them without consonants, and note by note, to make sure each and every note is getting on top of the air. And then still, when I try to sing it, I sometimes slip back into bad habits here and there. Mostly at the beginning or end of a phrase. Like it takes me a few notes to get up to where I want to be, and then I let down early. So I then go back and force myself to pay extra attention, over and over, so I can relearn the songs the correct way. Maybe one day (when I'm home alone) I'll record myself singing one of them. I really want to retry Gretchen am Spinnrade. Of course I have no idea how to pronounce most of the words, which sort of puts a damper on learning it... But I'll get it.

At my previous lesson I started learning "The Sun Whose Rays are all Ablaze" from the Mikado. Gilbert & Sullivan!! Learning it for real!! How fun!! Here's a sample so you can hear how it sounds.

As we were going over it, the next student was out in the foyer and heard me. She commented on how much I've improved since she last heard me sing. People keep saying that - I know it's a compliment and I do take it as such, and thank them graciously, because I truly am thankful, but it does sort of make me feel embarrassed at how bad I must have been before, for so many people to comment on how much I've improved. I know they don't mean that either, but it does cross my mind. And while it does make me wish I had started studying voice years ago, I'm also so very grateful for having started when I did. And I can never express how thankful I am for Alex's early childhood music teacher for putting me on that path.

Cashing In and Out

Dropping the big bucks again. First, this Friday- VIP tickets for 30 Seconds to Mars go on sale for their concert right here in My Home State for a show at the end of April. And now that I've done VIP I can never go back. Worth it alone for the early entry to the venue, to secure my spot at the railing. Will Shannon ask me to sing again? I doubt it. On the off chance that he does, I'm probably singing the following month in the Opera Project Birthday concert, so I'll be prepping something. But I don't think that M&G singing experience will ever or can ever be repeated.

Next, the Met announced their 2011-2012 season. And while we will have Nathan Gunn in Billy Budd, I don't think I want to spend money on something disturbing. The budget allows only one opera there next season, so I'm saving my pennies for L'Elisir d'Amore, with Juan Diego Florez and Diana Damrau. Together again! Of course I have lots of time to decide about Billy Budd. It's over a year from now, and even if it sells out (which I don't think it will) there are always tickets available.

Speaking of tickets available, I have extra tickets for Comte Ory at the Met on April 2. Juan Diego Florez !! And Diana Damrau!! And Joyce DiDonato!! Ticket info here. Anyone interested, pop me an email - luindriel@gmail.com - if we do this outside StubHub I'll cut the price listed there by 10%! Pass this info on, I'd love to unload these extra tickets to a deserving party!!!

Hearing is Believing

I still can't believe I sang at the meet and greet. I know this sappy happy feeling will fade, but I'm reveling in it now. I mean, WOW. Jared snapped his head around at the sound of my voice. A voice that he has, in part, inspired me to achieve. The whole band has, really, but you know. I was pretending that he had to be able to hear me up in that cupola in the painting! I lapsed into that trance and forgot that he was actually in the room. How ridiculous is that?! It was, as one friend pointed out to me, both thrilling and slightly horrific at the same time. But mostly thrilling! And somehow, through it all, I managed to maintain bladder control. Actually, peeing in my pants wasn't really a concern of mine. Forgetting how to talk coherently, yeah. But that's pretty much always a concern...

But yeah. Shannon fawned over me and my voice. Tomo and I talked about proper breathing. Jared... he heard me sing. And complimented my voice. I didn't even think to tell him that he has inspired me. I was just... gahhh.

My voice teacher was thrilled when I told her all about it. She said that it really took cojones to do that, and she's not surprised that I did, because I have them! She pointed out to me how validating is it to be able to sing on command and to "wow" people like that. And that often people are in awe of opera singers because opera seems so difficult and inaccessible. Was Shannon star struck? Maybe a little! Plus he was definitely impressed that I had the cojones to do it. The truth is, I felt a little uncomfortable by the attention. People were there to see them, not to hear me. She told me to get used to it. Yikes!!

I've found that people I know are impressed that I can sing an entire "song" in another language. But I don't just stand up and perform - I practice and study and learn the words and the notes and how to sing them and I practice singing them in front of people and so on. It may appear effortless in the end, which is the goal, but it's only all the prep work that makes it seem so.

And now, life resumes as before. Must must must call the vocal coach. Must must must mentally prep for my next adventure, which is seeing Nathan Gunn perform next month. And then Juan Diego Florez, Diana Damrau and Joyce DiDonato the following month. And finally, I must plan for my next adventure on Mars!

More Life on Mars

Here's the official Meet & Greet photo. Click it to see it big. And no, Jared is not wearing a Snuggie. It's (allegedly) a poncho. He said he got it for his mom but it was too big on her so she made him not only keep it but promise to wear it. Yeah sure, blame your mother.

And here is a playlist of some videos I took:

And yes, I'm still glowing and floating from the show, the meet and greet, the singing and the great fun I had with all my friends all weekend long.

Voice lesson tomorrow. Can't wait to tell my voice teacher all about it.

Mars Fan Tutte!

Wow wow wow wow!!! Saw 30 Seconds to Mars last night. AMAZING ADVENTURE!!!! We had the more-than-I've-ever-paid-for-an-opera-ticket tickets which gave us early entry to the venue and a meet and greet with the band after.

We were told to get there at 5. We got there at about 4:45 and had to stand out in the freezing rain until they checked us in, 1 at a time. We were all like, Ok wait we paid from $250-$450 per ticket (depending upon the VIP level) and we can't wait INSIDE while you do this? But the chick in charge (who was really very nice) said that they allowed only 5 people in at a time. Some people were there in just t-shirts. It was brrrrr coooollllldddd but we survived. Then we got wristbands and went to wait in a little lobby area. After a while they let us into the venue and we went straight to the barrier where we planted ourselves for the evening. I was directly in front of the guitarist. I actually sent him a direct message on Twitter to tell him I was there and I'd wave my long braid at him. I did, and he gave me the thumbs up, although I learned later at the meet & greet that he didn't see the message until AFTER the performance! So I was just another lunatic doing weird stuff until then. Well I still might be, but anyway... The concert was great. I LOVED being on the barrier. I made friends with security. When Jared had people move up, I braced myself and held on. There was a cool breeze, I could breathe, I could hang on. I wasn't moving from my spot, no way, no how. Here are some photos of my view of the stage:

Yeah. We were that close.

The concert was awesome. The people around us were all totally into it and going nuts. I heard later that the back of the crowd was kind of tame, but we had no idea. As Jared says, the front is for the people who want to go crazy, and we were going crazy. It was like an out-of-body experience.

After the show we waited in the pit area for the meet and greet. The rules were, no cameras, no hugs, no asking for hugs. Can only imagine what has happened in the past to prompt that one. They had us line up in this long line, then the band members came out and went down the line, chatting and signing things. I had made opera-mars bracelets for them.

Now, I know that most of my readers will know what these bracelets are about, but for the non-opera folk, here's your explanation.

"ZauberTomo" is taken from Mozart's Die Zauberflote, the Magic Flute. So we have, Magic Tomo!

Shannonini - Man that was a hard one to come up with. I already gave him (via a friend from Austria who saw them in Switzerland, ain't the internet grand??) a bracelet that says "Don Shannovanni," and seriously, how could I top that? So I looked through one of the opera books I have and finally came up with Shannonini, inspired by Rossini, Bellini and so on.

And finally, my favorite, for Jared. "Mars Fan Tutte," from Mozart's Cosi fan tutte. You know. "All girls are like that" or "All the girls do that." In the context of the opera, it's basically that all girls cheat on their boyfriends. But in THIS context, it's "all girls do (meaning, are into) Mars" OR, using the "fan" as the English word fan, all Mars fans... are girls!! Which I know is not true. So no need to get all up in arms. There are plenty of male fans. But most of the audience seems to be female. So how amazing is that pun?? Huh?? I was so excited when I came up with it, because I'm such a dork. But there you go.

So here comes the absolutely amazing and crazy part of this adventure.

I was excited but not nervous or star struck about the meet and greet. I got over that after my idiotic star-struck meeting with Nathan Gunn back in 2008. So the guys are coming down the line. Shannon is first. He's the drummer. I introduced myself, we fist-bumped hello (is that the germ-free handshake?) and I told him I sing opera, mentioned the Don Shannovanni bracelet (he had no idea what I was talking about, no surprise there) and gave him Shannonini. He was like a little kid. "You sing opera? REALLY? Sing something!" I joked with him, "Wait a sec. I think I'm the one who paid to see YOU perform..." and he kept saying, "No, really! Sing something!" so I said ok. He stepped back to the middle of the room, told the band video guy to film and said, "Hey Jared! Jared! listen..." Inside I was like, "Holy cr@p, this isn't happening" and outside I looked at the camera, took a deep breath and lapsed into "performance mode," which, as you all know, generally means imaging the Cupola Man in the cupola of the church in that painting in my voice teacher's house. Cupola Man... oh wait a sec. That's Jared. One of the people who inspires me to sing my best. He was there. Cupola man was there. IN THE ROOM. I sang the first few measures of Ombra mai fu before the "cupola man is in the house" realization hit me like a ton of bricks and I got nervous. But I have to say, I'm pretty damn proud of myself. I had my voice on the air and when I hit those upper notes it RANG through the venue, clear as a bell. I could hear everyone sort of get quiet when I started, but when I went up and got loud, the place went SILENT. My friends said that Jared glanced over when I started, but his head WHIPPED around when my voice rang out. Luckily for me I didn't see that. So I sang a few measures, then stopped when the brain-bricks hit me and asked Shannon if that was enough. He was like, "You have an amazing voice!" and I said, "I can't believe I just sang in front of everyone, look, now I'm shaking." We chatted a bit more, he signed the back of my t-shirt and moved on. Next came Jared. Fist-bump hello. I'm like, "So obviously you know that I sing opera... I made you this bracelet, it's a pun, I won't tell you what it means..." and he said something about google... which now as I read that I hope didn't come out rude! I was still all off-kilter from singing. I mean, I can't friggin' believe that I did that. I wasn't star struck. I was post I-can't-believe-I-just-sang-for-people-on-the-spur-of-the-moment traumatized. He told me to take care of my voice, he signed my shirt and moved on. Then Tomo came, saw my mass of hair and said, "OH!! Now I get it. I didn't see your tweet until after the show." It was pretty funny. Gave him his opera bracelet, we chatted, he signed my shirt and moved on. After they finished the chat-n-sign it was time for photos. When it was my turn I said to Shannon, "You're not gonna make me sing again, are you?" and he said he was impressed, he didn't think I'd actually do it. Yeah, I don't believe I did it either. Then they took the photo and that was it.

My friends and I all went to a diner where it slowly sunk in that Shannon asked me to sing... and I did. And I did a halfway decent job. I imagine they'll remember me...

I love my life.

A Quckie

Quickie post here...

Got a great, really helpful comment on my previous post. I tried it... and it worked! Focusing on the a of soave made the other notes just sort of... bounce off into the right place. And so far I'm able to do it about 90% of the time.

I haven't been to my coach in a while. I really really REALLY have to call her. Hoping to start back up with her next week.

My lessons are getting better and better, just more and more fun plus more and more work, but GOOD work. My teacher has me going back to older pieces I've sung, to keep them fresh. And, I assume, for me to apply what I've learned since I last sang them.

And now... I must run and prepare for an ADVENTURE!!! Going to see Thirty Seconds to Mars tomorrow night about 3 hours north of here. It's supposed to snow/sleet/rain tomorrow so we're going up tonight. Pictures and a full report to follow of course!

Little Things

Sounding better and better after each lesson. Funny that.

The lesson takes place in my teacher's living room. A few weeks ago, instead of standing in one spot next to the piano, I decided to use more of the room. I mean it's not a huge room, but there is space in the middle with no furniture. And once I started doing that, I started sounding better. Suddenly I wasn't just standing there. Walking and moving somehow helps me to focus. I don't move the entire time, but I have given myself permission to not just be a statute next to the piano.

A couple of weeks ago my voice teacher's friend, also an opera singer/voice teacher, came to the lesson. He said he was amazed at the difference in my voice since the last time he heard me. He gave me some really good pointers. Sometimes they talked about me like I wasn't in the room! It was nice, it was all good.

Anyway, so once again it comes down to consistency. I am able to hit higher notes than I've ever dreamed possible (for me) but something inside me is afraid. Afraid of the note, afraid of having it sound wrong, afraid of something. I look back at my own history and see a pattern. When I was learning Una Donna a 15 anni I was afraid of the jump "finger ri=so... finger pia--nti" to the "so" and the "ti." The fear would cause me to close down on it and then I wouldn't be able to hit it. Now I have no problem with it. But here I am learning Ombra Mai Fu, (with that recit at the start, but I think I'm learning it in a slightly higher key than that, because I can do that one no prob but the low notes are a bit low for me) and there's a note at the end, the 2nd to last "soave piu" where the "piu" is a jump up to a note that I fear. I fear it, and I close down. I have to get over the fear and just do it. Sometimes I can hit it nicely. I can't (yet) hold it out as long as I'd like, or as long as I guess I'm supposed to, without closing down on it. So I'm hoping that I'll get over it, be able to do it, later while learning (and fearing) some new jump, wonder why I ever had trouble with it. At least I'm consistent with that...

Hormones

Not mine!! I mean, not this time.

Warning: Do not listen to this while swallowing any type of liquid, unless you want it to come out your nose when you laugh uncontrollably.

That Mushy Time Between Xmas & New Year's Eve

Oh dear. I believe this may be the longest I've gone without blogging. I apologize to my readers and to myself. And I blame Twitter. And Netflix. So many Dr.Who episodes, so little time!!!

My voice is improving little by little. I listen to my voice lessons and I practice, practice, practice. Mostly in the car, since that's really the only time I'm guaranteed to have to myself. I know it's not the most ideal situation but I have to make do. My next voice lesson is this coming Friday. Next Opera Project recital is… ? The upcoming performance is a composer's concert, featuring music of local composers. Then I think the next one after that will be in March. Hopefully I'll be chosen to sing in it. Oh and remember a few posts back I wrote about the possibility of a small part in an opera? Well, that fell through. Not sure if the part is being sung by someone else or if they removed it from the production. But it was nice to have people thinking of me as a possibility!

In professional performance news, someone I know (who happens to be a reader, you know who you are!) has these amazing photos from the performance of Billy Budd in Bilbao. I'm not sure where she got them from - they look like screen caps from a video. With her permission I'll post them here and/or to the Nathan Gunn Yahoo group. Here's a video from the production.

Speaking of Nathan Gunn, two (more) things.

Thing one: My brother and his family went to the family production of Magic Flute at the Met. They LOVED it. Even my brother, who was prepared not to like it, thought it was good. My sis-in-law said that Nathan was great. I kind of wish I had gone with them, even though I saw his Papageno back in April.

Thing two: Even though I'm not "into" Broadway, I still went and got tickets for this. Ann is coming out to join me and we'll be yukking it up in a hotel in NYC that night. Late night, post-performance Ben & Jerry's straight from the container, here we come! Maybe we'll even have spoons this time. I'll try to remember to pack a spork, just in case.

The Songs and the Torches

Whew, finally time and energy to write in the blog!

Once again I'm participating in the holiday chorus at work. We've sung in both cafeterias and next week we'll sing at the conference center. We're singing songs in English, French, German, Italian, Latin, Hebrew, Yiddish, Ukrainian and Chinese. The Ukrainian is hard!! It's "Carol of the bells." Look at this video, not only to hear the song, but because the video is quite... entertaining. Luckily we all already know the tune because forget about the words. Most of the time I sort of fudge it. And I know I'm not the only one. Still sounds good though.

I'm trying out all sorts of different pieces with my voice teacher. She gave me a copy of "Ombra mai fu" in a higher key and we're working on that. We're also working on something called "The Green Dog," a very silly one, and a song cycle called, "I Hate Music." Not sure how I feel about that one yet. I think I prefer the older stuff.

In Mars news, Hurricane has been released. It's extremely controversial because it contains many scenes of sex and violence. And as I suspected, our marching scene didn't make it into the short version. Remember I said that we marched up stairs out of a sort of tunnel? I caught a screen shot of what they did end up using:

Just a few more seconds and you would see me. Of course, because of the content of the rest of the video it's not like I'd go around announcing, "Hey! Look at this video! I'm in it! No, not that scene. No, that's not me. Uh, no, not there..." If you do watch the video, let me warn you right now that it's not safe for work, kids, relatives or anyone else whom you wouldn't want to catch you watching it.

In other Mars news, I decided that I wanted to avoid waiting in the freezing cold all afternoon on the day of the concert in order to secure a spot up front, so I went ahead and purchased a "Golden Ticket," which is a VIP pass that includes a poster, a t-shirt, early entry to the venue and OH YEAH! A MEET AND GREET WITH THE BAND. And I will, of course, report that experience in full detail afterwards.