Patience

Trying to figure out this vocal thing here. Consistency. Want it. Don't have it.

I can do the warm-up exercises great. I can do all the notes on all the vowels. Too bad I can't do a recital of vocal runs. So why do I lose it during certain (read: higher) parts of the songs?

Here's what I think is happening and what I'm planning on doing about it. This is in no particular order:

For one thing, I have to forget about the consonants. The l and the r bog me down. Gotta just forget that they exist.

I've made up vocal exercises using the runs that are causing me trouble. I do the notes in order but up and down the scale. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

When I do that, and when I sing the songs, I'm being very very conscious of my breath. What I mean is, I'm really filling up, expanding my rib cage, and really steadily pulling my abs in as the air comes out. I have to trust my throat will make the right notes, so I can give the air flow the attention it needs. So for the songs I'm doing one section at a time, consciously filling up and letting the air out.

I understand now what my previous teacher meant when she said to think of all the notes on one plane. Because when I have the air in the right place, the notes really are all there in that place. It feels great, it sounds great. I understand. The high notes are no different from the lower ones. I understand!!! Now I just need to convince myself and do it more. And do it more in order to convince myself.

Also I have to go back to the "basics" of legato - of not touching the ending consonant of a word until the beginning of the next word.

I feel like I'm back at that place where I have to hold all these three-dimensional shapes together in the space in my head. I have to concentrate, and at the same time, sort of relax and let them go. It's kind of like when you blur your vision to see those 3d pictures. Did I mention that the last time I wrote about this? With those, once you start to see something you can relax and just let your brain focus on what's there.

I trust the concept of "muscle memory." I want my body to just relax and do what I'm training it to do. I can get there. I just have to be patient. Wish me luck with that.