My "Fight" with a Singer

It's true, sometimes I do get myself into sticky situations.

So this story is about how I had a conversation with a famous singer that turned sour.

It was 1986, I believe. A friend and I went to see Adam Ant at a small theater about an hour away. We got there early and were wandering around town, idly shopping and what not. We decided to check out the theater, and lo and behold, the backstage door was standing open. We looked at each other and then went in.

The backstage are was a maze of hallways with doors. We had no idea what to do. After a minute or two of wandering around backstage (not unlike how we had wandered around town) some guy was like, "Hey, you're not supposed to be here," or something like that. I explained that I worked for my college radio station (I did, I wasn't making that up) and that I wanted to get a station ID from Adam. A station ID is when they say, "Hi, this is Adam Ant, and you're listening to (call letters, station numbers, location)." The guy led us outside and down the alley behind the theater where he shut and locked a gate. He told us to wait and he'd have him come out. Okay... didn't think he would, but we waited. We didn't have to wait long. He came out about 5 minutes later. I remember he was wearing a cowboy hat and sunglasses. I held the tape recorder and gave him the info... and he couldn't repeat it back. He just couldn't remember it. He tried twice and then said, "You should have written it down. That would have been SMART." Well. I felt my indignation rise, here I was, a huge fan, and he was being snarky! So I said in a sort of obnoxious tone, "Oh... Do you want me to write it down NOW?" at which point the guy who brought him out there jumped in and said, "No, that won't be necessary. He'll do it right this time." And he did. And I had the whole thing on tape.

I did end up transferring the station ID to the proper format for use at the station. I did remain a fan. However I must say that my ardor faded quite a bit. I guess that's to be expected. I think that was when I decided that in the future I was never going to try to meet musicians that I liked because it had great potential of breaking the spell. Obviously I learned something from that experience, then conveniently forgot it 20 years later as I ran around for photo opportunities with ng and jdf. Ah well at least I amuse myself with these silly adventures. I wonder what the next 20 years will bring?

Decisions, Decisions

More on summer voice lessons...

Since I'm registered with the music school for four 45 minute lessons, I could either get a refund OR take the lessons with a different teacher.

So now I don't know what to do... how weird would it be to switch to someone new for just a few lessons? In theory I feel like it'd be good - A new teacher brings a new perspective, a new way of looking at things, a different teaching style and so on. On the other hand, I have built a trusting relationship with my current teacher. I joke that my voice lessons are like psychology treatments. Part of that is simply having the 45 minutes to myself (meaning, no child saying mommymommymommymommy), part of it is the release I get from the music and part of it is because of my relationship with my teacher - I can tell her anything. She knows where my insecurities lie. (ooh, double entendre [minus the racy part]!) So how would that trust and familiarity affect lessons with someone else? Especially knowing that it's just for a few lessons? If I were looking for a new teacher, yeah, I'd meet with different teachers over the summer. On the other hand, perhaps I'd end up with another psychologist! And then my biggest fear: What if I like the summer teacher better than my current teacher?

Then, of course, I will ignore all that and just be too lazy to make the phone call(s) to find out the who/where/when of it all. They'll refund my tuition automatically and I'll apply it to a trip to the Met this coming season.

There. Problem solved AND opera ticket guilt absolved as well.

Blogging saves the day!

"You Know What to Do"

So said my voice teacher when she called to give the sad news: She didn't have enough enrollment for summer for the school to give her a room. I could go to her but she lives too far away - something like 45 minutes. I could also go to another teacher over the summer. She said that she's not worried about me taking the summer off from lessons because she knows I practice... "You know what to do..." is what she said.

But now, since she's not teaching Thursday evenings, she'll come with me to the final dress of Mikado next week.

What to wear, what to wear... always a dilemma with my ever-expanding waistline. (from eating too much, not from pregnancy. I'm not pregnant.)

If I Do Say So Myself...

...I think my child is amazing. Yeah yeah he's had the tests and we know he's gifted, cognitively/intellectually or whatever. Yeah he's got the sensory issues and the social skills issues that go along with being too smart for his own good. And then today... today he was making up these amazing songs. I wish I could sing them for you - I'll have to catch him on film. But he was singing something like this:

I went outside to play
There was a thunderstorm
I played out in the rain

Argh I can't remember. I should have written it down. You could tell he was making it up as he went along. It mostly rhymed. The rhythms were great. You could tell when he switched from the verse to the chorus and the meter changed. He changed his vocal quality when the subject changed - it was very dynamic. Husband and I just stared with our jaws hanging open. So the subject matter was familiar to him, the pattern of the song from verse to chorus and back to verse was typical of, say, a Beatles song, the tune was unique but melodic, it mostly rhymed AND he changed his volume and voice type to go with the feeling of the words. All spontaneously.

Perhaps this is something all kids can do - I have no idea. Either way, I am truly amazed.

Put That Thought On Hold

Heard from my voice teacher today. She may not have enough enrollment to teach over the summer. She'll get back to me "shortly." Yeah, I hope so, considering we have a lesson scheduled for this coming Thursday...

July is Coming

Voice lessons start up again this week! I'm so happy. I wonder where, though? I mean, I know where, generally, but have no idea what room. I guess I should find out before I get in the car on Thursday.

Other July Things:

• A cast member was generous and nice enough to offer me free final dress rehearsal tickets (or just one ticket? I should find out... how does one ask? Oh I know, one waits for that person to read this entry...) for The Mikado on July 9. I wonder if I should see if said cast member has any other as-yet unspoken for final dress tickets for the other performance she was almost in until they realized how overworked she was and let her off the chorus hook. There are only so many costumes a person can sweat in in the course of a week.

• NYC July 17th? Free concert in Central Park. Depends on the weather and my motivation. I'm spoiled by my up-close-and-personal seats for the past few performances - 14th row, 3rd row, 4th row, 2nd row - yeah ok and upper balcony very near family circle before that- and this could be even farther than those balcony seats. And crowded. And hot. With no where to pee. Since it's free, I'll wait and see. Funny, in March I was all annoyed that snow kept me away. Now I'm like, oh, it might be too hot, better not plan on going. You can probably tell that Florida is not on my list of retirement destinations.

• That other opportunity I've mentioned might take place in July. Not sure the etiquette about when to call back, but I feel that right now it's too soon. Maybe next month if I haven't heard anything. The person with whom I spoke was distracted about something unrelated to our conversation. I'm thinking it might be best to wait for that situation to pass before attempting further contact.

And that's July.

Rainbow Alert

Had a very restful vacation. Sang only in the echo-rich bathroom. The rest of the time I rested my voice and read the music. Also, climbed this. Drove past this. Saw a spectacular one of these! Here are a few of my photos, click the link for the rest.





Stayed at the most fabulous motel, ever.

Views from the patio:






Views of the patio:



That's some sort of fire-pit, filled with glass chips. The tiles are all iridescent.




The chandelier in the outside stairwell:



View from one window of our suite:



Here's the ceiling in the sitting room of our suite.



They let us peek into the unoccupied rooms before we left.
Check out this suite we didn't stay in!



And here's another, because who doesn't need a glowing red sink! The tub glows too.



Can't wait to go back and stay in one of the other funky rooms.

Back to the opera, and how it keeps me awake, next time.

ps I fixed the links for the rooms in the motel... sorry about that.

Legato in the Mountains

I may be able to get away from home and work, but I can't get away from music. I don't want to. So my goal these next few days is to:

A. Memorize the rest of the words to Batti Batti
B. Sing it without consonants to improve my legato
C. Try to figure out where to breathe

Wish me luck.

Off I go to the mountains.

Vacation Transport

Normally I'd make some sort of "saddle" type joke here, like maybe something about riding sidesaddle, or a caption asking where the saddle is. But seriously, does anyone ride a motorcycle in the desert in a suit? Risking a burn with a hand so close to the tail pipe? "Here, perch on this, and please don't knock it over. You break it, you buy it."

Don't know when this was taken. Found it here. Do people really buy this stuff?



Going on vacation this week so I won't be able to post for a few days. I will be able to moderate comments. No, I'm not going via motorcycle. Yes, I will try to button my shirt correctly. I will take my music with me so I can memorize the parts I still haven't drilled into my brain. Not sure what the rush is. I think I just like to pretend that I'm professional and have to memorize music before some deadline. Hopefully by actually looking at the music I won't learn it incorrectly and practice it with a mistake, as I've been known to do in the past.

ps not putting any names in the tags this time, which means, of course, that ... well, never mind.

$2 Toys!

Went to a rummage sale at a local church yesterday. I got there soon after it opened so I had first pick at all the goodies.

The CD rack was at the back of this table in the corner of the dimly lit basement, and there were boxes of books on the floor in front, so I could barely see the titles. But look what I got!! $2 each!!!


All I could make out on this one was "Mozart" and "Operatic Moments" so I grabbed it.



It wasn't until I put it on the table to pay that I saw the list of singers!! Netrebko! Florez! Bartoli! Fleming! And singers NOT listed on the cover... like, Natalie Dessay ...uh oh I just dropped it on the floor trying to look at the booklet... oops... it's ok... whew. So she and Juan Diego Florez each sing an aria from an opera I've never heard of (which doesn't surprise me as I've really only heard of the famous ones) called Mitridate. Oooh look at the link - he was 14 when he wrote it!! Click on that link above the photo to get to the Amazon listing with all the details and audio clips. It's so nice to have an opera highlight CD that doesn't have overtures. I mean, I like overtures, but not mixed in a track listing of various arias from various operas.


I also grabbed this - Mozart's Magic Fantasy.



I've heard this before - I got it out of the library - but I think that particular copy was scratched and skippy.

If I didn't have Alex tugging at me (Mommy can we get this? Can we get that?) I would have looked for more! The entire sale was a success for us - For Alex I got what I thought was a toy car for 10 cents, turns out it's a transformer - it has a little motorcycle inside AND it twists into a robot. Got some other great toys too, all under $1. But these CDs... they're MY toys!

Passion

A lot of my posts lately have started with me remembering something from childhood or teen years. This one is sparked by something I recall from my early twenties.

Soon after college, it seemed to me that most of my friends had some sort of passion. Medical school, midwifery, birdwatching, art, writing and so on. They all seemed to have something in their lives that made them feel complete, something they could immerse themselves in and come up with something to show for it, some sort of product - a career, a piece of artwork, a play, a performance. I felt a little left out. I wondered, "Where's MY passion? How can I just toodle along life, liking lots of different things, but not having a passion?" So now I realize that I just wasn't ready for it. Don't know why, don't really care. Here I am now. I do get wistful and wish I had started studying music in high-school and college. But there's nothing I can do about that.

It's funny because many people have told me that I'm brave for starting to study voice at 40. Then they usually go on to say how they've always wanted to study voice, or sometimes it's some other thing they've "always wanted to do." Well, why not just do it? Time will move forward whether you do it or not, so you might as well start. I don't feel brave about it - I just feel... I don't know... ready. I felt ready. So even though I may regret not starting earlier, it doesn't matter - I couldn't have started before I did because I just wasn't ready.

What's interesting is, I also love love love making earrings. I could call it a passion. I get in The Zone when I'm trying to find the right combo of beads, and when I do, I can actually feel it. Like, a chemical is released in my brain - an endorphin, perhaps? I get the, "Yes, that's right," feeling, and then I know I'm done with that pair. However, my passion for making earrings waxes and wanes. I have these surges where I'm constantly thinking about beads, looking at my beads, looking for new beads, and then I need time off. With music, I can't get enough. The, "Yes, that's right" feeling is bigger. It's huge. I want it. I want it now - I'm impatient. I know I need to build my voice step-by-step, but at the same time I want it all now. It's more than simply being addicted to the adrenaline or endorphin surge. Well, I think it's more. It seems to be. It's this sense of the music opening me up, spiraling around me, being part of me or me being part of it or something... I can get that feeling from listening to certain pieces of music, but it's much more intense when I'm creating the vibrations myself. I'm creating it - I'm a part of it. And I'm becoming more a part of it as I improve. It's amazing. It's an amazing feeling. Also, studying voice has forced me to open up, it's a form of communication. Right now it's allowing me to communicate with myself, but as I have more opportunities to perform I'll be able to share that with people. I've done that already a few times. I think that's one reason I post so many videos - I'm like a child saying, "Look at this! Isn't this great?" And I don't mean my singing, I mean the feeling of singing. It's like being in love - I want to share it with the world. So maybe it is endorphins.

So, I know it sounds sappy, and it makes me weepy to realize it (it's ok, we all know I have a low weep-threshold) - I truly believe I have found my passion.

Dots and Dashes

Before I started studying voice, I considered sheet music a foreign language. It was so confusing - all those lines and dots and curvy parts and what not, and then to make it even more confusing, someone put some Italian words on it in italics. I'd glance at music and see this jumble. I'd often wonder at how a musician can translate it all into music when it just made my eyes go all wonky.

So yesterday I saw the sheet music for Batti Batti sitting on the dining room table and the page of notes on the staff was comforting. I saw it and I felt happy, I felt... I don't know, I can't explain it - it felt familiar. So for someone who actually can read music at a glance, what must it be like? Is it like glancing at a page in a book? Do they hear the music in their head? Is the sight of sheet music comforting?

When I pick up sheet music and struggle to read it, it's like entering another world. I wish I had learned as a child - I wonder if, like everything else, it's easier for a child to learn to read music than for an adult.

Off I go to practice reading music.

Keep Your Eyes on the Abs

It's all for vocal research - just another study of the use of the lower abs in proper singing technique.

Torturing Myself

I've been getting the updates about rehearsals from a friend of mine who's supering this summer. Of course they're having a great time. And it doesn't help when she also wonders why I didn't get picked, because she thinks I'd be perfect. Of course we'll never know, but as I am just as self-centered as everyone else, I can't stop thinking that it's because of the blog and what happened last year. Of course that is total paranoia as that would mean that someone in the office would have had to remove my info from the list the super captain sent in to be forwarded to the director, and I doubt they have the time or energy to do that, plus in an ideal world they'd give everything to the director to allow him to create the best possible cast. And trust me, I've learned my lesson- I wouldn't post anything specific - just generalities about the good stuff. Oh well. Maybe someone will drop out.

Clearly I am not used to rejection without a reason.

I can hear my 25 readers thinking, "Oh no, she's not STILL whining about this, is she?" Well, yes, I am, so get over it.

So I wonder if I go back through the blog from the beginning and mark on the calendar the happy and angsty posts if we'll see a monthly pattern. There's a thought.

Normalcy?

When I was a teenager I recall one of my friend's mothers saying that the most commonly asked question among teenagers is, "What's wrong with me?" I wonder if it simply starts during the teenage years, when we really become self-aware, and then fades but never completely vanishes from our psyche.

Obviously I am in dire need of a voice lesson and the mental release it provides.

Today I was practicing Batti Batti and was actually pleased with my progress. I am using all the layers I've built into my voice, or I should say, I'm incorporating them all together much more quickly than I was able to before. I'm really working hard now on staying grounded and using my low abs - keeping the breath low in my body. I'm remembering to open open open and not swallow the vowels that are followed by /r/. I'm even finally getting the hang of reading music. I never really learned before, but finally I feel a little less awkward reading along the rhythm, or moving to the note that the note symbol moves to on the staff. I think in terms of wholes and halves. I still have to work on remembering the sharps and flats from the beginning of the music. But little by little my brain is learning to read the music. I can't necessarily name the note by glancing at the staff, but I can do the changes and the rhythms. I still usually have to do the "Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge" and F-A-C-E for the notes. One layer at a time. I'm glad I'll have a few voice lessons this summer to help me round out the aria.

So anyway, I'm excited by all that. Then, because of Facebook status updates, I'm aware of some of the rehearsal schedule for the opera I'm not supering in this summer, and seeing that makes me sad. Ok, it feels like a kick in the stomach. I know, I know, it sounds so dramatic, but there you have it. I know, I know, get over it already. I am trying to. Really I am. I thought I was over it, until I realized that rehearsals with the supers have probably already begun.

To put things into perspective, I keep reminding myself that if this is what's making me sad, that means that the rest of my life, the real stuff, must be pretty good. Otherwise this wouldn't matter at all.

Plus I still have this other thing in the works at the moment, the thing I won't write about until I know what the outcome will be. So I don't know yet if I'm happy or crushed by that.

So I'm hit with elation, depression, happiness, sadness, and I'm hit pretty hard in both directions, all over the course of several hours. This is my life. Is this normal? To quote the typical teenager, "What's wrong with me?"

Maybe it's time for some medication beyond the girltini. Feel free to recommend your favorite anti-depressant. My doc will rx anything I ask for.

The "If Music" Look

Here's what I was talking about in that post. And listen! It's Mozart! Recognize the tune? Of course you do, it's Voi Che Sapete! Yes, I know I am such a dork for being excited about that. Anyway, here it is:



Ok, off I go to watch this scene again.

Hot Fun in the Summertime

Yes! I'm taking voice lessons over the summer!!! With my voice teacher! I'm so happy. I'm taking only 4 lessons, spread out in July and August. I had started making tentative plans on how to continue studying on my own - researching websites that have vocal exercises and techniques, compiling vocal exercises and warm ups, just to keep on building. I do that a little, but really rely on my teacher for the foundation.

So now we'll continue with Batti Batti, which I LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! I'm in love with this music. And we'll also be able to get into Gretchen am Spinnrade, which while I'm not totally blown away by, I know I will be, because right now the haunting melody captivates me. It captivates me even more than before after seeing Lucretia and experiencing those haunting melodies.

I have something else in the works but I don't want to write about it until after it takes place, or perhaps when it's imminent. Until then...

p.s. And speaking of hot fun in the summertime, I haven't forgotten about this.

Let's Change the Mood

Lyric Opera has been posting clips of last season, both to their website and to YouTube. Look!



This may sound strange, but I keep looking at their stomachs - especially near the end of the clip, where you can really see them - and how they use their breath to sing, low in the abdomen. During Lucretia, the only person whose stomach was really visible like that (well, beneath the sweater) was the Female Chorus, and I watched hers too. Let's face it, when it comes to studying voice and vocal technique, I'm an equal opportunity stomach-watcher.

6/17/09
Edited to add: In case that link above stops working, here it is in another format:

A Horsey Affair

Opera Co of Philly has posted the rehearsal photos for Rape of Lucretia. Here too.

Here's one I borrowed from their page. You can see the horse thing on his upper arm. Oh and that black harness-looking thing - he wore that during That Scene. Let's face it, Tarquinius loved his horse.

More Thoughts About Lucretia

More details and thoughts about Rape of Lucretia have popped into my head. One I wrote as a comment/reply in the original post. I forgot to mention that there were a few scenes where the Female Chorus' actions mirrored those of the women. She was there on stage, singing about what they were doing, doing it right behind and next to them. They didn't see her of course. It was nice, very graceful, kind of showed that the F.C. is telling her own version of the story and the characters will therefore do what she says. Like she is in control by virtue of being the narrator? But at the same time the M&F Chorus were not in control, because they tried to prevent the rape but couldn't. This is all popping into my head as I type it so I haven't had a chance to really analyze it.

Another observation that should have been blazingly obvious at the time but wasn't until I was rethinking it today was, that rape scene - he's wearing a harness. He ties her up with the bridle. He rapes her from behind as if he's riding a horse... remember the whole whores/horse thing... I don't know why I didn't realize it at the time. Wait yes I do - I was too upset. Now it seems so obvious. And I'm still upset - I actually turned my head and averted my eyes as I wrote these last few lines.

I think this is one reason (besides sheer laziness) I don't like to do a lot of research before seeing an opera that I've never seen before. I have no preconceived notions about what anything is supposed to symbolize here - I'm going purely on that collegiate and graduate school training of how to analyze writing, poetry and other forms of art. And it's fun. I'm having these "aha!" moments as I think back over the performance. I imagine that some of the scenes are described in the libretto in detail while others are the director's creations. Doesn't matter to me - I mentioned in my last post that at least one other audience member questioned if the production was in line with what Britten intended. Perhaps this is naive of me, but... does that really matter? Once you write something, people are going to put their own spin on it, their own interpretation, based on their own experiences. You lose control. It applies to something as innocuous as this blog, or as heavily studied as the Bible. So really, is it valid to criticize something like an opera production by asking if it's what the composer had in mind? Unless the composer left explicit instructions, or is still alive, there's really no way to know. And surely any artist, writer or composer is aware that an audience may not know their intentions. And in this case I suppose the "audience" is the director. So how would a composer/author/artist feel about the fact that people are studying his or her work after they've been long gone. "Wait! That's not what I meant!" or, "Wow! That's not what I mean, but I like it!" or, "STOP!!!!!" To me, it doesn't matter. You put something out there, it's not yours anymore.

So this post has gone off on a tangent I didn't expect! Ah the joys of trains of thought.

I am still recovering from the performance. I'm still upset about the rape scene. I'm still blown away by the rape scene and all the rest of it. I'm upset, blown away and filled, as Banawoman said in her comment on the review post, with moments of joy about seeing it and experiencing the beauty of the performance. And of course seeing Nathan Gunn in it - vastly different from Papageno, Figaro, Zurga and the others he's made so popular... or have they made him popular?

Now I'm lapsing into post-performance blues. I've been waiting for this performance for almost a year. Banawoman and I planned to meet this weekend about 5 or 6 months ago, possibly more. The weekend was everything I thought it would be and more. So now what? It's time to plan the next few adventures. Who's in?