Grammar Rant No. 3.14

Today's rant: Homonym trouble.

What is UP with opera singers and their homonym trouble? If English is their second language, then fine, it's understandable. Otherwise, there must be something wrong with the educational system in this country.

Ok. I know we love them for their amazing talent for singing and acting the most beautiful music in the world. But still...

Here we go with grammar lesson number pi.

there/their/they're

there: pronoun for location. The stage is over there.
their: third person possessive pronoun. The men left their codpieces in the dressing room.
they're: contraction of 'they are.' They're on their way to the cast party.
Combo: They're shocked that their costumes were left over there.

your/you're

your: 2nd and 3rd person possessive. Is this your libretto? Your makeup is smeared.
you're: contraction of 'you are.' You're only in the chorus so stop singing along with the principals.
Combo: You're not going to believe this but your mother stopped by with your lunchbox.

its/it's

its: third person singular possessive. The opera singer set the chair on its side.
it's: contraction of 'it is.' It's difficult for opera singers to spell correctly.
The confusion is that for regular noun possessives we add 'apostrophe-s,' so people (such as opera singers) insert it in the third person possessive 'its' where, in truth, it doesn't belong.

And my new favorite homonym error, which I saw for the first time in my life today:

where/wear/ware

where: location. Where is the party tonight?
wear: Tonight's event is evening wear only. Did you bring your gown?
ware: something that is for sale, an article of merchandise, often used in the plural: The artist will be selling his wares at the craft show.

Learn it. Love it. Use it.

Homonym Trouble

My my. Looks like the Grammar Police have instilled a fear of editing into Mr. Gunn. It's ok Nathan, we don't like you for your spelling skills. Keep your mind on the music and don't waist OOPS I mean, waste time with spelling and grammar. Great story though. Next time my backyard is filled with deer (like, tonight) maybe I'll ... no, I don't think so. I may have long hair but I lack the testosterone to chase the herd. I'll stick to gathering berries and peaches in the yard. If the deer have left me any, that is. Maybe I can hire the Gunnster to chase the deer out of the yard so I can keep a garden. There's a thought.

I still find it mind-boggling that anyone can write anything and not proof it, since I write, rewrite, spell-check, edit and revise everything about 500 times, and I still make mistakes that I later go back and fix. Of course, I'm a bit nuts about that. Well, I suppose there are worse problems to have.