Still All in My Head

Ack! It's all happening so fast. First of two rehearsals for the Opera Project recital is this coming Saturday. I'm singing Batti Batti and I go back and forth between thinking I'm not ready and feeling like I can do it. I've done it. I know I can do it. Plus I have a voice lesson that morning and we'll go over it. And of course I've been practicing. Suddenly I can hear myself letting air out all these places where I shouldn't. I hear that h coming out in between where a vowel has two notes. Last week during my lesson, in addition to the zombie vocal frying, my teacher pulled out the ole rubber band and was stretching it out as I sang. Silly as it sounds, it really helps. So I've been doing it at home. It's hard! I mean, my fingers are sore! But seriously, the visual of the rubber band stretching reminds me to keep the steady pressure and not stop for a h break where it doesn't belong. So I do my glottal stop, my vocal fry, my rubber band stretch, trusting that my voice will send out the correct note all pretty and bell-like, all the while remembering the words, keeping the breath low and steady in the abs, standing still, pressing my shoulders down, gazing out over the "audience" (or out the window, at home) and not fearing those certain vowels on certain notes. I was explaining this all to a friend today who was hanging out while I futzed around with the music. She laughed when I did lip trills. I remember when I first learned about them and how I couldn't get through a line without laughing, kind of like now and the vocal frying. We both laughed hysterically at the vocal frying stuff. But I've been practicing and it really does help. She was good because she assured me that the i vowel (that's long eeeee like see or si) on an F doesn't come out all screechy like I feel it does. She said it comes out like I'm comfortable singing the note. And since I can sing the same note just fine on other vowels, it's obviously all in my head. So what else is new.

It's (Still) All In Your Head

I didn't sing much while I was in Florida. However, I didn't stop thinking about singing. I practiced in my head. I practiced holding together all the things I've mentioned before - relax the shoulders, relax and open the throat, open the jaw, caress the notes, deep breaths, maintain the legato, and so on. These are things that, when singing, I still have to work at to get them all to fit together. But I thought about them in my head and practiced them. Sounds strange to say I practiced without actually singing, but I did.

Then today I had my first voice lesson in three weeks. I went in with my "sing like no one is listening" attitude. And guess what? I could hear the difference. And my teacher could too! She pointed out that sometimes taking a break from singing and just thinking it all can really make a difference. It's like I straightened something out. I had a mental breakthrough. The notes were clearer, I was more confident and I was getting some of that sound I've been aiming for. Not all, mind you, but some. I allowed myself to relax and enjoy. Again, sounds strange, or obvious, but there you have it. I was in a Happy Singing Place. Next week we're going to revisit Despina because I want to see how far I can take her. Or me. Or both, I suppose.



Now I'm posting in tiny tiny letters and italics, in a difficult-to-read color, to trick myself. I am NOT posting about That Guy I sometimes (often) post about, but a situation has been brought to my attention... turns out that Juan Diego Florez, Joyce DiDonato and That Guy I'm not allowed to mention are all performing in Barbiere together in Los Angeles in December. But you didn't read it here, ok. Shhh. And no, I don't think finances will allow a Take 2, although I doubt Juan Diego will be going anywhere near bony fish in November.