More Therapy

Had a great voice lesson tonight!!! In all the tumult I forgot that lessons themselves are therapy, not only because you have to let it all out in order to give yourself over the music, but also because I generally focus on the lesson the entire time, giving my brain a rest from all the other things that are rolling around in it - usually a list of things I need to get done, places I need to be to get the things done and general "stuff of the day" - so it's refreshing to have a 45 minute time slot devoted to nothing but my lesson.

My vocal evaluation is next week, on Wednesday. I'm not as nervous about it as I was last year, which of course makes sense. Today we went over the two songs I'll be doing for the eval. I record my lessons and also write notes to myself (words, not musical note notes!!) of things to remember, checks on the music for when to breath, how to pronounce things, remember vertical space and so on. I practiced during the week and listened to the tape alot. My teacher was very happy with my progress. I've fixed a few errors and will work on the others by Wednesday. She also coached me on how to be - walk in, say hello, nod to the accompanist, fix on an imaginary person sort of above and behind everyone and sing to that person. I can do that. I did it during the lesson.

So the Tipsy Waltz went pretty well. She keeps sort of reigning me in, movement-wise. "Less is more." Movement, for me, can hinder my technique. So that's one of the things I'll be working on - subtle subtle movements. Then we did If Music Be the Food of Love. Again, problems connecting. Then all on my own I went and sat back against the wall, then slid up just a little so my back was still flat but I was sort of casually leaning on it. I was relaxed, my shoulders were relaxed. I got this dreamy feeling inside and just sang to that imaginary person. I had to come back to myself when the song ended. I was the person singing that song and believing it. I was singing it to an imaginary someone. When it ended I was still there for a moment. I love that. My teacher picked up on it without me saying anything - she said she could tell that I gave myself over to the music. So just like anything else, learning to relax into it makes just a huge difference. Practice, practice, practice. I know I can do it - I've done it before.

At the end of the lesson, I felt so much better about myself and all the crap I whine about. I hope it lasts.