The lesson takes place in my teacher's living room. A few weeks ago, instead of standing in one spot next to the piano, I decided to use more of the room. I mean it's not a huge room, but there is space in the middle with no furniture. And once I started doing that, I started sounding better. Suddenly I wasn't just standing there. Walking and moving somehow helps me to focus. I don't move the entire time, but I have given myself permission to not just be a statute next to the piano.
A couple of weeks ago my voice teacher's friend, also an opera singer/voice teacher, came to the lesson. He said he was amazed at the difference in my voice since the last time he heard me. He gave me some really good pointers. Sometimes they talked about me like I wasn't in the room! It was nice, it was all good.
Anyway, so once again it comes down to consistency. I am able to hit higher notes than I've ever dreamed possible (for me) but something inside me is afraid. Afraid of the note, afraid of having it sound wrong, afraid of something. I look back at my own history and see a pattern. When I was learning Una Donna a 15 anni I was afraid of the jump "finger ri=so... finger pia--nti" to the "so" and the "ti." The fear would cause me to close down on it and then I wouldn't be able to hit it. Now I have no problem with it. But here I am learning Ombra Mai Fu, (with that recit at the start, but I think I'm learning it in a slightly higher key than that, because I can do that one no prob but the low notes are a bit low for me) and there's a note at the end, the 2nd to last "soave piu" where the "piu" is a jump up to a note that I fear. I fear it, and I close down. I have to get over the fear and just do it. Sometimes I can hit it nicely. I can't (yet) hold it out as long as I'd like, or as long as I guess I'm supposed to, without closing down on it. So I'm hoping that I'll get over it, be able to do it, later while learning (and fearing) some new jump, wonder why I ever had trouble with it. At least I'm consistent with that...
